


Feather Fall

by OneDarkWindow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3888157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneDarkWindow/pseuds/OneDarkWindow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Grisha Jaeger found her outside the wall, one of many victims of a brutal titan attack, young Devlin Shoughnessy was a mystery. Without any idea of her origins and only fragments of memories of her former life, Devlin and her companions grew to become a squad of the Military Police's best and brightest. This story follows their adventures through the canon events of SnK from the perspective of the Military Police, and will contain Spoilers for non-manga readers. No planned pairings, but they may occur organically as the story progresses. Eep!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Youth

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here we go. My first real effort towards a work of fanfiction. Writing original characters alone can spell trouble for a fanfiction, paired with an almost total lack of romantic pairings means that many folks just won't be interested in reading. That's ok. I've got no axe to grind with any of that. I've got a story to tell, even if my telling of it isn't as good as it could be. I've long felt that the MP don't have much of a voice in SnK; just the loudest ones, so giving them representation required a little creative thinking. As usual, the spelling of canon-character names varies by writer, so I just went with what I'm familiar with. You might notice subtle and not-so-subtle references to the group's Irish ancestry, including the use of Flogging Molly songs as title chapters. The first chapter will be short; the rest quite a bit longer. Hang with me if you will. :)

**_To Youth_ **

 

_Plip. Plip. Plop._

 

Something wet and warm was dripping on her face. What happened? Where was she? She groaned against her aching joints, realizing that they weren’t responding to what she wanted them to do.

 

“This one’s still alive!” she heard a voice call, ringing in her head too loudly and causing her to wince. Male, she thought. What was going on? Where is everyone? She forced her eyes open, her vision blurry and struggling to focus. A man’s face appeared in front of her. Long brown hair and circular glasses caught the orange light of a campfire somewhere behind her. She felt him began to search her body for injuries.

 

“What? What are you doing? Who are you?” she croaked, her small voice rattling in a dry throat.

 

“Hush, child. My name is Grisha Jaeger. You’re far outside of the Walls in Titan country.” He couldn’t have been but nineteen or twenty by her reckoning.

 

“The Walls? I don’t understand. Where’s my family? What were those awful giants?” she responded weakly. His voice sounded strange; a thick dialect she barely understood him through.

 

“We’re not sure right now. My father is looking over the survivors, but there weren’t many.” He supplied, gently. “How many were in your group?”

 

The girl squeezed her eyes shut, feeling pain and pressure suddenly in her right arm. She sucked air in through her teeth, trying not to lose consciousness again. She didn’t know how long she’d been out before, and she wasn’t ready to fall back into it again.

 

“Hey, it’s ok. Breathe a moment. You don’t have to answer right away. What’s your name?”

 

“Devlin.” She stated simply. Her head throbbed as she struggled to focus on what he was trying to tell her.

 

“That’s an unusual name.” he remarked, and quietly injected her with something.

 

“So’s “Grisha”. OW! Hey! What the hell?!” Devlin tried to sit up, tried to get away, but the pounding in her head was too severe.

 

“That’s no way for a kid your age to be speaking. I just gave you something for the pain. We’ll talk again when you wake up, ok?”  Grisha gingerly slid her dark hair out of her face and wiped off the blood that had been raining down from the treetops; the blood of others she had been traveling with. As he watched her slide back into sleep, he set her broken arm and surveyed the rest of the group. They had traveled in wagons full of metalsmithing supplies with words painted on their sides in a language he didn’t understand. There were five survivors in all, and of them all but one was a young child. They couldn’t stay here much longer, he thought. Titans would return to this area sooner than anyone was prepared for them, with the assistance of the Scouts or not.

Titans were only the second most pressing thing on his mind, though. “They’re not from within the Wall…” he realized, staring into the sleeping face of Devlin Shoughnessy, age 6.

 

 


	2. Feather Fall: Tomorrow Comes a Day Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Dev's squad as they get their orders for the day: to Trost for a night and back. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! What am I even doing?! 
> 
> My first real effort towards a work of fanfiction. Writing original characters alone can spell trouble for a fanfiction, paired with an almost total lack of romantic pairings means that many folks just won't be interested in reading. That's ok. I've got no axe to grind with any of that. I've got a story to tell, even if my telling of it isn't as good as it could be. I've long felt that the MP don't have much of a voice in SnK; just the loudest ones, so giving them representation required a little creative thinking. As usual, the spelling of canon-character names varies by writer, so I just went with what I'm familiar with. You might notice subtle and not-so-subtle references to the group's Irish ancestry, including the use of Flogging Molly songs as title chapters.

_**Tomorrow Comes a Day Too Soon** _

 

“Alright, Nile. What have we got today?” Devlin leaned against the window of a three story stone building. Nice. Adorned with flower boxes and bird feeders. Of course, every house in the interior was as lovely as this building here, and this so happened to be the military police barracks .

 

“Lots of the usual. Today your squad will be interviewing three irate merchants regarding some stolen items. Following that, I want you to pass these reports to Hannes at the Trost Garrison, so there’s a bit of travel in it for you. You will stay in Trost until he can return these documents to you tomorrow morning and then report back to me immediately.” Nile looked left and right before putting a cigarette to his lips and lighting it. “Any questions?”

 

“Yah, one or two. Where we stayin’ in Trost?”

 

“Yes, we’re covering your tab at the Boarshead Inn.” he exhaled a small puff of smoke as he spoke.

 

She grinned. “That’s what I like to hear! Thank you, sir.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder, forgetting herself a moment. He looked at her curled fist and back at her and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Be careful, Dev.” he said lowly as a tall shadow filled the doorway of his office. A tall man in a long coat had opened the door more widely and let himself in. Devlin looked him over, etching his face in her memory. His skin was tanned and tired looking with crows feet pinching his eyes beneath the shadow of a smart looking fedora. He sported two six shooters in a belt at his waist, and she suspected a few more on his person. He walked with a wide, confident gait as his footfalls clunked on the floor with a light jingle. Spurs. She hated men who wore spurs.

 

“Nile!” he announced, grinning like a cheshire cat and pulling an undisciplined salute, but hitting his chest hard enough that a puff of dust appeared in the sunlight of the window. “Got some word from his majesty I thought you might like to hear presently.” he drawled slowly. His eyes drifted to Devlin, who saluted the man whose reputation preceded him. “Alone. For now.”

 

“Dev you’re free to go. Good luck.” Nile nodded to her.

 

“Don’t forget to bring old Dawk’s lovely wife a pie on your way back from Trost. That’s her hometown and all that, I bet she’d love a little slice of home.” Kenny the Ripper was grinning at her still, and she didn’t like any part of it or whatever he seemed to be insinuating. She exhaled as he removed his gaze and turned to grab a bottle of rye from the office cabinet, sending a glass tumbling. Dev didn’t think, she only reacted; she drew her paring blade so quickly that she caught the glass on the point of the awkward weapon.

 

Kenny retrieved the glass calmly, as though he hadn’t come within inches of a lunged blade. “For now, indeed. I’m glad to see the cream still rises to the top, Nile. What’s her name?”

 

“Devlin, Kenny. She was just leaving.” Nile took another drag of his cigarette, shifted his eyes to the door and nodded.

 

“She could have killed me.” the ripper feigned in a high voice.

 

“I promise you Kenny, I don’t know of anyone with the skill to do that. So, about the King, then.” Nile seemed determined to pull the conversation back to why this man was in his office.

 

“I know of a few with a shot, but the prime suspect is off playing jockey and kissing ass somewhere with the survey corps. I’m interested in testing the limits of Miss Devlin’s skill sometime to see if that was just some shitty fluke or not.”

 

“Wasn’t a fluke.” Devlin spoke up lightly. “I just don’t see any sense in breaking a perfectly good drinking vessel. Otherwise you poor blokes would be forced to drink straight from the bottle like vagrants.” She couldn’t help herself, and when her hackles were raised hints of her dialect ornamented her language to punctuate her sarcasm. Something in her burned whenever her skill was challenged, and she was tired of playing it down, even to a renowned killer.

 

“Is that a fact.” Kenny mused. “Nile you better watch it or this girl’s going to replace you before long. I like her ...style.” She felt two sets of eyes fix her with a hard gaze, one with interest and the other with what felt like fear.

 

“Sir. I will return tomorrow.” She saluted properly and retreated into the safety of the hallway. The hair on her neck still stood on end, and she rubbed it with her free hand and boxed her blade with the other. ‘Stupid, stupid girl.’ she admonished herself. This is not the kind of attention you want, and the worst person to become known to. She picked up her pace and slid down the railing of the stairs, intent on putting as much distance between the meeting and seeking the safety of her squad.

 

She found them in the library as she often did, and leaned against the doorway as she observed them, each with their minds lost in whichever books were in their hands. Elfrieda thumbed a page in a book about fairy tales, her eyes wide with interest. Heinrich was furiously sketching out a diagram from whichever book was splayed open on the table in front of him. Ailish was asleep in a chair by the window, demonstrating her long-held ability to fall asleep in any condition. When she wanted to sleep, nothing would stop her. Colin was quietly tying Ailish’s long brown hair to the back rungs of her chair. Her squad was a force unto itself. Before they joined the military, all five of them had grown up in foster care in Shiganshina. She’d known them as long as she’d been alive, of this much she was sure. Memories of her childhood began around her 6th year, but try as she might she just couldn’t bring earlier ones to the surface. She didn’t know her mother or father, and was never sure why she spoke differently from the other kids. All she was certain of was something she had always held as irrefutable fact: she wasn’t from within these walls, and neither were her friends. Her dreams were filled with sea birds and mountains of fire as real as her struggles in Shiganshina, but try as they might, none of her friends could recall anything of substance about their early childhood. It was this simple fact that brought them together, and sealed their bond more than any oath of service. They spoke to each other in a broken language none of them could remember the right of, and if anyone asked they insisted it was a language they made up when they were kids. It was Grisha Jeager who had pleaded with Devlin to forget what few shreds of her past she could remember, and made her promise not to tell a living soul of her life before the walls.

 

The blonde Elfrieda was once Brighid, but took a local name when she entered the military because she was entranced with the fairy stories of these Germanic folk. It didn’t matter how many times she’d read the stories, she’d read them all again until she was ready to write her own. She’d written quite a few.

 

Heinrich was once Eoghan, but his teachers in primary school couldn’t spell it much less pronounce it, so he too was forced to adopt a local name.Green eyed, dark haired, and dark complexioned, he’d captured the eye of a few ladies (and gentlemen) since he’d been in the military. He was also the eldest of the group; he was 13 when they were found. The once lanky, curly haired boy had grown into a lithe warrior with the ferocity of an eagle. The other two couldn’t be swayed one way or the other and refused to give up what they felt was their best link to discovering the rest of their memories.

 

It was an unspoken longing for all of them; to discover where they’d come from and who they were. The answer was one they believed lay outside Wall Maria, beyond the confines of the outlier district of Shiganshina. The obvious answer to this problem was ideally to join the Recon Corps and investigate for themselves before Grisha Jeager enigmatically explained that only murder lay outside of the walls and the world would be poorer without them. He told them that the real truth could be found somewhere within the halls of the King, and the King alone may be able to help them unlock their memories. It just so happened that the Military Police could offer this close proximity, but also prestige and security. When Wall Maria finally fell years later, the group quietly agreed that their decision to remain far away from the conflict was the correct one. For the most part, the MP’s were lazy, corrupt, and spent their money on useless things. Devlin refused to allow herself to become anything other than the best she could be. Every time she performed well in her role, it brought her a step closer to the King and a step closer to the answers she sought. They were the top five of the 99th training corps, and they weren’t about to let the world forget what they were capable of. For now, though, it was keeping the peace that took precedence.

 

“So, we’re moving. We’ve got a lot of work to do today. Colin, really stop.” Devlin pushed her short black hair behind her ear and all eyes (save Ailish’s) snapped to her.

 

“Anything good?” Elfrieda asked, closing her book groggily.

 

“Sorry Elf, lots of thieves around here these days. And we get to ride to Trost and stay a night.”

 

“Yes!!” Colin lept up. “Drinks are on the MP tonight!” Ailish snapped awake and sat bolt upright in her chair, pulling her tied hair on the rung.

 

“AH!! Agh! I’m being attacked! What is? What’s happening? Why my head always?!” she ran her hand down her entangled hair until it met with chair. Colin laughed, happy that his prank had been fruitful.

 

“Ailish, you really ought to cut that before it gets trapped in your gear.” Heinrich was rolling up his sketch and shelving his book.

 

“We haven’t had a single damn reason to use our gear for the last few weeks, and I like it long.” Ailish protested as she tried to free herself.

 

“We may have one in Trost.” Devlin mused. “If my guess is correct, they’re expecting some kind of big to-do. The freshly minted cadets have been running evacuation exercises for a while now. They’re awful damn sure of that for people who fight jelly brained titans all day.”

 

“Sussspiiiccciioouuuusss” toned Colin, wiggling his fingers in the air. “How many conspiracies are there, I wonder?”

 

“Hundreds.” Elfrieda spoke quietly. “and every one of them terrifies me.”

 

“Are we going to do any work today or are we going to just talk?” Devlin crossed her arms.

 

“You’re in a big rush to do nothing, Dev. Someone piss in your cereal?” Colin pulled his short red hair into a small ponytail.

 

‘None of you had to meet the creeper of the year this morning’ she thought to herself. “Stifle it, Colin. We’ve got a long way to go and I’m looking forward to some travel through forest.”

 

“Yes, sir.” he teased, but saluted properly.

 

“Hey you guys I can’t get my hair free!” Ailish whined.

“Ailish and her chair might require two horses today.” Heinrich mused. “Or you could just cut it.”

 

Ailish pouted and sighed. “Come on guys, it’s like my best feature. I haven’t cut it since Maria fell. Try to get me free?”

 

Colin frowned and inspected his handiwork, realizing now that his day was about to get worse.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Two hours later, the squad was on horseback clopping their way to Trost. It would have been easy to imagine a small raincloud keeping pace over Ailish’s freshly styled new look. For the first time in five years, she wore her shortened hair in a ponytail as the chip on her shoulder grew in strength and severity. Colin had apologized non-stop for the first hour, and was finally resigned to an uncomfortable silence.

 

“If I said I thought your ass was your best feature, could you find it in your heart to forgive me for being an asshole?” Colin broke the silence.

 

“You’d be a liar, and you’d still be an asshole.” Ailish called back.

 

“Please, drop it you two.” Devlin called from the front of the line. “Don’t make me pull this horse party over.”

 

“Hey guys, we have company.” Heinrich gestured to the road ahead. Three people on horseback. Green cloaks meant Scouts.

 

“Oh great, the suicide squad is on the move.” Ailish said dryly.

 

Devlin raised her hand to her eyes to block the sun’s glare and get a better view of who was headed her way. Glasses reflected in the dappled light of the forest, and Devlin brought her horse to a stop. She waited for them to draw closer before calling out.

 

“Ahoy, travelers! What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

 

Mischievous brown eyes caught hers from beneath a mop of barely tamed chocolate colored hair. “Ahh, the King’s Finest are finally patrolling the forest road. How reassuring.” Hanji slowed her horse evenly to Devlin’s as both squad leaders saluted one another. “ I promise you that I come in peace, but I hope that this interrogation will not delay us in our purpose for too long. Our mission is time sensitive, you understand.”

 

“Seriously, what’s the problem. We don’t pay bridge trolls if that’s what you’re hoping for.” a shorter man wearing a cravat raised his otherwise monotone voice in a way that suggested he was annoyed, but not willing to resort to shouting.

 

“Oh, Captain Levi! I didn’t see you there at first.” Devlin fixed the man with an appraising stare, the lightest hint of a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. This man’s reputation preceded him even more than the eccentric Hanji Zoe, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that the kind of work they did in the Scouts highlighted  and drew in the more impassioned cadets.

 

“Here I am. Can we go?” Levi pressed with irritation.

 

“We’re not here to take your money. We’re on our way to Trost.”

 

“And what business does his majesty trouble himself with in Trost District?” Hanji spoke up again.

 

“The entire realm is the king’s concern, Hanji. I do not presume to know his majesty’s mind, but I know that he’s well within his right to move within it as he sees fit.” Devlin chose her words carefully.

 

“I don’t really care about the king’s internal movements. We’re in a rush, so we’ll be going now unless you feel that you can make up a more convincing reason to hold us here than simply standing in the way.” Levi was more impatient by the minute.

 

“You aren’t being detained, and we’re not stopping you. It’s not every day you meet interesting people on the road, but we’ll be going now. Lovely to meet you both on such a fine day. And you as well, Moblit.” Devlin continued, maneuvering her horse around the Scouts.

 

“How is it you know our names and we don’t know yours?” Hanji questioned, turning their own horse around to keep pace with Devlin.

 

“Oi, shitty glasses. We’ve gotta go.” Levi pressed his horse forward on their projected route.

 

“You’re far more interesting than we are. I have an interest in reading all about the heroes who slay dragons and venture into lost territories.”

 

“I find your accent to be more interesting than a couple of scouts doing their jobs. Where are you from?”

 

“No place you’ve ever heard of.” It wasn’t a lie.

 

“Try me.” Hanji’s glasses flashed.

 

“I’ll just set up a picnic then, shall I?” Levi grumbled from his horse.

Moblit, ever aware of situations where Hanji might be straying a bit far off the beaten path, offered a well intentioned “Squad leader, we’ve gotta go. Just write down their names and we’ll meet up later.”

 

Noting the presence of a second and growing little black raincloud over Levi, Devlin quickly offered. “Devlin Shoughnessy. If you’re desperate for a chat, we’ll be staying at the Boarshead in Trost tonight. Do you know it?”

 

“Excellent, Shoughnessy. I’ll see you there.” and with that, a satisfied Hanji rejoined the Scouts and galloped towards civilization. Levi groaned and heeled his horse, and Moblit waved as they parted ways.

 

“Oh my god, he’s so hot.” Elfrieda breathed as soon as they were out of earshot.

 

“Seriously? That guy has a library of issues.” Colin rolled his eyes.

 

“I would too if I had to keep pace with Hanji day in and day out.” Heinrich offered.

 

“Yeah, but patience is a virtue, and I know that he really cares.” Elfrieda took a sip of water from her canteen.

 

“Why don’t you ask Levi for his address tonight if he joins Hanji at the tavern?” Devlin may have been teasing, or she may have been serious.

 

“Levi? Why would I want his address?”

 

“Didn’t you just say he was hot?” Colin exclaimed.

 

Heinrich laughed. “Oh, no no. This is Elf we’re talking about. She doesn’t mean Levi; the girl has the hots for Moblit.”

 

“You are fucking with me right now.” Colin wrinkled his nose. “Moblit? Why would anyone? I mean, what’s the draw?”

 

“You mean with Levi sitting right there? I’m not sure. He’s the Scouting Legion’s shining star isn’t he? I don’t mean anything funny, but you can keep Moblit, Elf. I’ll still be dreaming about Levi.” Heinrich said in a sing-song voice.

 

“You do that, Heinrich, but you better not sleep talk or I’ll smother you.” Devlin returned her attention to the road. Everything was still. No sound, no breeze, no creature moved. She slowed her horse and stopped, realizing there was a fork in the path ahead and no part of the forest was silent for any reason other than suspicious ones.

 

“Elf, Heinrich, tree.” she spoke quietly. The two stood in their saddles and lept upward into low hanging branches. Their horses, familiar with the drill, wandered off the road and took the opportunity to snack on some forest flora.

 

The remaining squad spread out, quietly drawing their standard issue pistols. Dev drove her mare into a full out gallop towards the fork and veered right; if there was anyone lying in wait she stood a chance at flanking them if she was far enough from the others. Ideally, they would then crush the troublemakers in the center, and a day of policing would end as it always does. Mischief managed. King’s peace kept. Whatever.

 

She waited, and nothing happened. ‘Why aren’t they acting out?’ she wondered. Her instincts were never wrong. Never. She scanned the treetops looking for movement, shapes...anything. Colin and Ailish had stalled their horses on the trail, not willing to close the distance between them.

 

A few minutes passed.

 

“You see an angry squirrel or something?” Ailish called out.

 

“No. Something’s off.” Dev called back.

 

“Yah, we’re not moving and I don’t see anything.”

 

“I could swear there was something.”

 

“Eh, can’t be right all the time, right?”

 

Devlin frowned. The military police were the best of the best. They didn’t make mistakes. They made stories or colorful explanations to cover deviations from their well laid plans, but never mistakes.

 

“Drill’s over. Let’s go.”

 

“Drill, my ass!” Colin laughed.

 

“Not so loud, Colin. Someone might think it’s an invitation. Everyone fall in, we’re moving out.”

 

Elf and Heinrich reappeared on horseback almost as smoothly as they had exited before. Heinrich was the first to speak once they had endured a tense couple of miles.

 

“You realize you’re a terrible liar, Dev.”

 

“I guess.” Her mind was everywhere but there. MP’s don’t make mistakes. They never make mistakes. Lying was part of the job. More and more, lately, it felt like it was the biggest part of her job. She knew that they were being watched. Followed. She felt it in her as sure as she could feel a headache, or cold. The road behind them was shadowed save for dapples of golden light that shifted with the breeze. No movement that she could see, but she could surely feel it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gyaaaah. More to come! Stay tuned...


	3. Feather Fall: Tobacco Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dev and Heinrich try to sort out the intentions of their higher ups, and why they even decided to become MP's in the first place. Devlin first begins to suspect that they are being stalked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're joining us at this point, go back and read the first couple of chapters and rejoin. I'll save you a seat. This chapter contains less action than the others, but this is a squad of naturally suspicious people who really, really don't want people in their business. Ego: it's a problem.

_**Tobacco Island** _

 

The group rode on, stopping occasionally to water the horses. Devlin opened the tube that contained her superior officers rolled documents. He hadn’t bothered to seal them, which was rather unlike him. Nile was very detail oriented, and something like this would not have slipped his notice unless 1.) he didn’t mind that she read these documents or 2.) he trusted her not to. She carefully slid them back into their casing when Heinrich interrupted her thoughts.

 

“I’m curious to know what kind of documents we’d have to send the Garrison so quickly overnight, and even moreso why Hannes of all people is the recipient. Why not just send them to Pixis directly?”

 

“It isn’t really our business to know. If I were to guess, I’d imagine that it has something to do with the canon upgrades that particular unit has received. They’ve been steadily fortifying Trost District over time, so it may be a simple inventory list to sign off on.” she explained, still not entirely sure.

 

“Alright, but again, Pixis should be taking care of these things as overseer.”

 

“I agree; I think he’s already been through and signed off on the initiatory process of the latest upgrades and fortification. Perhaps the Commander just wants to be sure that everything is as Pixis says it is.”

 

“You think they don’t trust each other?”

 

“I would be rather surprised if they did.” she said, not bothering to mask the bitterness in her voice. “We all have our roles to play, afterall.”

 

Heinrich was silent a moment, leaning against a tree with his eyes fixed on the road. “And how long do you suppose we’ll be doing that?”

 

“...All our lives, I imagine.” she said quietly.

 

“Whatever happened to Grisha’s plan? Find the King? Ask him questions?”

 

“Well...I....I can’t explain it. It’s not something Grisha said per se, but rather the way he said it. You know he always had a way with words that lead your mind long past where his statements actually ended? He mentioned that the King would be the only one that could restore our memories. Restore them. Not explain the situation or tell us about wherever we came from. As if we needed to be cured or released from some measure of control.”

 

“Is that really how he explained this to you? I mean, all this time I thought maybe the King just kept a secret library because the truth hurts far more than the lie. Ultimately, if I wanted to protect a large group of people from an agonizing truth, I could find some justification for it. It does sound a little like you’ve been listening to one of Elf’s conspiracies.” Heinrich’s face was difficult to read. If he was upset, he didn’t look it, but Dev couldn’t shake the idea that he was protecting her from his thoughts.

 

“I might be overthinking it. I don’t know anymore,” she thought about it, suddenly worried that he thought she was withholding information from him all this time. “Do you regret it, then? The MP have a far easier life. We’re well taken care of. We’re far from further calamity and trauma. We get paid more than the beans they dish out to the Suicide Squad or the Blanket Fort Brigade. We’re good at what we do, and we keep the peace. Not everyone has to be a lazy ass. I think we do fine police work.”

 

He thought a moment before responding. “ Honestly, Dev. Every time you’ve asked me that question, I felt the same way. I still do. The MP was the right choice for a lot of reasons. It sounds selfish, but if we’re destined for a short lifespan here in the Walls, I’d at least like to not spend it in misery. Maybe a lot of people don’t understand it, and the loudest ones fight against it and belittle us, but it isn’t a bad life. It’s certainly a weird one if I think on it too long.”

 

Dev took a seat on the ground and pulled at the grass, something she’d always done when her thoughts needed sorting. “Why do you do that?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“It doesn’t matter what I tell you, or how upsetting what I’m telling you might be...you always agree with it. Or find a way to support it. You’re the oldest of us. You were practically an adult while I was still a small child, and you still won’t offer your own opinion.”

 

“I am offering my own opinion. I may have considered the Scouts before, but definitely not now. They’re so distant but they’re so loud. Loudness does not always equal righteousness, and until I am able to fully comprehend the difference I’d much rather be in distanced enough from the issue in order to assess it objectively. I like being in the military police. We’re distinguished. We get what we want. If I were to die tomorrow, I wouldn’t have any regrets.”

 

“Not even if you missed a chance to see home again?” she ripped up a particularly large clump of grass, dirt ball intact. Suddenly she felt his hands on her shoulders. Warm, and comforting.

 

“Dev, home is where your family is. It isn’t in your dreams, or some unobtainable past, or some faraway island. When you’ve chosen a family, a tribe, set down some roots and ideals and codes of honor. These things are familiar. They’re home. Our squad is home. And if all of this is a gigantic crock of deceptive shit, I have faith that our family will not only figure it out but we’ll be leading the charge to freedom from it.”

 

She leaned back against him, carefully considering his words. He was her family, even if  they weren’t related they’d honestly never know. They’d adopted each other, an older brother and a younger sister. “Ok” she said quietly. “But I still think you should be the one to lead the squad.”

 

“That’s your destiny, not mine.” he stated simply.

 

“ I don’t understand anything about destiny.” she grumped a little.

 

“You will.”

 

“If you say so, friend of my heart.” She interlaced her fingers with his for comfort; something they’d always done.

 

“Hey, you guys! My horse has already completed the cycle of drink, piss it out, drink, piss it out twice now. What do you say we move?” Colin called from the creekside.

 

“Alright, get ready to move out. We’ll be right there.” Dev called back. Heinrich helped her to her feet and she brushed herself off. The air filled itself with the scent of grass and dirt, and something else. Tobacco smoke. Faint, but present in the air like a ghostly vapor she had accidentally unearthed. She froze, familiarity creeping in. ‘No.’ she thought. It couldn’t possibly be him. Kenny had smelled of oiled leather, pungent cologne, and cigar smoke. It was impressed into her memory now. However, no one in her squad smoked cigars.

 

“What is it?” Heinrich never missed a beat.

 

“It’s probably nothing. I smell smoke.” she said, not intending to whisper but realizing she’d lowered her voice anyway. Why was one man so capable of becoming her own personal boogeyman in less than a day? An MP jumping at shadows. Ludicrous.

 

Heinrich had closed his eyes and Dev knew he was smelling for the scent. “Hm. The power of suggestion is a strong one; I smell something but I think it was just the grass you were murdering.”

 

“Hope so.”

 

“You still think we’re being followed?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Let’s go. We have to get to Trost soon.”

 

“Storm’s coming.” Elfrieda called from horseback. Elf was always right. Up until this morning, though, so had Dev, and she wasn’t yet ready to admit defeat.

 

“Then we’d better haul ass.” Ailish commented, mounting her horse.

 

The group bore onward, taking less rest stops until they’d finally arrived at the gate of wall Rose. Trost district wasn’t much to look at, and there wasn’t much in the way of scenery, but it was a bustling commercial area. Lots of people pressed into a small space, full of food, and standing between the inhabitants of Wall Rose and oblivion. In other words, a convenient titan snack that might take them long enough to chew through while the garrison came up with a plan to bolster the gate. Horrifying, really. No wonder the outlier districts produced so many military families.

 

Still, human grease trap or not, Dev had a fondness for Trost. It was far from the comfort of the capital, and much closer to the wild unknown that lay beyond Trost’s outermost gate. So much land was lost when Wall Maria fell, and nature would always take its course in reclaiming whatever humanity left for it to consume. Beyond that, and far beyond Shiganshina where her childhood memories lay deep beneath rubble, was freedom. Freedom meant answers and honesty. Freedom meant no Titans or orders or 3dmg or royalty. In fact, the further she strayed from the capital, the more freely she could clear her head and command her thoughts.

 

Strange.

 

An unbidden memory of Grisha suddenly reappeared to her. They were fishing somewhere at a lake when she was about 9. She’d asked him “Grisha, why do you think the walls are circles? Not squares?”

 

“A lot of reasons.” he’d replied. “Watch.” And he’d thrown a small stone onto the surface of the pond, creating concentric ripples outward.

 

“Okay. You threw a rock. That makes no sense.”

 

“A circle is a natural expression of nature; when something traumatic occurs, nature fortifies itself in this way. The center, where the stone landed, is the point of influence or trauma. The ripples are merely a reaction. When human beings do it, it’s usually because whatever is in the center is in need of protecting.”

 

“So, in this case, humanity is protecting it’s King and the King protects humanity.” little Dev had replied.

 

“That’s essentially the way a monarchy is intended to function.”

 

“The King seems like a really nice person, then. I’ll be sure to thank him when I’m in the military police.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

 

“Hey, Grisha? The Walls...is the King aware that it looks like a really big target?”

 

A strange smile had crept across Grisha’s face; one that didn’t show teeth but reached a light in his eyes anyway. “That,” he’d said, “is a very interesting question. Someday I hope to know the answer myself.”

 

“Maybe you can invite him to your wedding and ask him!”

 

Grisha exhaled. “I doubt the King would want to attend my wedding. He’s very busy protecting the realm and his spheres of influence.”

 

Returning to reality, Devlin led her horse through the gate at Trost with her squad following behind. Grisha had met Carla and had instantly fallen for her, Dev remembered. They were like two birds standing on a branch, ready to fly for the first time...only the branch was the outermost wall of Shiganshina. For Dev, a happy memory, though bittersweet. She never knew what happened to Grisha once Shiganshina fell, and now his words echoed through her mind as though it were the only thought she were allowed to have.

 

She delivered the documents to Hannes who met her on the opposite side of the gate. He’d tried to convince her to join the Garrison, but had known he didn’t stand much of a chance of convincing her. She’d be lying if she said that nothing had changed between them when she became an MP, but being around Hannes still made her think of home. He’d agreed to have the documents prepared for her in the morning, had remarked that she’d looked healthy and was glad of it, and she’d gone on her way to the Boarshead Inn to spend some time drowning her thoughts in a beer stein.

 

All she could think about, though, were the ripples made by that stone and the wide world that existed beyond the outermost Wall. It awoke in her like a longing, the way some people must feel about other people. Longing. Craving. Desire. It was much deeper than anything she’d felt before, though she’d never attempted any romantic human relationships. The wild had settled into her heart, and a seed of doubt she’d long forgotten had found growth.

 

Spheres of influence. She needed to escape them.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance if you're reading at this point and want your life back. Otherwise, feel free to join me in the next chapter, in which some familiar faces make a return!


	4. Feather Fall: Devil's Dance Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Squad has a Squabble: Round one, ding ding. If you're going to make an ass of yourself, might as well do it directly in front of the Recon Corps higher ups for extra embarrassment factor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Erwin Smith is one smooth son of a bitch. 
> 
> That is all.

**_Devil’s Dance Floor_ **

 

“Hey Dev, you looking into the future or something? You’ve been staring into your beer for ten minutes. Maybe longer.” Colin slid into the booth next to her.

 

“Huh? Oh. Wow, I guess I really spaced out for a minute there.” she took a drink.

 

“No, it was like ten minutes. Many more than just one. How about this, I race you to the bottom of the glass and then you dance with me for ten more? The band is just getting warmed up and we’ve got to put them to shame here.” Colin’s cheeks were already red from drink, and his green eyes glowed with mischief.

 

“Tell you what. I’ll race you to the bottom of my glass versus you to the bottom of your own, and if you can keep up with Elfrieda’s dancing for ten minutes, I’ll throw in a slow dance from me.” Dev grinned.

 

Colin’s eyes shot open more widely than she thought possible. Dev never danced. Not anymore. Not since they joined the military, anyway. He scrambled up out of the booth and began to down his beer in agreement. Dev picked up her beer and threw it back, not to be outdone. Colin slammed his stein down a mere matter of seconds before Dev, but he flashed her a boyish grin as he backed away wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

 

“See you soon!” he called, his voice rang with mirth as he lifted Elf into his arms and twirled her around once. The girl was surprised, and couldn’t help but laugh. Elfrieda hated dancing with her boots on, so they were often the first things to come off just after her long coat. With the aid of alcohol and a little excitement, even Colin found some rhythm in his step. Dev watched them both from her booth as the alcohol slowly found it’s way to her head.

 

Ailish slid from her seat to get a refill, and Heinrich had his eyes on the crowd, ever-watchful. Lightning flashed in every window of the tavern, and the door was thrown open to reveal four figures in green cloaks as they piled in out of the rain. Dev watched them a moment as they seated themselves at a table and ordered their first round. As they removed their rain gear, she recognized the three from the road earlier, with the addition of their Commander. All four were absolutely soaked.

 

Dev quickly turned her head so as not to make eye contact with any of them, only to have Heinrich pull her onto the dance floor to join Elf and Colin.

 

By this point, Elf had loosened all of her braids and her long gold hair spun around her like a dervish as she danced circles around Colin. There was just no keeping up with her, but bless him, Colin was trying. No one had bothered to explain to him that he should dance or he should drink, but not at the same time. By the time the thought registered with Dev to remind him, Colin had already deposited his drink all over Moblit.

 

“AhhhH!!!!” the scout got to his feet quickly, doing his best to wipe the cold beverage off his lap. All three of his companions held up their napkins to him in response, no one stupid enough to try and dry his lap off directly.

 

Elfrieda, sensing that Colin had fucked something up, twirled over to the group to investigate. When she realized what he’d done, she grabbed him by the ear.

 

“Colin! We don’t water the Scouts! They won’t get any taller!”

 

“I didn’t do anything! He’s a Scout; he probably pissed himself!”

 

“Oh yeah? Why’s your beer gone?”

 

“....maybe he drank it and then he pissed it out!”

 

“Apologize!” Elf put her hands on her hips, inebriated but still very aware that Colin had just insulted her most favorite of Scouts. Colin turned to Moblit and wavered a little bit, pointing a finger at him.

 

“I...am SO sorry you pissed yourself.” he tried.

 

“Yeah, yeah. You owe me a beer.” Moblit commented dryly, wiping his pants with napkins.

 

“Do not. You owe ME one. Since you drank it and pissed it all away!” Colin’s face grew more red than it should have. Elf slid herself between the two of them protectively.

 

“Colin have a seat please, before I put you there. You’re making a right arse of yourself and I’d rather you not make a scene.”

 

“No, it’s alright. I know he’s just drunk.” Moblit tried.

 

“Tell your boyfriend I’m not drunk.” Colin sniffed.

 

And then the rest of the Survey Corps was on their feet. Hanji spoke first. “ I think we can all agree whichever kind of accident it was, it was one. Why don’t we all order another round and kick our feet up a while. What do you say?”

 

“The fuck did you say to me?!” Elfrieda gripped Colin by the leg straps of his harness and flipped him onto his ass. “I don’t take orders from you, Colin. Let me remind you where your ass is actually located so you stop trying to speak with it.”

 

Levi took his seat again and picked up his mug of tea, watching the MP scuffle with a front row view. “Dinner AND a show.”

Moblit was, frankly, stunned that this wild looking faery just manhandled a belligerent ginger. “I’ll uh...just..run upstairs and change and I’ll be right back.”

 

Hanji walked over and stood between Elf and Colin. “So, what do you say, blondie? Can we get a round on the MP tonight?”

 

“Absolutely.” Elf gritted through her teeth. “If he gives you any shit, you let me know.”

 

Dev finally managed to break away and run over to her subordinates. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

 

From the floor, Colin groaned. “Something stupid I think. Expect less?”

 

“No. I always expect more. So help me you’ll be doing paperwork for a week. Is this really how you behave in front of our colleagues? Like a petulant child completely incapable of harnessing their own emotions?”

 

“Some would say that expressing their actual emotions isn’t a bad thing. We wouldn’t want to repress ourselves, would we Squad Leader?” There was no shortness of bitterness in the redhead’s voice. Something in her snapped. Dev heard the familiar roar of rage in her ears, and she found herself completely powerless to stop herself from speaking.

 

“Oh. Is that what this is about? My life choices? You want to make this personal, Colin McCarthy? I’m not in the mood to stoop all the way to the floor to get on your level, but while you’re down there…” she stamped her foot down on his ribcage hard enough to knock the wind out of him but not enough to break a rib. She pressed her weight onto him. “If you EVER speak that way to me again in public I dunnae care where you come from or who yer ma was but I will send you right back to her in the manner she dropped you off!!”

 

Across the room, Heinrich dropped his beer and his jaw. Dev was so angry she couldn’t pry her focus away from the fact that she was crushing her friend. She didn’t notice that she was being lifted off the ground, or that she was being restrained by strong arms. When she realized what was happening, she’d been pulled into the booth with the Scouts. Erwin Smith was blocking her escape route. On the other side of the table, Hanji’s glasses caught in the firelight, and Levi calmly sipped his tea.

 

Elfrieda helped Colin to his feet, not entirely sure what just happened or why. Their squad was frequently physical with one another; they fought for sport but never for keeps. Dev had crossed the line, and she was only just beginning to realize it.

 

“Keep your slow dance, bitch. I’ll do the paperwork for Dawk later.” Colin and his wounded pride were escorted upstairs by a bewildered Elf. His words hit Dev like a runaway horse cart, but she could not...would not cry in front of these people. MP don’t cry. They don’t make mistakes.

She made a mistake. She wanted out. Everywhere she looked was a wall or watchful eyes. There was no way to the door without trying to go through Commander Smith, and she’d have better luck wrestling a bull.

 

Hanji was the first to speak again. “So, that was interesting. In fact you’re all very, very interesting. First, though, are you alright?”

 

She tried to speak, but all she could do was shake her head “no”. Then “yes.”

 

“You realize those are two different answers, Shoughnessy.”

 

She nodded.

 

“Can I get you some water?”

 

She nodded again as Hanji left the table to procure a glass of water, leaving her alone with Levi and Erwin. She closed her eyes and tried to be invisible.

 

At last, Erwin spoke. “The only thing more interesting to me than an Ackerman is someone from outside the walls.”

 

Dev felt all of the blood rush from her face. Her mouth went dry. “Is that so? I imagine that would be interesting.”

 

“Where are you from?” Erwin continued, quietly.

 

“Shiganshina.” she stated.

 

“Ah. So you must be one of the ones Keith was telling me about. And I thought you’d be dead by now.” he paused. “ I don’t mean to be rude, I’m Erwin Smith. Commander of the Recon Corps.” He offered a handshake. She shook his hand out of respect.

 

“Devlin Shoughnessy. Squad Leader. Otherwise not as interesting as you.”

 

“I beg to differ.”

 

“I don’t imagine you’ve ever begged in your life, sir.”

 

Levi hid a smirk in his teacup. “Erwin, no sense giving this girl the third degree. Let her calm down and she can handle her own squad. That’s her job. I probably would have done the same thing.” His eyes flashed at her.

 

“So uh… am I being detained?” the irony of her question did not escape her.

“Do you think you should be?” Hanji answered.

 

“No. I don’t think Scouts have the authority to do that. I’m an MP. You guys are essentially snacks or crazy people.”

 

To her surprise, Erwin laughed. “Right enough, but we’ve got vision and you’re trapped with no way out. Where would you rather be?”

 

Dev looked around the tavern, weighing the situation. Ailish was talking to a blonde woman at the bar. Heinrich was procuring a round of beer for the Survey Corps. She exhaled.

 

“I don’t know. But I don’t think Nile will be happy you’re talking to me like this.”

 

“Nile? He’s never happy. God knows why.” Erwin responded.

 

“He once told me that the best gift he’d ever given me was to protect me from exposure to you.” Dev retorted.

 

Erwin laughed so hard, Levi cracked a confused expression.

 

“I don’t know what’s so funny!” she drank from her newly refilled beer, glancing up at Heinrich like a caged animal. He shook his head and gave her a half smile. Good. He wasn’t angry.

 

“So why don’t you tell me about Shiganshina?”

 

“It’s in ruins. What’s to tell.”

 

“You knew Grisha Jaeger?”

 

“Sure did.”

 

Erwin Smith’s eyes caught the firelight, glinting at her. She suddenly felt exposed. Vulnerable. “Interesting. So, it seems you’ve lost your dance partner for the evening. Mind if I cut in?”

 

“Beg pardon?”

 

“May I have this dance?” he continued, smile still on his face.

 

“He’s not really asking. Just dance with the man. I’ve never seen it happen and I’m not sure he actually can. You’d be doing me a favor.” Levi spoke over his teacup. Hanji nodded, pretending not to be amused.

 

Erwin stood and offered a hand to her. She hesitated, knowing she was stepping outside the ring of her comfort zone. She was an MP. Why did she have to keep reminding herself she was an MP? The faint waft of cigar smoke breezed by her and she reacted by taking his hand and being led to the dance floor. She tried to quiet her pounding heart. Anyone in her situation would probably have trouble keeping focus and struggle with their nerves as they danced with the Commander of the Survey Corps. Not Devlin. She looked around the room again, scanning the crowd the way a cat follows the unseen with their eyes.

 

“Something wrong?” he asked.

 

“Cigar smoke again.” she answered automatically. Moblit returned to his seat with a pair of fresh, clean trousers.

 

“Are you sensitive to cigar smoke?”

 

“Not until today.” she looked up at him, fully comprehending her situation. He held her close to his chest so that only the two of them could hear what they were saying. He was trying to gather information from her and she knew it. No two crystal blue eyes or killer jawline could distract her from that cold fact. She could pretend it wasn’t true for a moment...allow herself a single moment of feeling wanted. Attractive. But then it would be over, and she’d go back to pretending like she had her whole life.

 

“Interesting.”

 

“You say that a lot.”

 

“You speak a lot of words without saying anything.”

 

“I haven’t danced since Shiganshina fell.”

 

“Well, I have no intention of letting you fall.”

 

“As if I would.” Ah, there was her stubbornness.

 

“You tell me what you remember about your home, and I’ll answer any questions you might want to know.” He wasn’t joking.

 

“Why should I trust you?”

 

“Because I’m not the Military Police. I work for people. I give my life to aid their survival. I hear their voices and their struggles, and I try to eliminate the struggles that I can.” he continued.

 

“I’m not a fool. You think I have information you can use, and you don’t regard me as anything other than a means to that end. Humanity. Please.”

 

“You do have information I can use, and until you resign and denounce your humanity I would use it to help you.”

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

 

“Alright. But I will keep in touch with you. I have a feeling you’ll be needing support. Allies that aren’t in the Military Police in the future. You already have shadows following you around, and I know you know that.”

 

She blinked her eyes in surprise. “Do you know who they are?”

 

“‘They’ could be a lot of people, and a few people I desperately hope they are not. I’m not one to let things go easily once I’ve discovered them. I need you to understand that there are too many unknowns that can kill us all, and the more blanks I can fill in the more effective I can be.”

 

“Sounds like your problem more than mine.”

 

He caught her face gently in his hand, leaned close to her ear and whispered. “ I am no one. At the end of the day, your choices are all you have. I represent that reality; the freedom to make these choices. Without hope, we have nothing. We fade into the meaningless ages without a single stone monument to mark our existence. While we live, we only have choices and hope that we’ve made the right ones. Freedom is our birthright.”

 

She froze, considering his words. She could smell the rain in his hair, the light scent of petrichor and forest pine. She caught Heinrich’s eyes across the room as he raised his eyebrow at her and took a long drink from his stein. She swallowed hard, and spoke quietly.

 

“I understand.”

 

“We will talk again.” He resumed his dance with her, and bowed lightly when it was over. “I leave you to your evening. Thank you for the beer, the entertainment, and the company.”

 

Completely unsure of what to do in this situation, she saluted him dizzily. He rejoined his company at the table. Levi pulled a flask from somewhere below the table and poured it into his tea generously. Hanji laughed uproariously at something Moblit said. Dev couldn’t really hear. She headed up the stairs to try and locate Colin to apologize.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the plot thickens. Tragedy strikes, and Dev finds assistance in the places she rather wished didn't help her.


	5. Feather Fall: The Worst Day Since Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes, and Dev tries to hold her squad together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If blood squicks you out, you might want to skip this chapter...but I gotta say, how did you get this far with Shingeki no Kyojin if it does? SnK uses blood like Ouran High School Host Club uses flower petals. Good luck!

**_The Worst Day Since Yesterday_ **

 

Dev had trouble locating Colin that evening. He was probably avoiding her, but she wasn’t able to sleep while she was still angry with someone. She lay in her bed, facing the ceiling and trying to sort her thoughts.

 

No amount of tossing and turning or moving her blankets around seemed to open the gateway to sleep, so eventually she climbed out of bed and began writing a letter. Getting the words down on paper wasn’t what she’d hoped for, but it was something. She figured that starting off with “I’m sorry” and working her way from there was the best way to go.

 

She’d only been writing for an hour to the soft sounds of rain when she heard soft knocks on her door. She walked to her things and pulled back the hammer on her pistol, just in case, before cracking the door. The hall was dark, but she could see a familiar outline crowned with fiery red hair. She opened her door for him, but he didn’t move.

 

“Colin? You can come in.” she gestured.

 

“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. You shouldn’t have stepped on me either.” he said quietly.

 

“Right on both counts. I haven’t been able to sleep a wink because of it. Please come in so we can talk?” she opened her door more widely, the candle on her desk casting some light onto his face. He was pale and sweaty, and she immediately began to worry.

 

“I really am sorry, Dev. I want to accept it, but I can’t. I just can’t.” and with that, he collapsed against her. She caught him and dragged him into her room. He’d gone limp and heavy, and she realized that he was wet with rain as she laid him on her bed.

 

“Colin what did you do? What is wrong wi--” she pulled her hand away revealing a dark layer of blood on her hand, thick enough to begin running down her wrist. She immediately reacted, searching him for wounds, removing his jacket, his harness and desperately trying to locate the source of the blood. Was it his or someone else’s? What had he done? She felt her own blood turn to ice as she realized that he was bleeding from a wound in his back, just between his shoulder blade and his spine. Someone had even gone to the trouble of lightly slicing a wing pattern on his left side, but the real wound was the stab wound near his spine. It was amazing he was even able to walk.

 

Dev screamed. She didn’t care if she woke the entire Inn up. Colin was hers. He was her responsibility. And she loved him. Always had. She hadn’t allowed herself to take things any further than that, to his dismay. She wasn’t sure if they were related, and there was no way to prove it. Romance just holds you back, she’d said. He was family.

 

And he was bleeding to death in her arms, in the dark, with nary a clue as to why.

 

She was very surprised to see Levi appear in her doorway first. He was still wearing his uniform, but he’d brought a lantern. He looked around her room and seemed satisfied that she and Colin were the only ones in the room. Dev was helpless.

 

“ I don’t know what happened. Someone stabbed him. Here. I can’t stop the bleeding. I don’t understand what’s happening. Help me. Help.” Her mind became a blur, and she suddenly felt numb and limp. So much blood. Not again. Unbidden, another memory flashed in her mind: the scent of blood, a woman’s face twisted in horror as her shoulder was pulled from her body. She gagged into the crook of her arm, trying not to get blood too near to her face.

 

Levi acted without hesitation. He was already tearing off the remainder of Colin’s shirt and holding pressure points that seemed to stop the outward flow of blood. “So are you alright?” he asked, his tone far calmer than she could ever have managed.

 

She tried to nod, but shook her head no.

 

“You do that a lot. You’re not alright. I get it. Hold this here and press. We need to treat him for shock, so make sure he stays warm. Lay next to him and pile on some blankets. I’ll be back with bandages and water. Can you do that?”

 

She nodded at him and laid down with Colin, pushing her body against his and covering herself with blankets, applying pressure where Levi had instructed. She could do that. Lay still, stay warm. Press spot. She was now covered in blood and trying to put it out of her mind, but her mind was occupied with the same thoughts. A woman’s face. Tearing limbs. Massive jaws. Colin. Tiny little Colin was laying next to her, just as they had before. His breathing was ragged and pained now, not like back then.

 

Completely numb with confusion, she lay her head against him. “You stay with me, you hear? I’ll not be having this.” His hair smelled like rain and cigar smoke. His clothing smelled like cigar smoke. Everything smelled like blood and terror.

 

Levi returned a moment later with Heinrich and Hanji, who were able to treat Colin’s wounds as best they could. Moblit arrived not long after to take Colin to the infirmary. Devlin held his hand the entire time, silent prayers on her tongue. When Colin had gone, and Heinrich had retired back to his room, only Levi remained.

 

“Thank you, Captain.” her voice was barely a whisper.

 

“Snacks or crazy people, you said?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Hope makes you crazy, that’s for sure. I don’t want to lie and tell you he’ll be fine. That wound was deep. He’ll be out of commission for a while if he survives it. I’ve seen a hell of a lot worse, though.”

 

“He isn’t allowed to die.”

 

“That’s the one thing we all must do.”

 

“You’ve been with Erwin too long.”

 

“Maybe I have. Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

 

The silence was palpable.

 

“Did he say what happened?” If Dev didn’t know any better, she could swear Levi sounded a little apprehensive.

 

“No. He just apologized and fell over.”

 

“Apologized for what? Earlier?”

 

“Yeah. I have no idea who would do anything like this to him.”

 

“Well it wasn’t us, so don’t go getting any wild ideas.”

 

“I know that. Somehow.”

 

“You need a bath. You’re disgusting.” Levi indicated the front of his shirt and nodded at her.

 

“I...yes. I’ll do that now. Thank you again, Captain.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” and with that, Levi left the room and abandoned Devlin to her racing thoughts. Morning wouldn’t come soon enough.

 

 


	6. Feather Fall: If I Ever Leave This World Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Squad makes every attempt to improve Colin's condition, while Ailish continues to pin blame on the Scouts. All of this occurs the morning in which Trost 'receives a grim reminder', and the Colossal Titan makes his second known appearance.

_**If I Ever Leave This World Alive** _

 

The morning was bright and crisp, with no sign whatsoever that the previous evening had been a stormy one. Dev dressed quickly, playing scenes from the night before over in her head. The plan was simple: breakfast, then to the Infirmary to go see Colin and pray he survived the night.

 

She packed her things quickly and descended the stairs to the bar area. Someone had tried to clean up the blood trail as best they could, but didn’t do the greatest job. Dev set her things down in an empty booth and followed the missed blood drops out the front door into the street, then down half a block to HQ. It stopped abruptly in an alley directly across from the training hall; what little dirt there was on the ground seemed to point to three or four pairs of boots of various sizes. The proximity to military HQ cast a glaring suspicion on her thoughts. Whoever had attacked Colin had known he was an MP for certain, but the location of the attack itself made her angry. Attacking the King’s Guard was extremely ballsy, and to do so this close to the eyes of every branch was insulting. It was attempted murder with military motive, but what?

 

She rushed back to find her remaining squad mates at the table with her things, all looking as weary and haggard as she felt. Elf was glooping oatmeal with her spoon and dropping it back into the bowl. Ailish was already drinking. Heinrich was further mutilating a pile of scrambled eggs.

 

“Hi.” Dev said, dropping herself into a seat.

 

“How is he?” Ailish asked over her stein.

 

“Bad. I haven’t seen him this morning, so we’re all going to find out.” she took a bite of bread. “I did some investigating, though. Followed a trail to it’s end, and I think this is a military problem far less than it is a personal problem. I guess someone saw an MP alone, or they lured him or something, and attacked him.”

 

“What did they do to him?” Elf asked.

 

“They stabbed him and...kindof scratched a wing onto his back.” she swallowed.

 

“Scouts.” Ailish stated.

 

“Not likely. That’s too obvious. Probably someone wanted to pin it on the Scouts and hoped it would push them further out of favor.” Heinrich spoke up.

 

“Ok, but isn’t it a little weird that Colin picked a fight with the highest ranking Scouts in the area and wound up with their symbol carved into his back? Maybe it was an attack of opportunity, but couldn’t it just as easily be some Scouts stationed in the area took issue with Colin manhandling their bosses?” Ailish continued.

 

“At least two of them stayed up with me helping patch him back together. I was...kindof useless in that situation.” She felt her embarrassment grow. “I tried but...I started getting this barrage of memories I didn’t want. I thought they were gone.”

 

“So, two of them were definitely awake at the time of the attack is what you’re saying.” Ailish drank more.

 

“It wasn’t them, Ailish. Besides there wasn’t a single blood spatter on either of them. If Colin survives, we have them to thank.”

 

“What memories?” Heinrich pushed some egg around his plate with a piece of toast.

 

“I’m not sure, actually. Something happened. I think before Shiganshina. We were so little. I watched a woman die. Colin was laying next to me and he wasn’t moving.” Dev quieted a little, struggling to describe this in a way that wouldn’t wake any memories in the others.

 

Elfrieda looked at her. “Do you remember anything else?”

 

“I remember some scenery. Wagons. I remember seeing a large body of water that couldn’t possibly have been a lake. I remember families.”

 

Heinrich watched her, and gripped her hand under the table. “That’s a lot to deal with in one night.”

 

“So, let’s go see Colin and tell him he has to get better or I’ll drink his beer every day until he does.” Elfrieda slid her empty oatmeal bowl forward and hopped over the table.

 

Ailish sighed and followed her, attaching her 3dmg. Before long, the entire squad was kitted out and headed towards the infirmary. The benefits of being an MP are many, but when you walk into a crowd, the crowd moves to let you pass. A simple glance cows the average villager, a scowl earns you free wares. It’s a good life, really. Dev couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with anyone this morning.

 

Elf reached the door first and held it open for the others. Devlin was surprised to find two other MPs at the reception area, one of which was familiar but she could not place. Ailish walked past and greeted the familiar blonde female MP, asking if they’d been assigned to investigate Colin’s assault. Dev had other things on her mind, and so she was escorted to Colin’s bedside.

 

He still looked pale, but he was breathing regularly and appeared to be in a comfortable sleep. Dev pulled the blankets up around him and held his hand.

 

“Hey, you.” she spoke to her unconscious comrade. “You’re the toughest bastard I’ve ever known, and you’re going to get through this you hear?”

 

Her squad joined her in the room. It wasn’t the first time one of them had been hospitalized, but it was the first of them to have been brought here on such suspicious circumstances. Of all of those other instances, Colin’s condition was the most serious.

 

“He was lucky. His lung was not pierced.” a silver-haired nurse joined them. “ Whoever cleaned his wounds did him a favor. Right now his biggest danger is secondary infection. He hasn’t had a fever since he’s been in, and we’ve given him painkillers to help him sleep.”

 

“He certainly always had been lucky when it mattered.” Ailish agreed. “Any idea what sort of weapon was used?”

 

“Based upon the size and depth of entry, all signs point to knife wound,” the nurse continued. “I expect that someone was very familiar with the weapon and with anatomy to have intentionally kept him from bleeding out instantly. They knew which areas to avoid, and were dextrous enough to provide some artwork. That will probably leave a scar.”

 

“Did you hear that, Colin?” Dev spoke to the sleeping man. “You are going to have a real badass scar. One winged angel or something. I can’t wait for you to get sunburn.”

 

Elfrieda covered her mouth to mask her expression, but she’d already begun tearing up. “You’ll be ok. I will it.”

 

“He did lose a lot of blood.” the nurse continued.

 

“We have the same blood. You can take mine and give it to him.” Elf continued.

 

“That won’t be necessary.We have more than enough plasma available.”

 

“I insist. Do it.” Elfrieda took a seat and rolled her sleeve up.

 

“It might make you dizzy…” the nurse wasn’t sure how else to refuse the girl’s enthusiasm.

 

“So what? I’d rather be dizzy than him dead.”

 

“...Alright. But I need the rest of you to step out for a while.”

 

Dev looked at Colin’s sleeping face, reluctant to leave him. “If it will help, I’ll go.” She squeezed Colin’s hand and left the room with the other two squad members.

 

“I’ve never seen Elf so earnest.” Ailish spoke up as they settled into the waiting area.

 

“Well, I’m not the only one that probably played last night’s little fight over in her head all night.” Dev answered. “She’s probably feeling as bad as I am about the whole thing.”

 

“Yeah. I mean Colin can be an ass; she really ought to ease up on the guilty conscience thing.”

 

“I think she’s just not ready to see anyone else die if she can help it.” Heinrich spoke up.

“No one is ready for Colin to die. Especially under such circumstances. I still think it’s really suspicious.” Ailish took a seat by the window.

 

“It is suspicious. Someone definitely had it in for us, or just the MP.” Dev affirmed. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window and was shocked to see how very tired she looked. Her hair was wavy from sleeping with it wet, her eyes were dark with sleep loss. Her normally bright, freckled complexion was flattened. The light had gone out of her somehow.

 

“I’m telling you. Those Scouts are still the number one suspects in my book. I heard all kinds of stories about that Levi character. Heard he came from the underground with a bunch of thugs. Knife fights are kindof a specialty of his. The guy has incredible control and dexterity with a blade.”

 

“Ailish, I really don’t think it was him. We really don’t have any room to judge people based upon where they came from.” Dev was trying not to be annoyed.

 

“I have excellent knife fighting skills, too, and no one can vouch for my whereabouts during the time Colin was attacked. Are you going to accuse me also?” Heinrich challenged.

 

“Of course not, Heinrich. You can hardly compare yourself to a thug.”

 

“But that’s what I am. I’m an MP of mysterious origin. Our memories may be scattered, but I know full well what I’m capable of.” Heinrich continued.

 

“But you’re not a thug. You don’t hurt people like that. I don’t think you have it in you. I mean, I’m not even sure I have it in me to hurt another human being, much less make an attempt on their life.” Ailish argued.

 

“But I could if I had to. If it came down to it, between me and someone else, I would choose myself. I would absolutely protect myself. Are you saying you wouldn’t do the same?”

 

“I’m honestly not sure what I would do. I can’t imagine myself pulling a blade or a trigger on another human being.” Ailish looked like she was really thinking about this. “Even if someone asked me to. Ordered me to.”

 

“Maybe you’re in the wrong line of work. We serve the King. Sometimes we have to get our hands dirty.” Heinrich crossed his arms.

 

“I know. Serving the King is the right thing to do. I know it. Maybe that day will come when I’ll have to choose, and I hope that I make the right choice.” Ailish quieted, as did the rest of the room.

 

Erwin’s words haunted Dev’s thoughts. The Scouts represented that choice in many ways. The choice to serve the will of one man, or the greater human race. Which is correct? Can such a heavy choice be left up to the whims and calculations of one person?

 

There was a sudden burst of intense light, and for a moment the street outside glowed green and yellow, followed by a rumble of thunder. It hadn’t looked like rain, Dev thought. It rained everything out last night. There was something peculiar about the thunder; it continued rumbling. Paintings on the wall shook and fell. Bottles of medicine and glasses of water crashed to the floor.

 

“What in the hell was THAT?!” Ailish was on her feet in a moment and ran outside. The familiar sound of cables and small combustion engine followed as she zipped to a rooftop to investigate, leaving the door to the second floor of hq wide open. Dev and Heinrich followed tightly on her heels. All three of them stood on the roof of hq and beheld the only visible source of the commotion.

 

It was a titan; skinless and massive, producing it’s own cloud of steam, and it was looking down at them from above the outermost wall of the city. Dev was utterly frozen in place. Heinrich fell to his knees in complete shock. Titans were big. They were never THAT big.

 

Ailish started shouting “Shoot it! Someone shoot it! Oh my god what in the fuck is THAT?!”

 

From his knees, Heinrich muttered “It took out the cannons. Oh merciful God, why? Why is it showing intelligence? Those are cadets over there! Someone needs to help them!”

 

Ailish, ever fearless, shot her cables off towards the beast. “I’ll shoot its eyes out!!”

 

A moment later, the nightmare worsened as the massive titan kicked through the otherwise stalwart gate of Trost. Debris rained down on the city. Ailish dodged wood and stone before halting her advance. As soon as it had appeared, the colossal titan disappeared.

 

All Dev could think about was Shiganshina, finally comprehending the terror that her childhood home must have faced before their inevitable demise. Trost had an evacuation plan; she knew this somewhere in the back of her mind. Those survivors though, if any, would be in the graduating class of cadets if they’d joined. She shuddered to think of it. If she’d witnessed this when she was their age, what would she have done?

 

“We have to get Colin out of here. Now.” Dev finally found her voice. “Ailish! I did not authorize an advance! Get back here now and help us move Colin to safety! Trost is under immediate evacuation orders. Let those trained to handle it do what they’re here to do. Things are about to get really hairy and we need to go.”

 

Elfrieda dizzily joined them on the rooftop. “Hey guys, I heard a commotion. What’s going on?”

 

Heinrich nodded to the destroyed gate, a gaping wound in the wall that was filling with lumbering shadows.

 

“Holy...Wall…” Elf managed, not realizing what she’d said. “It’s just like five years ago. We’ve got to get out of here.” She ran off as quickly as she appeared to explain the situation to the nurses.

 

Dev and Heinrich could not tear their eyes away from the titans emerging through the hole. Ravenous, quicker than they looked, unpredictable. Titans were the one thing they had hoped to avoid by joining the MP, and here they were.

 

“We need to retreat back to Stohess immediately.” Dev stated. “We can’t waste any time.” She pulled Heinrich to his feet and pulled him along behind her. As they walked back through the doorway, she stepped directly into two young men. One had an unusual two toned undercut and was rather tall for a cadet. The other had freckles like her own, and similarly dark hair to boot. It was the dark haired young man who spoke first.

 

“Oh! You’re...you’re both MP’s! I...wow.” the other starry eyed young man saluted. Undercut’s face reddened from embarrassment, having clunked heads with the people he idolized.

 

“Sorry..I uh..What my friend here is trying to say is we hope you’ll save us a place when we’re MP’s.” Undercut saluted, his expression sliding towards pride. “And also, is Operation Colossal Titan Response in effect?”

 

Dev assumed an idiot had named the operation, and she still believed that. “If the Colossal Titan has appeared, what do you think the obvious response should be?”

 

“Of course, sir. Ma’am. I knew that. We’ll get right on that. Marco, let’s go.”

 

“Right...yes. Don’t worry, we’re trained for exactly this situation.” Marco agreed with a nervous smile. Ailish joined the two of them, realizing that getting angry at a disappearing titan wouldn’t solve anything. She couldn’t punch an invisible titan in the face.

 

“Yes. Of course you are.” Heinrich offered. “Oh...and cadets?”

 

The two had just turned to go and paused. “Yeah?” Undercut asked, eyeing Ailish at her arrival.

 

“Please be careful. Don’t take any stupid risks. Safety first; stay alive.” Heinrich continued.

 

“Don’t worry, sir.” Undercut grinned. “Stupid is my--er...Safety is my middle name.”

 

“Really, Jean?” Marco shook his head.

 

“Uhh..look. Trial by fire is what we do. See you later. You can count on it.” Jean and Marco saluted the MP threesome and ran off down the hall, trying to convince the fear to leave their eyes and voices and prepare for the bitter fight ahead.

 

“They’re really just...kids.” Ailish said quietly.

Heinrich nodded, grimly. “A lot of people are going to die today. I’m not going to be one of them. We don’t have orders to be here; we have orders to get back. Let’s hitch up a carriage and get out of here now. Now.”

 

Elf reappeared in front of them. “ I am so far ahead of you it isn’t even funny. They’re evacuating the infirmary. Colin’s ready to go. Even more fun, he’s kindof awake. I don’t want him to see any titans in this state though, so we should move.”

 

Dev was still a bit high on adrenaline and fear. The air felt strange; palpable, colder than it did earlier somehow. Probably from the massive hole in the gate. “Elf’s right. Let’s move. We can talk about our ‘feelings’ once we get out of here. We make for Stohess.”

 

And so, the squad was able to evacuate quickly through Wall Rose and rode all day and into early evening before they finally made it to Stohess District.

 

For her part, Dev nearly collapsed on Nile’s doorstep just after dinner time sans the paperwork he’d been hoping for..but infinitely more information than he’d known he needed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter what...7? Coming soon.


	7. Feather Fall: Us of Lesser Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devlin and Nile discuss their next moves...and why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy wow. I didn't expect anyone to actually like what I'm doing, so I hope I'm not letting anyone down. D: 
> 
> More on the way, but thank you for all of your support! Thank you for not shouting at me!

_Us of Lesser Gods_

 

“The day I had today is worth at least three unicorn points.” Dev was halfway through her beer, sitting across from Nile in the privacy of his home study.

 

“I told you, I refuse to recognize unicorn points as actual currency.” Nile continued writing his report regarding Colin’s attack and the attack on Trost. What he knew, anyway.

 

Throughout the day, there had been further reports. The attack had been timed suspiciously; with the Scouting Legion out on a mission, leaving only the Garrison and the Cadets to handle to onslaught. To make things even more complicated, it seems that this Colossal Titan was a person in titan clothing, able to control it at will as an extension of themselves. This was discovered because one of the cadets was also evidently possessed of the ability to transform into a Titan. The difference between the two at this point appeared to be that one made a hole and ruined some lives, and the other plugged it and saved the day.

 

And it seems no one has any real idea what to do with the titan kid that happens to be in the military. There would be a trial, for sure, but until this moment no one had even had a notion that titan transformation was possible. Now, not only was it possible, but it wrecked parts of Trost and caused a metric ton of paperwork. And of course, two of the three military branches were already trying to make plans regarding what to do with the titan kid.

 

Nile’s office was going to be overrun in the next few days.

 

“So, Dev. You met Erwin Smith in Trost?” he looked up from his book to gauge her reaction.

 

“I did.”

 

“..And?”

 

“And what? He’s a strange guy I guess. Taller than I expected.” Dev had no idea what he was getting at.

 

“He didn’t tell you anything...unusual or somewhat off, did he?”

 

“Everything that man says seems to fall into that category, but it somehow all makes perfect sense at the time.”  she remembered, recalling his cryptic speech during their dance.

 

“His logic appeals to a certain kind of person; one with a very different profession than the one you have.”  Nile was caught between two emotions it seemed: sarcasm and bitterness.

 

“Not so different,” she mused. “ I think a rebellious nature and a desire to right a wrong are good things for a person to possess. Someone has to try and regain what we lost even if it’s a dangerous job; THAT also appeals to a certain kind of person. He’s very brave.”

 

Nile carefully placed his pen down and closed the book of papers he was writing in. He studied Dev’s face for a moment before responding.

 

“He is. But Devlin, we can’t all throw our lives on the line for humanity’s survival. If everyone were dead, that isn’t survival. We’d lose by default. Everyday people living their lives are also important to humanity’s survival. They ensure that there is something worth protecting and worth fighting for, because there would otherwise be no reason to fight. It is easy to suggest that this ingratiates the common man to the brave and the bold who fight for them and forget that it is the common folk who give them purpose. Call it a lazy or selfish life if you like, but not everyone can be a hero or we wouldn’t have heroes. In the end, we are all instruments of the god of war. Many do not realize that the god of war is also the god of peace. Two sides of the same coin, just like everything else.”

 

Devlin considered him a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you express any religious belief. What would the Wallists say?”

 

“They can say whatever they like. It’s not exactly a religious belief of mine; I wouldn’t know what that would mean for me as it is. I recognize what I see in others; the words of the King, our position within the walls, the living and the dead all to be a part of the whole. If they can see god in the walls, then I can see god in other places; kindness, devotion, love, and war. I see it in the home hearth and in Erwin Smith’s ‘freedom’, even when he’s infuriating.  We’ve been at war since day one. Only in the past five years has it finally been brought to bear. This is what we’ve been waiting for since the moment we chose our positions on this chess board.”

 

“So...if we represent humanity and the monarchy and all that’s worth protecting, why must we lie so often to defend it? Is dishonesty worth being purchased with this much blood? It wasn’t just the human purge three years ago that got me thinking about it.”

 

“Sometimes, we simply can’t tell the entire truth. We strategically withhold information. Whatever keeps the peace in this town. Don’t give anyone a reason to--...” Nile trailed off, looking out his window at the glow of streetlamps.

 

“...reason to what?” Dev urged.

 

“Nothing.” he sighed out the weight of the world. “Just thinking out loud.”

 

“So, the military police could definitely use a titan ally. Wouldn’t that just piss the Recon Corps right off.” Dev grinned.

 

Nile smirked at the idea. “It would, but the people are terrified. I plan to make an offer to apprehend him and let the king decide what he wants to do.”

 

“Simple as that? Why not just let the King say so for himself?”

 

“One, I need people to see me doing my job properly and not sitting on my hands. “ Nile lit a cigarette. “ Two, the people will want to see we have things in hand and justice is done. From what I can tell, they’re piss scared of all things titan. They are the ultimate boogieman. If it weren’t for Pixis, that kid and his friends would have been a grease stain on the wall no matter how good an argument they made to be allowed to live.”

 

“So what are they doing with him? They can’t leave him to his own devices. What if he defects and goes rogue, or someone tries to take his death into their own hands?”

 

“Funny you should say that because that’s what they’ve been calling it: Eren Jaeger, the Rogue Titan.” Nile exhaled a cloud of smoke. Dev froze.

 

“I’m sorry, what did you say the kid’s name was?” she asked with urgency.

 

“Eren Jaeger. He’s from --”

 

Dev stood up quickly as she spoke. “--Shiganshina. I know. I knew his father. Nile, you can’t kill this kid and you can’t let the King kill this kid either.”

 

“I can’t tell the King what to do, and you know it.” Nile looked up at the her as she loomed over his desk.

 

“Then lie to him. I don’t care what you need to do, you cannot kill this kid. Make them believe you will. Tell the biggest and best lie you can. I need this child to live and I don’t care what I have to do, so help me, Nile.” she didn’t realize how loudly she raised her voice, but Nile never responded well to threats and he wouldn’t start now. He was on his feet pretty quickly, and he was a head taller than her.

 

“Devlin, sit down. I know you’ve had a bad day but you’re spiraling and that is no way to address your commanding officer.” His stern speech only went so far to calm her panic. She sat down out of respect, but was clearly not prepared to let the matter drop.

 

“I’m sorry. I owe a life debt to that boy’s father. You cannot kill him. I’ll adopt him. Take him into hiding until he could be useful to us. Anything. Just don’t hand him over to the King. I’ll be a witness if you want. Tell everyone you did the deed. Autopsy can get filed away where not even the scouting legion can find it. Bullshit any way you have to. Please. PLEASE. Don’t.” she was dangerously near to breaking down in front of her superior-most officer.

 

“I plan to urge Zackly to bring this military matter in front of the appropriate military court. The kid’s in the military, so a court martial it is. I’ll do everything I can to get the kid into my custody, but in Zackly’s hands this could go a number of different ways. Are you prepared to try and pry Eren away from the Scouts?”

 

“I am prepared to protect Eren Jaeger by any means necessary.” she emphasized those last four words, hitting them one at a time to drive her point home.

 

Silence settled between the two of them: the traumatized soldier and the long suffering commander.

 

“I believe you would, Dev.” he spoke quietly. “ I will do my best. I have an obligation to the people to make them feel safe from the titan threat; they aren’t going to care whose child Eren Jaeger is. His father did prevent a serious plague from wiping out large parts of the population so many years ago; there’s no telling what he might have passed on to his son. I’d like to meet the kid under less severe circumstances.”

 

“It wasn’t just the plague he saved me from.” Dev stated.

 

“Oh?”

 

“I cannot allow Eren Jaeger to be harmed, Nile. You said it yourself; humanity should be worth saving and worth the blood price others pay to keep us. I will fight anyone, even you, if I have to.” she set her jaw. She wasn’t sure when she clenched her fists, but her fingernails had cut into her palms.

 

He leaned back in his chair. “I don’t appreciate being threatened in my own house.”

 

In that moment, Nile’s wife Marie poked her head in. “Hi! I don’t mean to interrupt but you’ve got some messages. Both of you, actually. And dinner’s ready. Dev will you be staying for dinner?”

 

Dev forced a smile and swallowed down the fear in her throat. “No, thank you. Our business is concluded for the evening anyway.” She got to her feet. “Commander Dawk was just explaining how I’d be headed back to Trost tomorrow to do a little further investigation into my squadmate’s attempted murder.”

 

“Uhm, yes.” Nile agreed awkwardly, it was a good idea afterall even if it wasn’t his.

 

“Oh! In Trost? I heard that was like a warzone! Are you sure that’s a good idea? Dead people carry diseases.”

 

“Then they need as much help as the King can offer them.” Dev continued. “I’ll check in with you at hq in the morning before I leave.”

 

“You are both good people. Don’t believe anyone that says otherwise.” Marie cautioned with a smile, then ducked back out. A few moments of silence passed between the two before either decided to speak, Nile first.

 

“Why do I bother giving you orders if you’re just going to write your own?”

 

“Don’t pretend my ideas aren’t brilliant. I want to find out as much as I can, and my squad are experts at shadowing. I’ll get to the bottom of this. No one takes a bite out of the military police without punishment to the full extent of the law.” Dev couldn’t suppress a smile, knowing full well that Nile would go along with her plan and claim the idea as his own. Every time he’d done it in the past, it had gone well for him. Even earned him some accolades and a bonus ham for the holidays.

 

“Fine. But Eren Jaeger will need to face his court martial.”

 

“Be sure that he is left to our care or I will hold you personally responsible if he dies.” she meant every word. Nile’s face twisted with discomfort, but he nodded.

 

“We all have to die someday.” he offered.

 

“That’s what Levi said, too.” she said, knowing it would irk him. “I’ll see myself out. And that’s five unicorn points. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow.” he echoed as she slipped out of his office, out his front door, and down into the street.

 

He paused a moment, realizing what she’d said and ran to his window to call down to her.

“Unicorns aren’t currency!!!”

 

The only response was her laughter as she headed back to her barracks.

 

 


	8. Feather Fall: With a Wonder and a Wild Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin appears to be on the mend, and he and Dev finally get time to themselves. This otherwise happy occasion is overshadowed by the sudden involvement of Kenny's MP's in Devlin's affairs as responsibility for solving Colin's assault falls between both squads. Ailish begins working for Kenny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the last were slower due to the nature of the time it takes to hash some things out. If you're just joining us, head back to the beginning and start with Chapter one. Thanks again in advance for not shouting at me and for your support! You guys rock. 
> 
> Onward!

_With a Wonder and a Wild Desire_

 

Dev hung her coat up on the hook inside her bunk-room door. She’d nearly saved up enough cash to afford a place of her own, but for now the barracks offered a closer proximity to the infirmary where should be easily fetched if needed. She looked around and didn’t see anyone; Ailish and Elfrieda must have gone out, or were otherwise staying late with Colin. She hated that procedure took precedence over her need to spend time with him as he recovered. She cast off her boots, and solemnly removed her harness from the top down.

 

She still smelled like smoke, dust and blood. Her knuckles were scraped and her legs and rump were sore from the long and desperate ride back. It was far more excitement than she was used to. She cast off her sweaty clothes and tossed herself into her bunk, staring up at all of the papers she’d pinned to the mattress above her. Ticket stubs from traveling shows, birthday cards, congratulations from her appointment to squad leader, handwritten letters, and sketches covered nearly every inch of space above her head.

 

Among these, her eyes settled on three things: a letter from Grisha, a hand-drawn sketch an artist had done of her squad/family, and a dried clump of wild flowers that Colin had braided into a small head wreath for her years ago; the last day she’d danced with him. They discovered that day that Shiganshina had fallen to ruin, and they’d all lost their homes. Again.

 

Convinced she was alone, Dev allowed herself to cry. She touched the papers above her gingerly, like they were snowflakes that might melt if her fingers lingered on them too long. She was so lost. Eren Jaeger, the son of her saviour, might be as lost as she was soon and she’d never even met him as a teen. What was he like now? She’d only seen him as a very small boy in diapers, but he’d been born with the greenest eyes she’d seen. Well. Apart from Colin’s.

 

Her world had somehow condensed itself down to concern over green eyed boys.

 

She found a handkerchief and attempted to clean herself up. Potable water was not difficult to come by in the military police, so she prepared herself a bath. Every other step in her room was like a landmine of emotion, and she’d begin sobbing again upon a renewed memory or found object that belonged to one of her squad. Colin refused to bathe without a small wooden duck he named Quackers, and it was Quackers who stood sentinel over Dev’s bath. She desperately needed to get herself together before facing her squad, she told herself. No one expected her to be made of stone, but careless emotion could lead to poor decision making.

 

After she’d bathed, she dressed herself in a pair of brown trousers and an olive colored shirt. She pulled on a pair of soft leather shoes and armed herself with a gun and a set of long knives. For safety’s sake, she also brought along her badge denoting her rank in case she ran into trouble.

 

In the bunk above hers, Elfrieda remained stone silent and watchful, not wanting to embarrass or surprise her friend with her presence as Dev walked out the door.

 

Technically, the infirmary was closed to visitors after nine, but no one in the MP bothered to pay attention to small details like rules.  

 

She found Ailish and that blonde MP outside of Colin’s room, and it finally seemed strange enough that she decided this wasn’t a coincidence.

 

“Oi. Ailish. Who’s this?” Dev nodded to the blonde woman.

 

“She’s working on Colin’s case. She’s from the interior.” Ailish responded.

 

“We all work for the interior. Colin’s case is ours according to the commander.” Dev felt herself getting defensive, but slipped into the well worn role of MP negotiator.

 

“Ah, yes. Well then I’d be happy to share all that I know as I discover it.” the blonde woman smiled back. “I’m sure you understand that once word reaches the king’s ears about an attack on his own guard, he responds with appropriate force.”

 

“I do. Under whose orders?” Dev questioned. Nile would have warned her. It sent up warning flags in the back of her mind, but she wore the face of a considerate police officer.

 

“Ah, the King’s. Through Kenny Ackerman, who is acting as personal overseer of this case. You’re lucky to have such allies.” the blonde grinned as if she were actually proud of this. The small hairs on Dev’s neck stood up again.

 

“I am impressed that this case warranted such attention what with Trost being in the state it is.” Devlin spoke evenly, refusing to betray her apprehension.

 

“Yes, I imagine that’s why we’ve split the effort. You are going to Trost in the morning for more investigation, yes? I imagine you’ll discover all manner of things pertaining to the attack on Trost, the titan kid, and cleanup. You’ll have your hands full. Don’t worry, Devlin. I promise we’ll take good care of him. Ailish here has been assigned to us for the time being to ensure that nothing happens to Colin under our watch as personal assurance to you.”

 

“Didn’t I see you in the Boarshead last night?” Dev was slowly piecing together her memories, sifting out the trauma to find the gems.

 

“Oh, yah! I met her at the Boarshead. She was also at the infirmary early this morning to open the investigation.” Ailish answered, not seemingly possessed of her usual suspicious nature.

 

“So you hauled yourself back here nearly as quickly as we did just before the attack.” Dev spoke clearly, absorbing the facts.

 

“Mmm, yeah. I wasn’t planning on staying over, but we’d had a bit much to drink ...no thanks to your friend here…” the blonde elbowed Ailish playfully. “ So we wound up sticking around. I’m honored to be helping you with this case, Devlin. I’ve heard a lot about you and I know we’ll see justice done for Colin.”

 

“Be that as it may, I will wait for confirmation from Nile in the morning before I trust anyone but myself with Ailish.” Dev continued firmly.

 

“Hey, Dev. You aren’t the only one broken up about Colin, and I know you’d want us all together right now but I just can’t leave him alone. I volunteered, and Kenny accepted. He said as a favor to you and I think he sees something in me, too.” Ailish explained, walking the line between genuine excitement and defensiveness.

 

“I could just as easily assign you to this post while we are investigating in Trost without need of you volunteering for Kenny’s squad.”

 

“Ok, now you’re just being overprotective. It’s fine, Dev. They really know what they’re doing. They have better weapons and a lot more resources than we would have alone. Together we’ll figure this out more quickly. Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you forever. I need to do this for myself and for Colin, ok? Trust me, Dev.” Ailish locked eyes with Devlin while the blonde woman focused her attention on the floor.

 

“I’ll confirm with Nile in the morning, Ailish. Either way you’ll be staying here to watch over Colin while I’m gone, ok? Anything changes with his condition I want to hear about it immediately.” Dev conceded at least this much, though her skin was still crawling with the notion that somewhere around here, Kenny Ackerman was near enough to accept Ailish’s services directly. Sure, he was a scary guy, a brilliant fighter and bodyguard who wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, but he had an entirely different agenda behind those eyes of his and nobody was watching the watcher.

 

“Ok.” Ailish agreed. “Thank you, Dev. I won’t let you down. Promise. Thank you so much for letting me do this. I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise. I hardly got any last night as it is.”

 

“I’m going to go take Ailish to debriefing so she’ll be prepared for the first night’s watch.” the blonde woman spoke up. Dev had nearly forgotten that she existed for a moment. “Go ahead and stay with him as long as you want, Devlin. I’ll make sure no one bothers you tonight.”

 

“Thank you.” Dev conceded. “I appreciate that. What did you say your name was?”

 

“Eh, when you work for Kenny, we’re all Ackermans. Names are meaningless anyway.” the woman responded.

 

“So, I should call you Ackerman?” Dev raised an eyebrow. “You look more like a Helga.”

 

“If the shoe fits. I am whoever I’m needed to be. You’ll get accustomed to that with our squad over time.”

 

“Ok, Helga. I’m going in now. Take care of Ailish or the Ackerman clan are going to learn a thing or two about what it means to have their asses collectively whooped.” Devlin couldn’t stop herself. To her surprise, the blonde woman seemed amused.

 

“No worries. I’d rather not. If I don’t see you in the morning, have a safe trip.” and with that, the blonde and Ailish headed off down the corridor, leaving Devlin to Colin and a heavy heart.

 

She crept in and sat with him in silence for a while. His eyes were closed, and he was still breathing evenly. She breathed a small sigh of relief, and placed Quackers on his side table.

 

“I’m awake.” his voice was low and tired.

 

“You should sleep.”

 

“Oh, wow. You brought me Quackers. Look at you.” the tiniest bit of a smile curled at the end of his lips.

 

“Ailish is going to stand watch here with you and some other weird spy assassin woman from the interior while we head back to Trost tomorrow.”

 

“Mmm..two things. Actually three. Thing one: I don’t trust Blondie McShadytown as far as I can throw her. Admittedly that’s not much at the moment, but on a good day I could really go some distance. Thing two: because of this, can I borrow your knife?” Colin’s eyes glanced downward to where he knew she stashed her knives; one beneath her arm and the other on her thigh. Dev didn’t hesitate to produce one of the two.

 

“Don’t let the nurse catch you with this.” she said.

 

“No worries. I just need a little extra insurance.” he exhaled and slid it carefully under his pillow.

 

“What’s the third thing?” she remembered.

 

“Ah, well I know you’re not really comfortable with it, but could I have your hand to hold a while, Dev?” For a moment, he looked like his 5 year old self, reaching for her to pull him up into their tree fort. She hadn’t realized that she’d pushed him away so hard as to make him feel uncomfortable with simple hand holding.

 

“Any time, Colin. You don’t have to ask me. It’s ok.” she smiled at him, her voice nearly breaking.

 

“Are you going to cry?” he seemed surprised. “Oh, Dev you said it yourself. I’m a tough little bastard and I’m not going out like this.”

 

She laughed through her tears and took his hand, clinging to it like a lifeline. “I’m really sorry for being so distant. I’ve really been pushing you away even further because...well you know why.”

 

“I don’t get why Heinrich can hold hands with you any time he likes, but if I do it it’s because I’m crushing on you and it’s oh so wrong for me to torture myself over you. Listen, I’m not a kid or a jealous child, yah? I know what the answer has to be until we can figure out other answers for ourselves, but Dev I’m completely comfortable with you. I do wish we could be more than friends, and I don’t see that changing. It doesn’t mean you have to protect me from myself; how ridiculous.” Colin squeezed her hand with his, and moved it to his chest to hold it close. She could feel his heartbeat through his shirt.

 

“You talk a lot when you’re medicated.” she wiped tears away with her free hand.

 

“I know! The nurse said the same thing. Let me tell you, though I don’t feel a single thing. Pain that is. I am serious though. I worried I’d never get to tell you. You don’t have to walk on eggshells with me. I’m happy that I have you, and I’ll always be there for you. And Quackers is eternal.” he was definitely high on painkillers.

 

“That’s what family is for.” she nodded.

 

“Eh, I’m telling you. I’m positive we’re not related. Otherwise I’d have to be the mailman’s son or something. We’re just totally different. Structurally. Bodily. Philosophically. I can adverb at you for hours.”

 

“If it makes you happy.” She leaned her head against his unwounded shoulder, carefully.

 

“You know, it’s the weirdest thing. I’ve felt so much better since Elf foisted her blood on me. I think she’s magical.”

“She’s our Elf. Of course she is.” Dev was content listening to him talk, and feeling his chest rise and fall.

 

“I mean really, though. I can remember a lot. I’m starting to remember more about the attack, but when I have all the details I’ll tell you. Only you.”

 

“Ok. Thank you.”

 

“You don’t think that’s weird?”

 

“I think you’re getting real good drugs right now.”

 

“I am! But I can tell the difference. You seem out of it, though.”

 

“...it’s been a hard day, Colin. You’re not even out of the woods yet and I’ve got a million things on my mind.”

 

“Oh! Is that all? Well no worries here. My two ears can safely accept all one million and I’ve storage space in my heart for such things.”

 

“I’ll be here all night if I start explaining now.”

 

“Oh, no! Whatever will I do? I was so set on heading down to the pub in a few minutes. I’m waiting. Quackers won’t tell a soul either.” Colin squeezed her hand.

 

The two talked until Colin’s medication finally kicked in again and lulled him off to sleep with Dev not far behind, leaning against his shoulder and holding onto his hand for dear life.

  
The next morning, Devlin, Heinrich, and Elfrieda took a carriage (Nile seemed interested in making a point by ensuring they traveled comfortably in style) back to Trost to gather information, while Ailish stood guard over Colin beneath the long shadow of Kenny Ackerman. 


	9. Feather Fall: What's Left of the Flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devlin, Elfrieda, and Heinrich venture back into Trost to investigate the crime scene and get a better understanding of the fallout after the Colossal Titan attack. Their search for information bears fruit from an unlikely source. Unfortunately for anyone trying to sleep, the Garrison has not run out of ammunition for their cannons yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH. MY. GODS. This chapter took me forever to write. It kept taking me places I didn't expect it to, and then I'd have to rewrite chunks a couple of times because even fictional brain children surprise me. If you're just joining us, please go back to chapter one and start over or none of this is going to make much sense to you. This was by far the most difficult chapter I've had to write since starting this. I know of at least one other in the future that will hurt even more. Annie might seem a little OOC, but I think it makes sense for this current situation. She's never been one to back down from getting caught, even if she's a little obtuse. Good gracious. Thanks for sticking with me!

_What’s Left of the Flag_

 

The carriage and its inhabitants rode quietly along with Elfrieda at the reins. There was an absence carved into each of their expressions. Riding with two less squadmates for the first time was unsettling to all of them. Deciding they were in no rush, they stopped to grab a bite to eat with two hours left of riding.

 

“Do you think that’s thunder?” Elf asked before biting into a sandwich.

 

“No. Too rhythmic. Those are cannons.” Heinrich answered.

 

“Cannons from where?” Elf tried not to talk with her mouth full.

 

“Trost, I imagine. The city was secured yesterday, but they still have a lot of titans to finish off. And probably days worth of cleanup. Scouts and Garrison are working on Titan takedown.” he continued.

 

“So, won’t that kindof contaminate any evidence we’d be able to collect?” Elf took a drink of water.

 

“Ugh. Good point.” Dev said. “ Maybe we should focus on just shadowing people around hq. Look for suspicious activity and all that.”

 

“I can do that. Heinrich can do that, too. He’s sneaky like the night when he wants to be. Part of me wants to follow Sparkles and Undercut around to make sure they don’t get swept up by some less worthy branch of the military.” Elf continued.

 

“Who are Sparkles and Undercut?” Heinrich asked.

 

“Remember those kids we ran into at hq right after the Colossal Attack? Ailish nicknamed them Sparkles and Undercut.” Elf began assembling sandwiches.

 

“Oh. Undercut I understand, but why Sparkles?” Heinrich was amused.

 

“As I understand it, it was the way he looked at Ailish. All bright eyed and bushy tailed and dying to be a respectable unicorn. You know.” Elf grinned.

 

“Ah. I’m glad she never gave me a nickname, then.” Heinrich began to slice down a tomato. “We should check in on them, though. I can’t imagine that a bunch of kids would have handled yesterday very well. I’m almost afraid to hear about the casualties.”

 

“As I understand it, they’re still calculating them. The initial assault was brutal, but they were able to regroup somehow and sustained less casualties in the later part of the day.” Dev stated. It was in the report, after all. The report was far from complete, though.

 

Elf passed out sandwiches, Dev poured them each some water, and Heinrich put out a plate of vegetables to share. The squad sat and ate in relative silence after that, sobered by the reality of what they were about to face.

 

Following their meal, Elf drove them the rest of the way into the city. By the time they arrived, the Titan threat within Trost had not yet been exterminated so they found lodging at an inn a few blocks from the main gate.

 

The first hour went well. The second hour went well. The group had split up throughout the day, sticking to well populated areas to keep an eye on anyone that looked like they might have authority. Each of them kept mental lists as to their whereabouts, listening in on their orders, and trying to see if they might be able to pinpoint the locations of the military leadership. The late afternoon was an adventure in information gathering, punctuated by the near-ceaseless cannons. By nightfall, though, the cannonfire had become something of a disturbing presence. Glasses shook ever so slightly with every report as they ate dinner. How these people could sleep with this racket a second night was a mystery to Devlin. A plan formed in her mind as she ate her soup; one that involved wrapping her ears in a bandage so that she didn’t have to hear the cannons all night long. First thing was first though; the squad had to share notes.

 

“So. I’m glad to see everyone came back in one piece. Was anyone followed?” Dev asked, breaking up her bread.

 

“Nope. I would have seen someone.” Elf said.

 

“I was, so I decided to lead them around town. We stopped in a book store, a bakery, the market square, and they went on their own way after a while. Blonde girl. Trainee. It was more fun than it should have been.” Heinrich smiled a little.

 

“She was a trainee?” Dev raised an eyebrow. “A little young to be acting out; I doubt anyone gave her orders to shadow the MP. Do you think she’s connected to the attack?”

 

“I have no way of knowing that based purely on our little cat and mouse game today, but I’ll keep my eye on her. She had a very distinctive look to her. Softly hooked nose, ice blue eyes, light blonde hair. You know, the kind that’s almost platinum. She just looked so bored and sad the entire time she was following me around. I guess I should have just asked her if she needed any help. Maybe I’ll see her tomorrow. Get a name. Something.” Heinrich ate his bread while Dev digested this information.

 

“I was able to track down Undercut today, but Sparkles was nowhere to be found.” Elf volunteered. “I guess I should use his real name, since this is serious business. Kid said his name was Jean Kierstein, and Trost was his home town. Trost was successfully evacuated without any civilian casualties and he was able to locate his mother in good health. You should have seen him talk about her. The tough guy act just melted away from him, explaining how stupid he’d been to want to be away from her. I think he saw too much today fighting in the streets, and he’ll be doing cleanup tomorrow. I tried to encourage him and tell him that when he joins the MP, he’ll be able to move his mother to someplace safer. I’m not sure how he took it, because he got real quiet and thanked me, then told me he had to turn in for evening muster.”

 

Dev listened to both of them speak, and realized something unusual about this pattern. “You know, is it just me or are these trainee graduates a lot...I don’t know...bolder than the previous ones? I don’t remember being in class with anyone with half as much nerve as these kids. I can’t imagine a trainee stalking anyone.”

 

“Who are you talking to right now? Our squad is the ballsiest, brassiest collection of miscreants this walled hell has ever seen.” Elf could barely contain her laughter. Dev thought about it for half a second, and shrugged off her concerns.

 

“True. Today I overheard some of the garrison folks explaining that the Scouts believe that the Colossal Titan is a person wrapped up in a titan suit like we heard before...but that they also believe whoever is driving it isn’t from within the walls. It’s one of the reasons Eren is going to stand trial; he’s other now in their eyes. They don’t trust him.” Dev grew quiet, and lowered her voice to a whisper. “If they knew about us, we’d probably get accused or diced up.”

 

Heinrich bit into an apple, unhappy with the idea that years of faithful service could end with a single accusation. “Our records are in Shiganshina, which was totally destroyed. No one can prove or disprove anything about us at this point, regardless of how sharp they might be.”

 

“Many of us can verify that Eren is Grisha’s son, but that won’t save him from being tried as a traitor. We stand even less of a chance unless Hannes can vouch for us, but that would be unfair to him.” Devlin felt chilled as the memory of her conversations with Hanji and Erwin resurfaced. Erwin himself had already promised he’d keep an eye on her, but that didn’t seem to extend to Colin the night he was attacked. Should the worst happen and her squad was accused, what could they do? Where would they go? “The absence of our birth documents may do more to further our guilt if…” she trailed off, overcome with the feeling she was being watched. Her eyes searched the room for the source.

 

“I want into the city. Tonight. There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep with this racket going on.” Heinrich watched Devlin’s face as her eyes searched the room.

 

“They’ll never let us through.” Devlin spoke to him, but continued her search.

 

“Sure they will. We just need a disguise.” Heinrich waggled his eyebrows and looked pointedly at some scouts who were near to passing out from exhaustion and alcohol.

 

“We can’t take those. They’d be reported.” Elf said. "We can get them off of those left behind in Trost. All we need is to get over the wall unnoticed. We can do that with our gear over on the far left of Trost district by scaling the wall on the exterior and following it down until we are far enough away that the Garrison cannot witness us making the hop."

 

“Mmm..yes. But there will be titans on that side of the wall. It’s wild territory.” Heinrich pulled a mushroom out of his soup and used his spoon like a mini trebuchet and sent it flying. It stuck to the half conscious Scout’s face, rousing him. Heinrich calmly returned to the conversation as though it never happened.

 

Elf’s eyes flashed when she smiled. “We weren’t in the top ten because we were the most legible at writing parking tickets. We were trained to kill titans and my blades are thirsty. It doesn’t matter that most of them will be asleep right now. Shooting titans in a barrel is fine with me. What do you say we do a little recon of our own, nab some disguises and some extra gear, stash it in the city for when the threat has been eliminated, and do our own little investigation in hq by the cover of night.”

 

Dev nodded. “My thoughts also. No one said we have to play nice, and if we’re going to be suspects at some point we’re going to need a couple tricks up our sleeve to survive.”

 

“I can repair any half chewed gear if we need to. Having unregistered backups might be something we need if we ever need to get out quickly.” Heinrich confirmed. Whether anyone had intended it or not, the promise of an actual fight had drawn all three of them to lean in closer to each other over the table.

 

“No one, and I mean no one, is going to separate us again.” Dev half whispered, sternly. “We have a carriage. We’ll use it as we need to. We can hunker down in an abandoned building in Trost until sunup. I reckon we’ll know when the Titans are all dispatched will have something to do with whenever the cannons stop firing. Once the cleanup effort begins, we can assist those efforts to our own ends and walk freely through the gate. I want to have a better look at the crime scene.”

 

“So not to bed tonight, then. To adventure!” Elf was elated.

 

“Yes, but we remain cautious, you hear? Anything looks too risky, you don’t do it unless you have no other choice.”

 

“Yes, sir” Elf and Heinrich replied simultaneously. They then paid for their meal, and exited the Inn to dissolve themselves in shadow as they kitted themselves out with gear. The group of three stood together, occasionally lit by the yellow firing of cannons beneath the blue of the full moon. They nodded to each other and raced off to follow the wall a safe distance away.

 

Heinrich was the first to release his anchors as he went zipping up the wall, swinging an increase in height until he was able to pull himself to the top of the wall. The wind whipped through his clothes as he surveyed the countryside. Lakes and rivers sparkled on the horizon, casting reflected light through ruined buildings that fell five years ago. In the far distance, he could make out a stand of extraordinarily tall trees. Dev landed next to him, her breath caught in her throat.

 

“If it wasn’t an elaborate pen, it would be beautiful.” she commented into the wind.

 

Elf touched down just behind Heinrich; the three of them looking like carrion crows as their coats whipped in the wind. “ It IS beautiful.” The blonde brushed some stray hair off of her cheek and smiled at the other two. “You guys ever wonder who bothers to repair the holes this gear leaves in the masonry?”

 

“Some poor idiots in the Garrison, probably.” Dev responded. “Ok, remember. Stay to the walls on the Maria facing side until we’re far enough along the exterior of Trost’s circumference to hop over and into the town. Don’t get too close to the ground, and if you see any titans do not engage them. We only engage the city titans in Trost, got it?”

 

The other two saluted her, launching their anchors and starting their route down and across the exterior of Wall Rose. They tried to time the sound of their gear to the blast of the cannons to mask any sign of their movement. They traveled a good distance, about half the length of the perimeter of Trost before Heinrich hopped over the wall first, landing on a rooftop. The other two joined him, ever watchful for any abnormal titans that may be awake this late into the night. The moon was very bright, and there was no telling if moonlight could fuel them like the sun could. Unfortunately, they just didn’t have enough intel.

 

The cannons blessedly ceased firing for a while, and the silence was nearly as deafening. Heinrich whipped his head back toward the wall. “ I heard a fourth.”

 

“What?” Dev looked around.

 

“I heard someone behind us. The last of cable being retrieved after a final shot. It’s unmistakeable.” Heinrich drew a knife from somewhere within his boot.

 

Elf narrowed her eyes. “ I knew it.” She drew her pistol and aimed it at the shadowed side of the roof next to her. For a while, nothing moved.

 

“We know you’re out there. Come out or we’ll shoot first.” Dev called, one hand on her paring blade hilt. Heinrich raised an eyebrow as a petite girl stepped out of the shadows with her hands in the air. Her white hoodie hid her hair, but her blonde bangs fell into her face.

 

“No need.” the girl said, calmly. “I wanted to search for a friend of mine I lost track of earlier. I saw you guys scale the wall and figured there was safety in numbers. You can pretend I’m not even here.”

 

“No need.” Heinrich returned flatly. “You’re with us for the evening if you want to make it out of here alive.”

 

Devlin looked at the girl, then back to Heinrich. “Yes. You might be able to help us cover more ground. We’re looking for something specific as well.” Devlin kept her expression stony, not in the mood to entertain a spy but Heinrich seemed to have a plan.

 

“You really don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” The girl kept her distance and her hands up.

 

“I’m not worried about you. I want to know if you following me earlier has anything to do with why you’re here right now.” Heinrich crossed his arms. His knife blade glinted in the moonlight.

 

“You are interesting. I saw you with that redhead that got stabbed the other night, but that’s none of my business. You’re investigating. So am I. It’s all I can do until I’m one of you and do my investigation from the inside.” She didn’t move.

 

“Did you see the attack?” Devlin couldn’t catch herself before speaking.

 

“I may have seen something. I figured the MP were corrupt from the inside, but I have to say I didn’t expect to see them attacking their own kind.” The blonde pulled her hood off her head.

 

“Is there any reason you didn’t try to stop it?” Devlin took a breath to calm herself.

 

“It wasn’t any of my business. What you’re doing now is none of my business either.” for a small girl, this blonde stood her ground. “It seems as though I have more information than you do, so I’ll stop tailing you now.”

 

“What’s your name, cadet?” Devlin asked.

 

“Not important.” she replied.

 

“It is if you want to join the military police. In case you weren’t aware, it’s all about who you know. That’s true here as it is everywhere else. If you walk away now you have two choices: you’ll lose any chance of MP membership because you’ll be expelled, or you can report back to us any information you can dig up and we’ll see that you get excellent placement.” Devlin walked toward the girl, her toes just barely hanging off the edge of the roof.

 

“It’s Annie.” the blonde said simply. “I’ll report back to you as I am able. Your man was attacked by three MPs in long trenchcoats. I’ve never seen them before. There was a fourth that did not engage hidden away on a nearby rooftop. Nothing escapes my notice. Can I go now?”

 

“Can you describe them?” Devlin continued.

 

“The fourth was the only one worth noting. He wore a fedora and seemed a little rough around the edges.” Annie’s eyes shifted back to Elf’s aimed pistol, which hadn’t moved at all during their conversation. “You can’t tell me that you had permission to be here the way you climbed into this place. Don’t worry, though. My lips are sealed.”

 

“Is that so. Who are you looking for? We can tell you if we come across them.” Devlin asked, not particularly keen on trusting this girl. This was a shaky alliance at best. She noted that the girl hadn’t removed her eyes from Elf’s gun, so perhaps that was the only thing that worried her. If she was skilled enough to aim for the MP, she must be in the top ten of her class. Blades wouldn’t be a threat to her.

 

“My bunkmate, Mina.” Annie said simply. “Dark hair, pigtails.” She eyed the gun one more time before smirking slightly and taking off in a flash towards the rooftop across the street.

 

“Dammit” Elf breathed. She knew I couldn’t shoot without alerting everyone that we’re here.”

 

“Shoot if you have to. I don’t care if we’re discovered. We tell them we followed her here and were suspicious. They’ll believe us because they don’t have a choice.” Devlin exhaled.

 

“True.” Elf holstered her weapon. “We are the Military Police, and we are badasses.”

 

“I’ll keep an eye on Annie, Dev.” Heinrich volunteered. “Turnabout is fair play.”

 

“Alright. Stick to the plan. Heinrich, it’s up to you to collect broken gear. Elf, you’re on disguises. See if you can grab any Scout cloaks. The more intact, the better. I’ll cut down any titans that dare to be sleeping in the street on our trajectory to hq.”

 

“Understood. Let’s fly.” Elf said, launching her cables into the belltower of a nearby building and swooping into the cobbled streets below. The streets were blessedly titan free, but were not free of body parts or ‘hairballs’ as everyone had come to call them. Titan vomit was the worst, and it too glittered in the moonlight. Heinrich scanned the streets below for glints of metal among the blood sprays. Fortunately, it seemed that most of the still living titans were corralled near the wall near the Garrison’s cannons. They’d been silent too long, apparently, as they began another volley into the pile of steaming titan meat in their attempts to annihilate them from the earth.

 

The fallen were everywhere. Pieces of people and vacant eyes stared at the sky. Nothing moved but their squad, and the wind in the hair and clothes of the fallen. Tears shined on Elf’s face as she glided through the destruction. Dev was having trouble keeping her composure as the smell of the deceased was beginning to ripen. Titan shaped ash outlines covered the streets where bones had long ago disintegrated as if the horror was only air; a dream to wake up from. The cannons were quiet again, blessedly.

 

Heinrich stood in the street in front of a bakery. The windows were smashed and half of the building was missing. Dev stood watch for any sign of the gargantuan beasts that were responsible for the mayhem. In the road ahead, Heinrich heard a small cry from Annie. He looked up in time to see her desperately backing away from a fallen form in the street. She sat in the street with her back against the building, the strength in her legs temporarily giving up on her. ‘Her roommate I guess.’ he thought. He watched her as she directed muffled cries into the crook of her arm. This tough girl did have emotions after all. He watched from a distance as she worked herself bravely to her feet and approached the corpse once more. She reached down and removed what was left of their jacket and covered the corpse’s face. The way the shadows fell, their head couldn’t have been in one piece. He observed with interest as she carefully removed their gear and walked off down the street with it. Once she was far enough away, Heinrich signaled to Dev and Elf, and the three went to investigate. As they drew near, they realized the deceased was male and had sustained unthinkable damage to his right side. Dev kneeled down to inspect the body. As she did, the ever-present wind picked up and blew off the bloodsoaked rag of jacket that covered what remained of this person’s face. One sunken eye looked back at her from what was once a freckled face. Over a quarter of the kid was missing. His gums were beginning to recede. Dev turned quickly away and vomited onto the cobblestones. The damnable cannons began firing again.

 

“Oh, god…” Elf whispered. “That’s Sparkles.”

 

“His name was Marco if I remember correctly.” Heinrich offered softly, holding Dev’s hair out of her face. He wasn’t able to look directly at the corpse either out of disgust or respect or a mixture of both.

 

“What happened to him?” Elf stared awkwardly, trying to assess if the darkness around the kid was due to cannon fire, explosion, or dried blood. His skin didn’t look torn, she noted. This didn’t look like a titan’s doing to her eyes.

 

Devlin was lost, drowning in her own memory. She saw them all; the eyes of the dead. Her family. She saw Colin’s mother get eaten. As her final act, Colin’s mother had thrown herself in front of her child before she was grabbed. Dev had grabbed Colin’s hand and fled away, hiding under a wagon. The sound of metal and wood snapping was everywhere. Or were they bones?

She remembered Heinrich pulling the two of them free. She saw Ailish’s father wildly flying around these giants that had appeared at once...so suddenly...dragging a rope behind his wagon and pinning them to trees in hopes that they could be restrained. There just wasn’t enough rope. They’d break free. Arms, legs, fabric, bells, hell itself was flying around her in a hurricane of flesh and death.

 

Heinrich pulled Dev to her feet and carried her away from the corpse of the unfortunate boy. Elf followed as they settled on a nearby rooftop to gain their bearings.

 

“Dev, ya with us?” Heinrich nudged her. She jumped free of the maelstrom in her mind and looked into his face. She felt tears on her cheeks that she did not remember releasing.

 

“I...yeah...wow...surprise...I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. It was like looking in a mirror. We could have been related, I swear.” Dev’s voice was thick with sickness.

 

“Let’s find a safe place to hunker down for the night and stash the gear we’ve found.” Heinrich suggested. “They won’t let the townspeople back in until all of the cleanup is completed. We’ll be fine here til morning.” Elf wordlessly hopped down to collect their loot from the street.

 

Devlin nodded absently. “Annie must have known him.” she said.

 

“Judging by her reaction, I’d say definitely. Why she took his gear though is anyone’s guess.” Heinrich answered.

 

“Perhaps she’s an opportunist like the rest of us.” Devlin shrugged.

 

“I found us a spot.” Elf said. “Follow me!” So, they did. Devlin was able to move on her own power until they followed Elf into a house that happened to have an unlocked front door. They locked it (pretending that would help) and walked upstairs to find a place to sleep.

 

Whoever lived here was well off enough to afford a cupboard full of food and an indoor bathroom, which Elf immediately claimed for a bath. Heinrich and Devlin settled into the master bedroom while Dev recovered from her shock. Elf sat at the vanity and unbraided her long hair in the darkness. They risked lighting a few candles, but dared not light any lamps for fear of being spotted by the Garrison. They pulled all of the curtains before Elf scampered off to her bath, leaving Heinrich and Devlin behind talking quietly about nothing until they both lulled themselves into sleep. In the corner of the room, a small pile of 3dmg in various states of brokenness was draped with three green Scout cloaks. Moonlight shone through the window casted an eerie glow on the flugel der freiheit symbol on the back.

 

************************************************

 

Having completed her bath, Elfrieda towel dried her wet hair before her eyes rested on the glowing emblem. She smiled sadly and sat on the floor next to the haphazard pile to place a hand on the objects now useless to their previous owners. She closed her eyes and sang a song, mournful and melodic; a nightingale in hell. She no longer remembered what the words meant, she only knew that the dead could sigh and leave as they were carried to somewhere else. Somewhere beyond to freedom. She keened until she grew weary and heavy with memory. She climbed quietly into the king-sized bed with the other two and stared into the darkness as her mind replayed the memories she desperately clung to in secret. For whatever reason, Elfrieda (and only Elfrieda), retained every memory the others had lost...the ones that Devlin was haunted by in pieces. She fell into sleep, ancient melody in her heart.

 

 


	10. Feather Fall: Another Bag of Bricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi unintentionally becomes comic relief, and Devlin and her squad *finally* get some answers. Elf shares some important information. Mike makes his appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just shoot me now! These guys have gotten themselves into a fine mess and here I am having to explain it all. Brainchildren never do what you expect them to do. We finally get to learn more about Elfrieda's character in this chapter. Heinrich will have his own soon enough, the scamp. Stay tuned, and if you're just joining us please go back to the beginning and start there!
> 
> Once again, we will leave the anime storyline soon and dive into the manga so there WILL BE SPOILERS even moreso than now in the future. You have been warned.

**Another Bag of Bricks**

 

Dev slowly opened her eyes to the golden light of morning which casted out the shadowed mysteries of their borrowed room. She was hungry, she decided. She was also comfortable and not excited about leaving the bed. Her mind was still drunk on the process of waking; that place between worlds where dreams still lingered on in the real world. In her mind, pieces from an old poem remained. She decided to write it down before it faded again, like many of her memories.

She scooted out of bed with every intention of not waking Heinrich or Elfrieda, both of whom were sprawled like downed birds behind her. Elf’s long hair was literally everywhere as she lay on her stomach, half on and half off of the bed. Her arm was stretched out and covered Heinrich’s face, and Heinrich in turn had spread his legs far enough to hold Elfrieda’s other leg and keep her from falling altogether on the floor. Devlin shook her head and sat to write down the remnants of poem in her head. As all vivid dreams do, it felt very important to write it before her head cleared.

 

_'Yes, friend you are most foolish,_

_to leave your home like this,_

_To wander up to London,_

_for dreams of fancied bliss,_

_Where no man cares for others,_

_save as they serve their plan,_

_To rob and slay each other,_

_and best their fellow man._

 

Satisfied that this was all she could remember, she spoke it aloud quietly. Elf began to rouse herself from sleep and mumbled the next verse.

 

_'Now hark to me, a month ago,_

_while sleeping in my chair,_

_I thought I heard some church bells_

_chiming clearly in the air,_

_The voices hovered o'er me,_

_that seemed to me to say,_

_Neath the Eastern door of Swaffham Church_

_great buried treasure lay.'_

 

Devlin turned her head to see Elfrieda stretch her arms wide, not yet awake, and finally flomp off the bed onto the floor with a squeak. Heinrich continued sleeping like a log.

 

“What was that, Elf?” Devlin walked over to help her off of the floor.

 

“Huh?” the blonde was bewildered, and wrapped in a storm of her own hair. Elfrieda noticed that, and took a seat at the vanity again to begin brushing it out, still not quite awake.

 

“The poem. You know that poem?” Devlin continued.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s an old one. Grisha used to ask me to recite it to him many-many moons ago.” Elf absently brushed her hair to begin the long process of braiding it. “He said it was his favorite because it was literature that didn’t exist in a form that they could banish. He told me to be careful reciting it to anyone else because the places it mentions don’t exist here and people were paranoid enough to think that I wasn’t making it up.”

 

“How do you remember that?” Devlin breathed.

 

“Don’t know. Just can. I can recite the whole thing if you want. Truth is, you know it too. You just can’t remember because the walls fry your brain. Nothing in this world will keep me from remembering where I come from and why I fight. Nothing.” Elf stated simply, finally making some progress on the knots in her hair.

 

“Elf...why didn’t you...how much do you remember?” Devlin took a seat before the seat took her.

 

“ I remember our life before this place. It wasn’t perfect. If it were perfect we’d never have traveled all this way. No one believed the titans were real until it was too late. They thought oh, those crazy Germanic folks were bluffing. There was no such thing as a true utopia, and if there was they certainly wouldn’t have to put walls around it. I remember my father reading me a story that claimed the only utopia that could exist was if there were only one person left alive in the world. No one wanted to live in this walled city, especially not your parents. They’ve had a long time to develop a hate of monarchies. So we’d traveled from town to town, ignoring the evacuations and what we thought were lies. We crossed a small sea on our way to the big city, I don’t remember it’s name (but I like to pretend it’s the London in the poem), and arrived in time to see that it lay in ruins. Some sort of plague, as it were. I remember seeing so many sick and dying people. Like living skeletons, they were. So we made a run for it. Our entire community, that is. Picked up, stole a boat, (no one was using them anyway) and headed to the mainland in search of this so-called walled city. Your father believed that answers or an antidote for the plagues or the titans could be found there and would not rest until we got answers.We didn’t mean to, but apparently we’d carried a bit of that plague with us.”

 

Devlin sat and stared, remembering the blue of the sea and dolphins playing in the wake of their ship. Stolen, it seemed. No wonder Grisha was able to cure the plague if he’d encountered it among their dead. He could have discovered an antidote in that time for sure. She couldn’t remember how the plague had hit Shiganshina though, whether it began without or within. There was the ghost of the chance that her people brought it here through the Scouts that encountered it during the massacre, but her people also were not the originators of the disease. It has struck that big city somehow, causing them and everyone else to flee into the waiting maws of the Titans. Dev gritted her teeth realizing that there was a very good chance that the plague, the Titans, all of it was orchestrated. And as Grisha had said, it was likely that the King himself was the only one with answers. Of course, Elfrieda seemed to be full of information that she hadn’t been keen on sharing until this moment.

 

“Why on earth did you wait until now to tell me about this?” Devlin was lost somewhere between surprise, anger, and curiosity.

 

“I didn’t think it would be a problem until Grisha’s son turned into a titan within the walls. Now we know that the Colossal has a little person driving him from outside the walls. Or at least, it’s likely enough that we’ve got suspicion cast our way. It’s important to know that we aren’t shifters just because we came from somewhere else. We’re still painfully human. But...I might know where they’re coming from. Maybe. We made some stops to repair things in villages along the way, so it’s likely that one of those titan-resistant settlements had a guardian of some sort to keep their people safe. For all I know, one of our parents could have repaired a titan shifter’s wagon. Or their parents pots and pans. I don’t know, but it’s my theory and having it is dangerous. Erwin Smith having this theory might be even more dangerous, but I think it’s time we compared our notes and wrote down what we remember.” Elfrieda finished a long braid and let it hang there as she began work on another.

 

“You were seven years old when we were attacked. How do you remember all of this?”

 

“My family kept an oral tradition. We memorized our stories and recited them every other week or so to make sure we still knew them. Memorization is very valuable, speaking them out loud builds muscle memory so that even when your brain fails you, your mouth still remembers. See, my mom was a healer type. These wall-people would call her a witch, but then they don’t like anything that’s different. My father was from some far northern tribe that used to herd reindeer. He’d never heard of the Titans as such and he was from the mainland, so of course he believed the Reiss family was lying. Figures. There were a lot of giants in his people’s mythology though. Snow giants. I’ll tell you the story sometime.” Elfrieda finished another braid, her deft fingers making quick work of the seemingly unending tresses on her head. She took after her mother, Dev remembered.

 

Heinrich grunted and rolled over. “ No wonder she’s always reading and writing fairy tales.”

 

Elf looked over at him. “Oh, good morning. Not entirely writing from my own creation, but from my memory. Memory isn’t safe in this place. It pained me, but I wrote some of them down. In case something does happen to me in this place.”

 

“If you think the royal family is the cause of all of this death and destruction, why on earth did we join the branch of the military that serves to protect them?” Devlin was trying to wrap her mind around this.

 

“Because Grisha was right. We lay low, do the work, play the game, and one day the truth will come spilling out and we’ll be close enough to hear it.” Elf began braiding her braids together and twisting them into a bun on the top of her head. “Despite all that I remember, I was still just a kid. There are pieces I’m sure the adults kept from us, and infinitely more that we can learn.”

 

“We really, really need to protect Eren in all of this. We owe a life debt to Grisha and I have a bad feeling about his disappearance. If you know something in this town, you get killed for it.” Devlin was hardening herself into her belief with renewed vigor. They needed to get out of these walls, and they needed humanity to survive it. They also needed to continue dodging the Recon Corps leadership if they could avoid it at all. Erwin Smith was far too close to the mark on everything, and he’d promised he would be looking out for them. She was certain that if they were caught, they would be questioned. They needed to get their own commander to stand in the way if possible, but then Nile would know. She couldn’t let Nile know. Not like that. It might shatter his world to know some of this information, and would it be worth it? She liked him, and she was his friend, but he might not understand something this big.

 

“Alright, Heinrich get ready. I’ll make breakfast and then we’re out of here. I think I hear people in the city out there, so we should be able to just walk through the gate and collect our things. We need to make ourselves scarce before Zoe Hanji or Erwin Smith finds us.” Devlin got up and put on her uniform with renewed zest. Practiced hands were able to get her harness on the way many people slide into a pair of pants. Elf and Heinrich followed suit.

 

Following a warm breakfast, Devlin left some money on the counter in way of compensation for the owner’s unexpected hospitality. A gift for a gift, she thought as they stepped out onto the street. The cleanup had officially begun. The three walked down the street with confidence, concealing their loot in a large blanket that Heinrich strapped to his back. He would occasionally nod at individuals who were peeling the remains of their friends off of walls and the three would stop to salute each of the fallen. They nodded at the gatekeeper, a tired looking Garrison soldier who just waved them through.

 

They walked the way to their carriage and loaded it up. A tall Scout with the beginnings of a beard and short, dirty blonde hair walked over and began to pet their horses. Devlin watched him carefully. He was a good bit taller than her and broader than Heinrich. She sighed. Erwin’s spies were everywhere, and they were good.

 

“Mike Zacharius, I presume?” Devlin climbed into the carriage driver’s seat and reached for the reins.

 

He nodded and smiled at her, a firm grip on the horse’s harness. “Nice day isn’t it? Long night, though. Don’t worry I think we got all the titans, you don’t have to run away so quickly.”

 

“We’re not running. We have orders to report our findings and that’s what we’re doing.” Devlin knew she only had a small window to escape before Mike pulled her into a conversation. He was a pleasant guy, but powerful and he meant business. She imagined that if he really wanted to, he could probably bench press the mare he was petting.

 

“You have some time. Erwin would like a word with you before you head back, and he said he’d make it worth your while.” Mike refused to let go of the harness, and he looked up at her from his shaggy mane of hair. Heinrich hopped out of the carriage lightly and addressed Mike.

 

“We don’t have time today. Perhaps some other time?” Heinrich crossed his arms. “ I really don’t want to think that the Scouts are trying to delay His Majesty’s chosen in their orders. I am getting close to thinking that.”

 

“You’re absolutely right.” Mike smiled and took a deep breath before letting go of the harness. “But the way I see it is this, giving Erwin a moment of your time might help you out with some of that information you’re missing. He knows what he’s doing, and you ought to take that chance. Good information is extremely rare in this town, if you catch my meaning.”

 

Dev exhaled. “Why on earth does he need to speak to us?”

 

“That I’m not entirely sure of. He told me that you’d try to bolt from here as soon as you could, but how much information could you have gathered over one night without access to the district until early this morning?” he grinned at them.

 

“Enough” said Heinrich. “We learned enough.”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry for what happened to your squadmate. You never get used to that. It happens, but you don’t get used to it. You just hit a point where the pain maxes out and lingers. I know what that’s like.” Mike wasn’t leaving them, but Devlin couldn’t leave with Heinrich on the street.

 

“Some of our information points to one or more of the Scouts having involvement in this crime. Forgive us if we’re not interested in fraternizing.” Heinrich climbed back into the carriage effortlessly.

 

“I should say that Scouts don’t kill people. That’s the calling card of the interior, I hear. And I was also told to warn you that if you left here without meeting the Commander, your next meeting with him would not be as amicable.” For a fleeting moment, the sparkle in Mike’s eye conveyed something else: danger, and a promise.

 

“Fine. We’ll go. But we have a long way to go and traveling at night has grown more perilous than we anticipated.” Devlin climbed down from the driver’s seat. Mike’s height dwarfed her, even though she was a healthy 5’7”. Despite his towering frame, Dev couldn’t help but feel safe around this guy. She relaxed just a little until he leaned down and inhaled deeply over her head.

 

“What the hell, man?” Devlin made a face. “Did you just sniff me?!”

 

Mike smiled at her and said simply, “Yah. Problem?”

 

“Eh, that’s weird. You shouldn’t sniff people.” Devlin continued, trying not to be weirded out.

 

Mike shrugged. “It helps me remember who people are. I’m not so good with names; my sense of smell has always been stronger than my memory.”

 

“That’s also weird, but I understand I guess. Just ask next time, ok?” Dev barely got her sentence out before Elf lept in front of Mike.

 

“Sniff me!!” Elf held her arms wide, and Mike couldn’t help but laugh at her before he obliged. He blinked a few times, as though he’d just discovered a new type of butterfly. He bowed lightly to her with thanks before turning his attention to Heinrich.

 

“Don’t even think about it.” Heinrich said, flatly.

 

“No problem. I can smell you from here well enough.” Mike winked at Heinrich, and Heinrich’s expression went sideways with confusion. “Besides, I’ve already sniffed Devlin and you’re a cousin of sorts to her. That’s all I need to know.”

 

Devlin and Heinrich exchanged looks.

 

“I’ve got the carriage. Erwin is waiting for you in the library of that building.” Mike pointed. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

 

The three nodded at him and crossed the street. ‘Into the devil’s lair.’ Dev thought quietly. They walked into the library, where Erwin Smith sat looking at maps of lost territory south of Wall Rose. He stood when they entered the room.

 

“Ah, excellent. I’m glad you three could make it before you left. I had thought we’d have more time but you appear to be fleeing the city rather quickly. I’ve seen what’s out there, so I understand. I’ll get right to the point. I have some questions for each of you. Please have a seat.” Erwin gestured to three squishy looking chairs across from him. A voice called down from the stairs in the library. “Erwin, did you hide the soap from me?”

 

Erwin closed his eyes a moment before responding. “ No, Levi. Mike was the last one with it.”

 

“Goddamnit! He probably ate it!” Levi stormed down the stairs soaking wet wearing naught but a towel. He froze the way a cow looks at an oncoming train when he realized Erwin had company.

 

“Mike didn’t eat the soap. Just check his room.” Erwin pursed his lips a little bit, refusing to laugh in this situation. “You weren’t going to go into the street like that were you?”

 

“Tch. Like I care. I’m using yours. You could have warned me you had company.” Levi began trudging back up the stairs, leaving a trail of water behind him.

Erwin rubbed the back of his head at Levi’s retreating figure.

 

“He’s a bit like a wet cat, isn’t he?” Elf couldn’t help herself.

 

“More than you know. And he always lands on his feet.” Erwin responded.

 

“Oh, fuck you Erwin! I heard that!” Levi called from upstairs. This time Erwin didn’t hide his smile.

 

“Of course, Levi. Of course. Get dressed. We’ve got plans to go over today.”

 

“I’ll get dressed once I’ve gotten clean.” Levi called down again before a door closed upstairs.

 

Erwin took his seat again. “Sorry about that. I should have warned him.”

 

“Not a problem.” Devlin said. Elf kept her eyes on the stairs, probably hoping that Moblit would be the next to pay a visit.

 

“As I mentioned, I have some questions. The first being the most direct. Keith Shadis told me that there were a group of kids in Shiganshina that were brought back from a Recon mission many years ago. You match their physical descriptions, and I might as well tell you that I’m already fairly certain that I’m right. Any resistance you offer me will be considered more evidence to support this theory. I will start by saying that you’re not in any kind of trouble (at least for now), and I’ve been informed that none of you remember a thing anyway. What I’m asking of you is this: can you try and remember? I need to know if there are people living beyond the wall somewhere.” Erwin leaned forward on his desk as he addressed them, elbows on the maps, chin resting against his steepled fingers. His eyes were steel.

 

Elf spoke before Devlin had a chance to dodge the question. “Yes. There are people living out there. Or at least there were. I don’t know what the outside world looks like now or if they’re even still there. We stopped in several of their villages on the way here. I almost thought this place was a myth.”

 

Erwin turned his full attention to Elfrieda and took notes. “So you do remember.”

 

“I remember enough to help you form your theory. I’m not interested in getting involved in this, but it’s important that you know that we should not be suspects.” Elf continued.

 

Heinrich interrupted “It was always my theory that someone in town took poorly to whatever we fixed for them passing through. That’s what we did. Traveled looking for work to stay alive. Nothing more. The further inland we go, the more my memories blur and I don’t know why.”

 

Erwin looked up from his notes to consider Heinrich. “And you think they took some kind of revenge on your group?”

Elf continued. “Not necessarily revenge. See, not everyone considered our kind to be people. They used our profession as part of swears and curses. It’s possible that we were just an easy target.”

 

“I remember just before the titans were upon us; something screaming. It was a terrible racket, as though it was calling Titans to it because all of a sudden they were on us. I don’t know if that particular creature still lives or if it had a Titan baby or something with the same ability; it was a long time ago. I can’t describe that sound, though. I’d say it reminded me of a whale in distress, but you wouldn’t know what I was talking about.” Heinrich leveled his gaze at Erwin. “No fault of your own, of course.”

 

“One day I will.” Erwin replied solidly. “We will be free.” He held Heinrich’s gaze a moment before he continued making notes. “So, it is possible that these people who can shift into titans originated beyond the walls, perhaps in one of these villages. If I were left out there to face the titans, I would probably be upset with the walled city as well. And theoretically, if the Colossal and Armoured Titans are possessed of unique abilities then it is possible that there are other shifters with these unique abilities.”

 

“Just like people, I’d imagine.” Dev finally spoke. “Sir, I think that Eren Jaeger may be of great use here. I could ask him, perhaps and see what he knows. As far as I know, though, his father was a man of mystery. It could be that poor Eren doesn’t know any more than we do.”

 

Erwin nodded his head. “My thoughts exactly. Better to ask and learn and have a shifter on our side to help us combat the exterior threat. I will seek to acquire Eren Jaeger at his court martial. If I should fail, though, you must convince Nile not to kill him. He will undoubtedly see him as a threat.”

 

Dev went silent, remembering her conversation with Nile about Eren. It’s possible that Erwin would be a better caretaker, given that she’d wind up exiling herself to care for Eren if he was given over to her care. “Yes, you’re probably right. Erwin, before we continue you have to promise me that you will take care of Eren Jaeger at all costs if you should happen to win his case.”

 

Erwin blinked at her. “I would never think otherwise. Not only is Eren Jaeger valuable as a weapon, he also holds a great deal of my hope for the future. Many of us believe this. I assure you, he would be protected by any means necessary.”

 

Dev nodded, uncomfortable but a little relieved to know that Erwin’s play would likely not be to harm the kid.

 

“Back to the point, then.” Erwin continued. “I believe that the Armoured Titan’s attack was called off because of Eren’s appearance. Something surprised them enough not to break down Wall Rose, and I believe that means that Eren is not one of these conspirators. We must find these conspirators before they get to Eren or take down another wall, and I intend to try and flush them out. Do you have any suggestions?”

 

Heinrich spoke. “If you have Eren, you can draw them out with him. Eren’s ability should give him an added layer of protection against their assault. I hate to use the word “bait”, but there it is.”

 

Erwin nodded. “I’d hate to think of that also, however we cannot let the conspirators push further in. If Eren is awarded to the MP, then that’s where they will go. Through another gate and thousands of lives. We will have to use every weapon at our disposal to draw them away from the cities.”

 

“So, we were told that you have information for us if we’re here to talk to you.” Devlin stated.

 

“Ah, yes. About your friend. I have reason to believe that he was attacked by one or more of the Military Police. I wonder why?” Erwin added the question to the end of what they already knew.

 

“So we’ve heard. Motive, though. That’s another thing. We have no idea what would motivate an MP to hurt another MP.” Devlin thought of Colin, resting peacefully in his bed under Ailish and Blonde Ackerman’s watch.

 

“They have money, so it’s probably not that. It’s probably something far more dangerous, like a belief or a wild dream. I wish to issue you and your group a warning. If they’re onto your origins in any way as much as I am, there’s a good chance you have something they want. That something can be as simple as trying to pull you into sharing their vision. For some reason, Colin threatened that. I’m worried that Kenny Ackerman has his eye on you lot.” Erwin continued.

 

Devlin nodded.  “So am I. I think he’s been stalking us either himself or his agents have been in my periphery for a couple of days now and I’m not a fan. His reputation isn’t a very good one. I believe he’d kill to get what he wanted.”

 

“I am certain of it. However, Colin survived, which meant he survived on purpose. It was a message. You really must be careful, Devlin. You and your team. I must request that you promise me that if I summon you for another meeting in the future that you will appear unconditionally. It might save your lives. I need you to stay alive.” Erwin stated.

 

“Sir, I’m worried that one of our squad mates might already have been privy to this belief of his. She’s unofficially joined him, and I don’t know how to get her to see reason. She’s just too angry and she thinks you all are responsible for what happened to Colin.” Devlin said. Elf and Heinrich looked at her, both surprised and concerned. Elfrieda hadn’t been the only one keeping information close to her chest.

 

“I recommend that you have Colin moved to another hospital in secret for a while.” Erwin said.

 

“We can’t do that. Ailish doesn’t want to be separated from him any more than we do.” Devlin continued.

 

“Then you’ll need to figure that out on your own. Most importantly, you need to remain alive. I will contact you again soon. Our mission at the end of this month should supply us both with answers. Thank you for meeting with me today. We are adjourned and you’re free to go.” Erwin stood and offered a handshake to the three of them, which they accepted.

 

Mike was waiting for them at their carriage as he said he would be. “Everything go well?” he asked.

 

“Well enough.” Devlin replied, climbing back into the driver’s seat. “My head is still spinning a bit, but well enough.”

 

“That’s Erwin for you. I don’t know how he knows half the things he does. It’s like he can pull information straight out of the air.” Mike continued.

 

“No one can do that, Mike. He just has a lot of resources. Apparently we’re one of them now.” Devlin gripped the reins as her squadmates filed into the carriage.

 

“Good. Oh, and you might want to get your carriage cleaned properly when you get back to Stohess.” Mike said. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he backed up to give them room to leave. “It smells like someone died in it.”

 

Devlin watched him for a moment, not having even thought that he might have searched the carriage while they were away. Did he? She shrugged. “Everything around here smells like that. Don’t worry, it will be professionally cleaned as soon as we return.”

 

And with that, she snapped the reins and began the trip back to Stohess. This ride never seemed to get shorter, and it was only after an hour of hard driving that she was able to relax the tension in her hands.

 

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note: Elfrieda's current hairstyle, for reference: [She wanted me to share this.](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/238339005255773285/) Yeah, I need to draw these kids soon. I know.

Additionally, the poem quoted in the beginning is an excerpt from The Legend of the Swaffham Tinker. I didn't write that.

 


	11. Feather Fall: Speed of Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin rejoins the squad after his stay in the hospital, and the group has a little downtime after Trost. They decide to get a little weapons practice in when they are greeted by none other than Kenny Ackerman who makes them an offer of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! We find our heroes in yet another awkward situation in the interior. If you're just joining us, we're following a squad of MP's through canon events in the Shingeki no Kyojin-verse. There are spoilers present if you have not read the manga, so if you haven't read the manga I recommend that. If you're just starting here, go back to the beginning and start with chapter one. Returning readers: Thanks for your support! <3

**Speed of Darkness**

  
  


“I give up. What is this thing?” Devlin poked the heap of metal on Heinrich’s workbench. Since their excursion to Trost, the team elected to lay low and gather their resources.

 

“3dmg.” he replied simply, using a small hammer to tap a piece into place.

 

“Mangled 3dmg, maybe.”

 

“It’s a prototype. Theoretically, it should fly on its own without the need for cables.” Heinrich set the tack hammer down to inspect his work. “Though, it’s going to need more fuel than your typical kit. I figure you can maneuver more easily without worrying about getting tripped up in your wires, and not worry about accidentally shooting a wall instead of dropping a dull blade.”

 

“It’s a nice theory.” Devlin wrinkled her nose.

 

“Soon to be reality.” He flipped over the mass and began tightening what was to become the fuel line.

 

“I seriously doubt you’re going to be able to pull this off.” Devlin leaned against his workbench, absently searching the walls of his toolshed for anything interesting she could tinker with.

 

“Not with that attitude. You forget I’m a god-bless-ed genius.” He tossed a washer at her, which plinked off her shoulder and landed back on the table top. “Besides, it’s not like I’m doing anything really stupid like adding guns. This is entirely feasible.” He tossed another washer at her and blinked the moment she snatched it out of the air. “You know, your reflexes are still pretty terrifying.”

 

“Good. I have to have something going for me.” Dev set the washer down. “Anyway, I only dropped by to see if you’re up for running drills later. We’re all meeting at the shooting gallery in an hour to empty a few rounds into something that won’t bleed. Whattya think?”

 

“I think yes. And it’ll give me a chance to try out this new firearm I’ve been working on. It literally shoots a fireball and I find that very exciting.” Heinrich stood up and stretched.

 

“Arousing, even.” Devlin smirked and tried to push away the mental image of Elf with access to a gun that shoots fireballs. The world would burn.

 

“You said it, not me.” he grinned as the light caught his eyes. Try as he might to mask it, Heinrich had an impish quality about him that tended to show itself when he was happy. The laugh lines on his eyes were beginning to show his age.

 

“I’ll leave you to your work, then.” She smiled at him, and turned to go.

 

“Hey, Dev. You think we’re really cousins?” Heinrich leaned back in his chair, testing the structural integrity of the back two legs. Dev stopped and nodded lightly.

 

“I’d actually be shocked to learn we _weren’t_  related.” she confessed. “It just always seemed right. Plus, Elf seems to think so and that’s good as gospel for me.”

 

“I wonder what else Elf isn’t telling us.” Heinrich folded his arms behind his head. “And whatever else you might be keeping close to your chest. We’re going to have to talk about Kenny Ackerman. I didn’t realize you’d met him, and I didn’t realize that you suspected his involvement in Colin’s assault. That’s information I wish I’d had earlier because I would have known what to look for ahead of time.”

 

Devlin’s shoulders sagged as she exhaled. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t think it was related, and I thought that if he was stalking me he would only be interested in me-”

 

“STALKING you?! You think he’s stalking you and you didn’t think to tell any of us?” Heinrich rocked his chair forward back onto all four legs with a clatter. Devlin felt heat rush to her cheeks, both from embarrassment and the unbidden thought that there was the smallest chance they could have prevented what happened to Colin.

 

“It wasn’t...I didn’t...I didn’t want to worry anyone and I honestly thought I’d be able to deal with him on my own. Look, I messed up. That’s all I’ve done this past week is mess up--”

 

“Devlin, no.”

 

“...and I should have said something--” Dev was barely able to speak around the lump in her throat.

 

“Dev, stop. You’re spiraling and blame isn’t any good right now.”

 

“-But I didn’t and NOW look. We nearly lost Colin and now we’re losing Ailish all because I-.”

 

“Stop! That’s enough.” Heinrich was out of his seat with both of his hands planted firmly on her shoulders. Dev was suddenly aware of his enormous upper body strength as she tried to resist his grip on her. Even still, his face was calm if confused.

 

“No! Goddamnit, yell at me! Get angry for once! You say blame isn’t any good but I demand better of myself than this and if my failings hurt people I should be held accountable.” Devlin balled her hands into fists and clenched her jaw.

 

“Devlin, why? What is this desire for punishment and where is it coming from? You lead our squad but we’re adults and we make our own decisions and suffer our own consequences. It isn’t all about you and your decisions. We’re a team and if we fall, we’re falling together. If you want me to say that yes, you should have told us about Kenny, would that make a shred of difference?” He relaxed his grip on her shoulders before finally releasing her.

 

“A little.” Dev breathed. “I am making it a personal mission to keep our squad’s safety my first priority. I don’t trust these shadows and I see Kenny’s eyes in my head when I lay down at night to sleep.”

 

“What exactly did he do to you to bring about…” Heinrich gestured vaguely at Devlin. “All of this? Whatever this paranoia and guilt-laden individual in front of me is right now.”

 

Dev heard his question, but the dominoes in her head would not line up to produce the answer. What DID Kenny actually do to her? He hadn’t injured her. He’d never even touched her, and yet he was her own personal boogeyman. The dark was no longer a comfortable place despite having been a faithful companion for years. How long would it be before he made his intentions for her clear? What would they be?

 

“It’s so stupid Heinrich, I can’t explain it. He didn’t actually lay a finger on me and he didn’t have to. It’s like he has a finger on the pulse of my fears somehow. An unearthly sort of predictive quality. I am looking over my shoulder everywhere I go these days.”

 

“He’s a dangerous man, sure. But he’s only a man and even though the world is smaller now, it’s still large enough to make him insignificant.” Heinrich crossed his arms and relaxed back into his chair. “ You might be giving him too much credit.”

 

“I’m not. You heard what Annie said; the man that oversaw Colin’s assault matches his description. Cigar smoke in the woods of all places! It doesn’t travel far; that sort of smoke stays near the source. Someone was that close to us and I don’t like that I can’t see them. Mark me, Heinrich. He’ll make a move soon.”

 

“All right. Let me finish working on this and I’ll meet you at the range in an hour. The sooner these projects are finished, the more protection we’ll have against what we don’t know. As clever as any thug hitman is, I’m infinitely more intelligent.” Heinrich wasn’t bragging; if anyone had a shot at developing more sophisticated gear it would be him.

 

Devlin nodded and reached for the doorknob and hesitated before grasping it. “I hate this. I’ll do everything to see that we’re out from under this guy’s shadow.” She sighed before admitting, “ I’ll talk to Erwin Smith again if I have to. I feel like he might be more help in a situation that might otherwise endanger Nile’s position.”

 

“Never thought I’d hear that from you.”

 

“Mark it down on the calendar, then. See you in an hour.” Dev slipped out of the workshop, screen door tapping lightly closed behind her.

 

“Stay safe.” Heinrich spoke quietly, half to himself as he continued working on the incongruous heap of metal parts in front of him.

 

*************************************

 

“Oh, ho ho! Look who finally decided to show up!” Colin leaned awkwardly against the fence that encircled the shooting range. His eyes were tired, but his smile was warm. Dev blinked a moment before running to his side to engulf him in an enthusiastic hug. “Ow! Careful! Careful! I’m glad to see you, too.”

 

Dev dialed back her enthusiasm so as to not aggravate his healing wounds. “ I can’t believe they let you out already!”

 

“More like I can’t believe it took him this long to break out. It must have been a serious injury.” Elf said airily as she reloaded her pistol.

 

“I’m well enough to be moving around, I think. I’ve always been quick on the mend, but I plan to take it easy just in case. I’m not keen on reopening any of these wounds, but I could not stay in that damned hospital any longer.” Colin hadn’t released Dev from his hug, yet.

 

“He literally sat and counted stones on the wall and floorboards five times while I was in the room. Aloud. For the past three days. I consider my role in his expedited release to be a mercy on the infirmary staff.” Ailish smiled and began to load her handgun.

 

“They’ll miss me.” Colin said, and smiled at Devlin. “But since I’m here, I might as well shoot something.” He walked over and began to assemble his rifle. Rifles were standard Military Police issue, but Colin’s had a couple of Heinrich’s upgrades that included a site and rifling in the barrel to increase his accuracy. For all intents and purposes, it was a sharpshooter’s weapon.

 

“Hey, when did they replace all of the targets with people shaped dummies?” Elf observed. “That’s really creepy.”

 

“Maybe they’re just little titans.” Ailish offered. “You’re right, though. This is uncomfortable. I’ll go see if they can swap them out before we get started.”

 

“No need.” a somewhat raspy voice responded from behind them. Devlin felt her blood turn to ice. “If you’re going to be in the MP, our number one offenders aren’t livestock; they’re people. You need to know how to take them down so they stay down. Real life training with practical applications; one of the perks o’ the job.” Kenny spoke more loudly than was probably necessary, with the drawl of a braggart and the conviction of a killer. He swaggered forward, spurs tinkling as he drew his six shooters from their worn holsters and deposited all six bullets into the center mass of the target nearest him. “Boom! Crime rate just dropped. Understand, kiddies?” He let out a satisfied laugh and bared his yellow teeth into an exaggerated smile.

 

Devlin’s face was stone, but her insides were a knotted quagmire. She couldn’t keep allowing this man to stun her into silence or haunt her steps. What does one say in a situation like this? Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Colin slide his rifle behind his back to conceal it.

 

“Understood, but disagree.” Heinrich’s voice sounded behind her. Elf was right about him; he was quiet and unassuming as the night when he wanted to be, and here he was again speaking up for Devlin while she searched for her voice.

 

“Aw, I know. You’re still hung up on the idea that killin’ people is wrong, right?” Kenny turned his attention to Heinrich, who stood roughly his height. “Let me tell you why you’re wrong. People ain’t people if they’ve given up their humanity. Crimes are committed by criminals, and if you want to try to separate the crime from the one committing it then you’re a fool. People are criminals for all reasons, but the law is the law. We are The Law in human form, and we do what we must.”

 

“It’s not all as black and white as that, is it? If we kill a killer, what then does that make us?” Heinrich quietly readied his own pistol for target practice, but kept his eyes on Kenny as he spoke. Loading a gun was rote for him in any situation; his hands knew what to do.

 

“Heh. That there’s a conundrum I ain’t never been sure about, but I know one thing. If the King wills it, then we’ve got God on our side, and your logic puzzle gets shot to shit in favor of the righteous.” Kenny smiled at Heinrich, the shadow cast over his eyes by his fedora concealing his expression a bit. Age lines on his face seemed deeper in the high sun of the afternoon. Heinrich raised his gun at the human target nearest him and emptied the chambers center mass, matching Kenny shot for shot. Kenny’s eyes followed to the target, then back to Heinrich. “I don’t know who you kids are, but I’m glad you’re on my side.”

 

“What side is that, Kenny? The MP? The King? God? Your own?” Dev finally found her voice. “The only one of those options that seems to align with your ‘ends justifying the means’ is your own personal convictions.”

 

“We all bring our personal convictions to the job, don’t we?” The ripper stepped closer to her, reloading his pistol. “You don’t know the King the way I do, Shoughnessy. There are few that do, and you’d do well to remember that.” The chamber of his pistol clacked back into place. “You can consider me the long, lawful arm of the King.”

 

“How does one earn an audience with the King?” Elf piped up, unfazed by the conversation and seemingly unaffected by the killer in their midst. Kenny turned his attention to her for the first time.

 

“Mostly you have to know the right people, and by people I mean me.” The dark, threatening look melted away from his features to shift into the Kenny Ackerman version of a friendly face, which appeared to be a cross between insane person and condescending parent. Elf’s own expression was quickly painted with a raised eyebrow of disbelief.

 

“OK. We know you, so how do we get a meeting with the King?” Ailish spoke, also seemingly unfazed by this man.

 

“Easy enough. Join my squad and I’ll ensure that it happens within the fortnight.” He answered Ailish and took aim at Devlin’s target.

 

“Done.” Ailish said. Devlin snapped her head to her squadmate, as the collective heads of Squad Shoughnessy moved to Ailish in surprise. “But,” she continued.” I retain membership in this one as well. This is my family and I’m not keen on leaving it. I know you understand family.”

 

Kenny fired a single shot into the heart of Dev’s human target before locking eyes with her, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth before he turned away. He turned his attention to Ailish fully and clapped her on the back with his free hand, loaded pistol aimed at the ground. Five shots remaining...why was Dev counting them?

 

“Alright, Ailish. You’ve got a deal. That is, so long as your squad leader agrees with your decision.” All eyes focused on Devlin again. She looked at Ailish.

 

“May we discuss the terms of multi-unit membership in private?” Dev asked slowly.

 

“Of course!” Kenny purred. “Take your time, but my squad’s going to take over this range in a bit for our weekly target practice, so no takin’ up too much of your own time before we have to kick you out. Savvy?”

 

No one moved to a private setting. Instead, Devlin began speaking calmly in the language they all knew from their childhood while standing directly in front of Kenny.

 

“ _Why on earth would you join his squad? Do you really want to take orders from this man? He’s a predator, Ailish._ ” Dev worked hard to keep her body language neutral, but inside she was burning with anger.

 

“ _Oh, I know he is. I’m not stupid Dev, but I can get us a meeting with the King. All of the answers we wanted can be teased out the closer to him we can get, even if it means I have to play both teams for a while here. I’ve spent time with their squad and I think that they’ll have my back if I need it. I know you guys will rip them apart if they don't._ ” Ailish also remained neutral, as though they were negotiating the price of eggs. Of course, the rest of the squad understood the language. Kenny lit a cigar as he side-eyed the group speaking in tongues to each other. Devlin felt a small measure of control return to her.

 

“ _Don’t be stupid, Ailish. We can find other ways to meet the King. We just have to stay on the course we’re on._ ” Colin entered the conversation.

 

“ _It isn’t stupid. It’s a solid plan. Don’t you guys trust me?_ ” Ailish played the trust card. Her squad family observed it laying on the figurative table in front of all of them. Colin bowed his head a little, and Heinrich narrowed his eyes slightly at Kenny. Elf shifted her stance and nodded lightly.

 

“ _Of course we trust you, Ai. I don’t like risking you being hurt or worse. Are you sure you really want to do this?_ ” Devlin felt a pit fall in her stomach as she said it, but Heinrich’s words from earlier echoed in her head. They were a family, but each had to be free to make their own decisions.

 

Ailish nodded firmly. “ _I won’t let you down, Devlin. I can do this for us._ ”

 

“ _In that case, you have my leave for dual membership. I do not know what his demands will be like, but consider your obligations to us to be first and foremost in your mind. If you feel unsure or you are asked to do something you cannot do, let me know and I’ll get you out of this._ ” Devlin looked at Kenny as he blew a smoke ring into the air, then shot a bullet straight through it recklessly into the air.

 

Colin switched back to the language Kenny could understand with a “Dude! Did you just try to kill a smoke ring? You can’t kill a smoke ring, man.”

 

Kenny looked at Colin and laughed, disarming the devil with a single remark. It was a mangled beast of a laugh, raspy and lacking conviction except where Kenny himself was the topic of conversation. Even his laugh seemed full of ego. Devlin decided she really hated him. 

 

“You have my leave for Ailish to participate in dual membership in both squads.” Devlin stated to the devil in a trench coat.

 

“Great!” He responded with a little more enthusiasm than was probably necessary. “I’ll buy you all a round of drinks later. Are you sure there aren’t any others in your squad that would want to join the most elite squad in the military police? I happen to have an opening for each of you, but don’t worry. Beer’s celebratory. No strings.”

 

“Hmm. I like beer, but I also like my life as it is, so I’m going to decline Kenny.” Colin spoke up, completely unaffected by the miasma that surrounded Kenny Ackerman. “I might stick for that pint, but I can hear every nurse telling me not to drink alcohol until next week. We’ll see which voice wins out when we’re done here.”

 

“And you? Tall, dark, and brooding?” Kenny asked Heinrich. Heinrich regarded him the way he regarded a rat rooting through a garbage heap.

 

“No thank you.” Heinrich said simply.

 

“We could really use a warrior like you. I’ve seen your files; this entire squads actually. Maybe I wasn't totally honest about not knowing ya, but readin' a file and sizing up the real thing is an entirely different matter.” He blew another smoke ring and looked at Elf. More warning flags in Devlin's mind.

 

Elfrieda responded by locking her eyes with Kenny, turning her arm and emptying her chambers into her human target’s head as casually as if she were shooting a watermelon. “No.”

 

“Daaaaaaaamn.” Kenny pulled the cigar out of his mouth. “Head shot! Six of ‘em! Hey, what are you doin’ Friday night?”

 

Elfrieda turned her head and reloaded her pistol. “Not you, so don’t bother.”

 

Kenny laughed with a slightly strangled tone Dev noticed was different from the other times. So, he had a thing for blondes, she thought. And also gross. “I’m only kidding. Just a joke. Don’t go squealing to Nile about it, all right?”

 

“No problem.” Elf rolled her eyes. Dev made no verbal promises.

 

“Well I’m gonna let you kids have your turn with the range here. My squad will be here shortly trying out some new gear. Devlin, feel free to stick around and observe if you want to. Ailish, you are required to stay. You have twenty more minutes. I’ll be watching from that guard stand over there.” he pointed. “Enjoy.”

 

Kenny retreated to the guard stand as he mentioned, a wreath of cigar smoke following him and dissipating as he walked. Devlin and Heinrich exchanged glances and nodded.

 

“We’re good on training for today.” Heinrich said. You guys want to stick around or?”

 

“Pub.” Elf said simply. “ I want to go to a pub. I am buying Colin and myself a drink.”

 

“I hear that.” Dev said. “You good to stay with him here, Ai?”

 

Ailish looked off toward the guard house. “Yeah. I can handle him. I’ll meet up with you guys at the pub later once my training is done.”

 

“You’re sure?” Heinrich asked.

 

“Positive. Trust me, Owen.” Ailish’s expression shifted to one of determination. Heinrich froze, not having been addressed by that name in many years.

 

“I trust you, Ai. Implicitly. I don’t trust Kenny Ackerman.” Heinrich replied. “Good luck.” He smiled at her.

 

The squad left the training grounds with a wave, leaving an excited Ailish that was full of purpose and determination. She practiced shooting the human shaped target and pushed down her discomfort. Somewhere inside, she knew she would struggle with taking a real human life. All she could do in the meantime is hone her skills and turn her skin to stone. She began her new mantra. “ _They’re not people, they’re just targets. They’re not people, they’re just targets.”_

 

After a while, Kenny approached her carrying a large wooden crate. “Now then, I wanna show you somethin’ we’ve been working on for my squad for a while. Special idea we had, so we’re gonna start you on it before the others arrive.”

  
He opened the crate to reveal a 3dmg covered in sawdust. No blades, which struck her as odd until she noticed that there were guns attached to the gear. Guns were not effective against titans. She swallowed as he helped her attach it to her harness, mentally repeating the mantra: ‘ _They’re not people. They’re just targets_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, just my opinion and you're welcome to yours, but I really hate Kenny Ackerman. We'll probably catch up with the Scouts next time after they venture back from their ill-fated mission and encounter with the female titan. 'Til next time!


	12. Feather Fall: Far Away Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devlin and Co are assigned to Karanese district, should the 57th Scouting Mission happen to end in devastating failure and lose custody of Eren Jaeger. Oh wait, it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another really damn difficult chapter to write, I must say. This is that point in the canon story where things start picking up at a steady clip and the best thing the reader can do is just hold on tight for the ride. Next chapter will follow the adventures of Squad Shoughnessy through the Battle of Stohess, so hang with me if you would. 
> 
> Fanfiction is daunting! Thanks for sticking with me! I might, just might, have to include some romantic interludes in this thing if these brain children continue on the paths they're on. To my tired eyes, I couldn't find many spelling or grammatical errors but I'm still sticking with the Manga Voice the SnK Manga has. I try to visualize what would fit in speech bubbles and frames as I go, which is a different writing style for me.

**Far Away Boys**

 

‘He really does have a nice house’ Devlin thought as she walked to her horse from Nile’s doorstep. Not too far from Stohess proper, but far enough that his children were being homeschooled. She wasn’t sure when she began giving up on the idea of having children of her own, but every time she met Nile’s kids it rekindled a flame of hope that just wouldn’t die. She pushed the idea out of her mind as she mounted her horse and heeled it to ride back to Stohess district and issue the squad’s orders for tomorrow. The sky rumbled lightly with the promise of rain to come, and the threat of lightning every rider shifts to the forefront of their awareness until they find cover.

Devlin looked up at the clouded morning sky and caught a raindrop in her eye. ‘Love you, too.’ she muttered to the air. The sky opened up above her in sheets of rain in response, soaking her through before she was even halfway through her ride. In a way, it was soothing to hear the way the rhythms of breath and hoofbeat blended with the splash of mud and the driving rain. Sometimes she wished she’d have joined the Scouts just to be able to spend this time on horseback. Of course, her pants were soaked, her harness was chafing from the wetness and was being stretched a bit out of shape. She’d have to retool it and oil it up later, but for now it was an annoyance. She mentally damned to the depths whoever made white pants standard military issue as she frequently did whenever their impracticality became a problem.

An hour of riding later, the gate to Stohess loomed ahead of her crowned in low-lying clouds. Garrison troops had doubled their forces at the remaining gates around Wall Sina since the attack on Trost district. Wild theories flew about why the Armoured Titan had not appeared, and the news media weren’t much help in this regard. She and her squad had elected to lay low for a while and train while Colin recovered fully, and they’d begun gathering resources at Heinrich’s place. Knowing that they were prepared in case they had to flee very quickly went a long way toward helping her sleep at night. She trotted through the gate with a nod to the Garrison soldiers who kept their heads down and their eyes low. Leave it to people in large groups to take a victory and turn it into something to be paranoid about.

She found her squad in the library as usual, sans Ailish. Colin had his head down on a table next to a cooling mug of coffee as he watched the rain plicking against the window. Elfrieda was writing in a book, her eyes betraying her not-quite-awake status. Heinrich looked up from the book he was reading as Dev entered the room.

“I have good news and bad news in equal measure.” she announced.

“Ugh. What is it? Just fuck us up.” Colin mumbled and sat up to sip his coffee.

“We’re going to Karanese District. If the Scout mission doesn’t go well, we are charged with apprehending Eren Jaeger to be taken into Military Police custody, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it. Our travel expenses and lodging will be covered, but if we get any wild ideas about traipsing off into the wilderness with Eren before he is given over to the Commander we’ll be in a world of hurt.” Devlin explained.

“Define “doesn’t go well”.” Heinrich stated.

“Well, if for example the Scouts cannot contain or control him and he proves to be an enemy rather than an ally.” Devlin shrugged.

“And we’ll be able to do that any better? Seriously the kid is better off with the Recon Corps than rotting away in here. Any word on his father’s whereabouts yet?” Colin was starting to wake up more.

“No. Unfortunately. And it seems the kid doesn’t know either. My hope for his well-being is fading.” Devlin unrolled their paperwork onto the table for them all to sign and return to the travel scroll she carried them in.

“That’s sad.” Elfrieda spoke up. “ We should have a memorial service for him so there’s some kind of closure for us, if not for Eren.” She paused. “I really want to meet the kid now that he’s all grown.”

“Barely grown. The kid is only 15 and he’s taking down Titans for us; it’s unbelievable the amount of bravery these kids have. He takes after his parents. Not as crazy as the Arlert family, but still a few less bats in the belfry.” Colin said.

“Ha. Funny you should mention them. Apparently their kid and Eren are inseparable, and that girl Grisha adopted not too long before the wall fell. What was her name?” Dev took a seat at the table and swiped a sip of Colin’s coffee.

“Mikasa Ackerman.” Heinrich stated. Devlin flinched at the name.

“Any relation to the Ripper? That’s not the most common family name.” Devlin furrowed her brow, uncomfortable with the connection and the girl’s proximity to Eren.

“No way to tell, but it’s possible. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all joined the Scouts together.” Heinrich closed his book and sighed.

“You’re worried about them.” Elfrieda observed.

“Well of course I am. They’re kids. They’re like our extended family. I like to wonder at what sort of adults they’ve grown into, but if the rumors are true they may be the saviors of us all.” Heinrich ran his hands through his dark hair, pulling it away from his face. “It looks like the victory in Trost was masterminded by Arlert and executed by the rest of them with the mutual support of all involved, including Pixis. I can practically feel the stuffed shirts in the interior shitting themselves from here. Titans or the government? Which is the greater foe to them I wonder.”

“Not so loud, Heinrich.” Devlin walked over to the library door to close it, carrying Colin’s coffee with her and drinking more. In return, Colin filled up a cup of coffee for her and slid her some toast.

“Should we tell Ailish?” Elf asked.

“I have a feeling we should wait for Ai’s report when she’s free. They’re working her pretty hard.” Dev sighed, her insides still uncomfortable with the thought. “So,” she stuffed a slice of toast into her mouth. “To Karanese with us. At least it’s closer than Trost. I want to see if I can gauge Mikasa Ackerman’s intentions for Eren.”

 

***************************************************************************************

 

They arrived in Karanese a little later than they anticipated. The Scouts were using the streets as their staging area as they prepared their horses and wagons. Because their mission was only concerned with the result of the Recon Corps return, there was no need to announce their presence. Elfrieda and Heinrich took to the streets in plain clothes to gather information. Devlin and Colin journeyed to the outermost gate to see what they might be able to catch a glimpse of the kids they were looking for. Every rumor she was able to dig up suggested he would be riding with Levi’s squad, so she figured if she found Levi, she’d find Eren.

Devlin’s breath hitched in her throat when she finally caught a glimpse of the boy as he secured his horse’s barding. He had Carla’s face and Grisha’s coloring, but those eyes hadn’t changed since she’d known him as a toddler. Bright green, full of hope and staunch determination. She was overcome with the urge to push through the ranks of Scouts and reintroduce herself to him, and quickly found her feet moving in that direction before Colin stopped her.

“You can’t right now, Dev. We’re in uniform, and our uniform held him prisoner and threatened him with pain of death both in jail and if he fails this mission.” Colin stood between her and the cluster of Scouts. Devlin pulled her MP jacket off and handed it to him.

“I know it’s selfish but I don’t care. We don’t know what’s waiting for them out there and this might be my only chance.” she protested.

“Don’t think that way. This kid can turn into a Titan. I’m almost feeling sorry for the Titans. Almost.” Colin glanced back over his shoulder to look at the kid, and Dev used that opportunity to step past him on the opposite side and run over.

“Eren! Eren Jaeger?” Devlin dodged a short redheaded girl that was finishing up her preparations. Eren turned his head towards his name being called, confusion apparent on his face.

“Hey! Who are you? You can’t be over here while we’re getting ready.” the redhead stated, crossing her arms. The rest of the squad turned to see what the commotion was about, fixing their stares on Devlin.

“I’m a friend of his father’s.” Devlin put her hands in the air to demonstrate that she wasn’t armed.

“Nice gun holsters. So you’re an MP? Friend, my ass.” a man with sandy colored hair spat on the ground in her direction.

“We were neighbors in Shiganshina. Stifle it. I haven’t seen this kid since he was a toddler and I always knew he’d be the one to make a difference in this world.” Devlin rolled her eyes at Oluo and looked back at Eren. His expression had gone from curiosity to a much more flattened affect. Devlin’s heart fell a little bit. “Eren, I owe your father my life and I want you to know that I’m rooting for you. Be strong out there.” she raised her voice just a little to say “ I hear these are good people. Experts in their field. You couldn’t be with a better group.”

“Unless he was in our group, in which case we’d be in the basement by now.” Colin called out. Devlin closed her eyes and exhaled.

“Oh yeah? You think so? Why don’t you come over here and tell that to my face, Unicorn boy?” Oluo pointed at Colin.

“Hey, we’re good at what we do. We didn’t make the top ten because we’re real good at making toast.” Colin continued, grinning like a fool and completely ignoring the glares of Squad Levi.

“H-hey you guys? Maybe we shouldn’t be fighting right before a mission. Shouldn’t we be more focused?” Eren spoke up. Devlin turned to look at him.

“You’re right, Eren. Don’t worry, we didn’t come to start trouble. Colin just can’t help himself sometimes. We’ll be out of your way promptly.” Devlin explained.

“Good. We have a lot to worry about right now, Shoughnessy. Colin, I’m glad to see you back on your feet.” Levi stepped between Devlin and Eren pointedly.

“They’re telling the truth anyway, Captain.” Eren said. “We were neighbors for a while back in Shiganshina. I thought for sure they’d join the Scouts when they enlisted. Why’d you guys join the MP? Isn’t that kind of like throwing your talent away?”

Devlin blinked. He was his father’s child. “I’ll make you a deal, Eren. You come back from this alive and I’ll tell you everything.”

In her peripherals, Devlin could just feel Colin and Oluo staring each other down.

“Ok. Deal.” Devlin couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she would be escorting him to the interior if he loses control. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it herself. “Seal it.” She extended her arm around Levi to offer a handshake. Eren took her hand, locked eyes with her, and shook it firmly. She nodded and released him.

“Thank you, Squad Levi. I’ll take my leave.” Devlin turned to go and began walking back to Colin. Behind her, Levi followed.

“You’re playing a really dangerous game here, Shoughnessy.” Levi half whispered to her.

“You really have no idea.” she responded.

“If you’re planning on following us, don’t. I’ll have you arrested.” he stated. It wasn’t a threat; it was a promise.

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I don’t know a thing about your long range formation and I don’t want to screw it up and cause loss of life because I’m being selfish. We have a job to do, and so do you.” she stopped when they were out of earshot from the squad.

“And what might that job be? I know why you’re here.”

“Just following orders, Levi. You need to understand something; I do my job so that you can do yours. What we do pales in comparison to what you sacrifice. I’m not stupid. I need to ask you some questions about one of your scouts. Mikasa Ackerman. I know Grisha adopted her, and I know her family lived in relative seclusion. That name, though...I can’t trust that she isn’t related to --” she stopped speaking when she noticed Levi’s expression change to something that could pass for apprehension on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Just names. Mikasa isn’t someone you need to worry about. I’ve never seen anyone more stupidly devoted to someone. She’s been pretty clear that she thinks I did Eren wrong in the courtroom when we won custody. The only liability I’d worry about with her is doing something stupid to keep Eren safe.” Levi regained his composure with record speed.

“It’s good that he has someone looking out for him. That makes me feel a little better.”

“Jaeger has quite a few someones looking out for him, including yours truly.” He looked at her, pointedly. “He’ll come back alive. Probably. We don’t make promises in our profession, but Erwin isn’t keen on losing him.”

Devlin nodded. “Thank you, Levi. I’m sorry I upset your squad.”

“Next time find me first.”

“Will do. Good luck out there.”

“No such thing.” he muttered and walked back to his squad. Devlin felt anxious. She looked at his squad; each member in turn, and each was an accomplished warrior. She caught Eren’s eye, and he nodded at her. She couldn’t help but smile and turned on her heel before he could see her tears well up.

“So you and Levi seem close.” Colin made a face.

  
“He helped me out in saving your life, and now he’s helping me again. He’s got a disagreeable demeanor, but he’s a good soldier. Lots of heart.” she wiped away the tears before they had a chance to fall.

“Wow are we talking about the same guy? We’re talking about Captain Restingbitchface over there. I mean, I bet he even pets kittens with that look on his face.” Colin was beginning to sound suspiciously like he was jealous.

“Oh, he probably does. That mental image is one to tuck away for a bad day.” she smirked. “Come on, let’s go find the others.”

“Sounds good. Before I have to take you prisoner as a changeling and try to track the fairy that stole away the real you. You never get this emotional in public.”

“Oh, but I get plenty emotional in private.” she smirked.

“You don’t say.” he raised an eyebrow.

“ I do say.” she pulled her jacket back on.

“Tease.” he grumbled. She elbowed him lightly.

“Hey, I’ll buy you a consolation beer.” She strolled down the street, skirting the line of Scouts until she caught sight of Heinrich and Elf.

“Not enough. I want a sandwich, too.”

“It’s a deal. Oh my word, is that Arlert?” Devlin burst into laughter and clapped her hand over her mouth. Colin looked to where she was looking out of curiosity and spied a slip of a boy with a mop of blonde hair and focused blue eyes.

“Has to be.” Colin grinned.

“Why hasn’t his haircut changed since he was 4? Does he know it looks like that?” Devlin stopped laughing as her thoughts lead to a dead end realization: the kid might be marching to his death in a few minutes and she was laughing at his hair.

“I’m sure he does. I think it looks fine. It’s definitely a familial trait, so maybe that’s why he keeps it that way. Elf does the same thing.” Colin said.

“He does favor his mother.” Dev said quietly. “Should we go say hi?”

“He’s shaking enough as it is. Let’s not make him think he’s under arrest to boot.”

“Alright.” She nodded. “He’s shaking and he’s still going through with this?” The blonde Arlert boy must have felt eyes on him, because he turned and looked directly at them. He exhaled and set his jaw in quiet determination. Colin smiled and gave him a thumbs up, and the kid nodded in response and mounted his horse.

“Feisty little fucker though. I feel so proud. Shiganshina, first to fall, last ones standing. I can see it now.” Colin grinned. “Us too, of course. To the brave belong all things.”

“Then we have our work cut out for us.” Devlin sighed as they finally closed the distance between the other half of their squad. Elfrieda looked like she might explode.

“Did you see Eren?!! What about Armin? I saw Mikasa! She looked like she was ready for a fight. Stone cold. Oh! And Jean! Apparently he joined the Scouts! Who’da thunk?” Elf was talking so fast that Devlin was struggling to keep up.

“Wow, Elf. You’re at an eleven, and I need you to dial it back to about a five. But yeah, we spoke with Eren briefly. Armin was a bit too occupied for a chat but Colin gave him the old thumbs up.” Devlin explained.

“All our babies are heading out to destroy the Titans. Doesn’t it just bring a tear to your eye?” Colin was adopting that lilting voice of his he always had when he was content with screwing around. Devlin had missed that. Heinrich was watching the crowd like a hawk hunting for a mouse.

“Hey so, do you think I can ride out with them? I want to kill some Titans too. Protect our babies. Win win!” Elfrieda was practically vibrating. “Also I found Moblit. So sad, I could not reach him.”

“Nah, we have to wait here. Levi specifically said he’d see us arrested if he found us out there and I hate to agree but he’s right... and Nile would raise hell.” Dev explained. “Let’s go grab lunch and find a place to stay for the night. We’ll have a couple hours to theorize what’s in Grisha’s basement anyway, and hopefully we’ll know for sure when the Scouts return from Shiganshina.”

“It’s a tunnel. Leads to outside the walls.” Heinrich said boredly.

“What makes you say that? That’s so anticlimactic.” Colin said. “I bet it’s this enormous laboratory full of weird things and girly magazines.”

“That would be why he had to lock it. Carla would have killed him.” Elfrieda said seriously.

“Whatever it is, I hope it makes it back to us. Along with all of its couriers.” Heinrich said, walking into a pub.

“I’ll drink to that.” Colin said as the three followed suit, surrounded by the sound of bells and whooping voices in the crowd signaling the launch of the Recon Corps 57th Mission.

 

****************************************************************

  
The bells rang out again that afternoon, sooner than anyone expected. Squad Shoughnessy was in a bookstore when they began their heavy toll.

“So soon?” Elfrieda asked as she shelved the book she was looking at and ran out into the street.

“That’s not good.” Colin popped his head out from around a bookshelf and ran after Elfrieda. Heinrich and Devlin were hot on their heels, speeding out of the bookstore and tearing down the street. The four were running against the sun, hearts in their throats as they braced themselves for what they were about to see. The Scouts had begun performing at a much lower casualty rate since Erwin Smith took over as their Commander, but to return from a mission so soon could mean nothing other than some form of defeat.

‘Who would it be this time? How many graves?’ Dev tried to push positive thoughts into her head to drown out the death knell of the bells. In her mind, all she could see were the faces of those she knew. Eren. Levi. Erwin. Hanji. Moblit. Armin. Jean. When had she grown to care this much about a couple of Scouts? She knew that despite Nile’s sometimes abrasive method of communication with and about Erwin, he worried about him. Old friends on different paths. Being friends with people who risked their lives like this took a special type of person, she decided. Who wasn’t going to return? Devlin was faster than the others in her squad and overtook them fairly quickly to obtain a good view of the survivors as they began their walk of shame.

Defeat was carved into their faces. She barely recognized some of them as she searched their eyes for some explanation. There were so much fewer returning than had set out earlier in the day. What were the odds for all of her friends to make it back? A fool’s hope.

She spotted Erwin first and exhaled a small sigh of relief, even though he wasn’t sitting as tall in his saddle as he was earlier. She spotted Levi walking alone speaking with an older civilian man and her breath caught in her throat again when she realized what was peculiar about this. Levi was alone, and his mask of composure was beginning to crack. Eren. Where was Eren?

“Eren’s in that wagon over there.” Heinrich pointed as it rumbled toward them. He’s been bandaged up but he looks ok otherwise. Mikasa is with him.”

“Jean and Armin are over there. Arlert looks like he got a bump on the head but aside from that, I think they’re all just grieving.” Colin spoke up behind Dev.

“Moblit and Hanji made it back, too.” Elfrieda breathed. “Thank goodness. Oh wow, when did I start caring about these people so much?”

“I’m asking myself the same thing.” Devlin murmured. “I can’t believe our friends all made it back.”

“There’s your answer right there. You consider them friends. Of course you care.” Colin said.

“This isn’t the doing of normal Titans. Something big happened out there.” Heinrich observed.

“Maybe it has something to do with all the explosives and stuff they hauled out there earlier today? I saw them load up the wagons and thought it might be a bit much for just the haul to Shiganshina and back.” Elf said.

“Wait, what?” Heinrich snapped his head around to look at Elfrieda. “What the hell? So they were _expecting_  a fight this big? What exactly were they planning on fighting?”

“Maybe that Armored Titan. Maybe they thought the spy might have been a Scout and tried to flush them out by baiting them with the basement contents and the promise of open territory.” Devlin attempted to fill in the blanks.

“So, you’re suggesting that a human being murdered all of those Scouts on purpose to get at the basement? Why would they do that? Why not just get to the basement without killing all those people?” Colin said.

“Then maybe the basement was not their objective this time. It had to be something else. Wait. Where’s Squad Levi?” Dev looked around again.

“I don’t think they made it back, Dev.” Elf said quietly. Her voice sounded soft and strange; lower than usual.

“They didn’t make it back but Eren did?” Colin asked incredulously before his expression shifted to one of horror. “Oh my god.”

Elfrieda hung her head, gripping her skirts with her fists. Levi’s words from the morning echoed through Devlin’s head. Erwin was prepared to protect Eren at any cost, as was Levi, as was his squad, and now they would have to relieve the Recon Corps of Eren Jaeger and bring him back to the Military Police as though the cost meant nothing. Devlin didn’t know how to stop this; she had her orders.

She locked eyes with Erwin Smith for a moment and nodded, he simply lowered his eyes and paused his horse next to her to say “Give me a couple days. I’ll send for you when it’s time to take Eren back.” He didn’t wait for her response, just continued on down the street.

“Heinrich, I need you to figure out what happened to them. Get me as much information as you can. Elf, you do the same. Colin, we’re going to go secure sleeping quarters.” Devlin spoke firmly, but not loud enough for the Scouts to hear.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could swear she saw people throw vegetables at the remaining Scouts.

“I’m going to go make a couple of arrests today. Colin, you’re coming along.” Devlin and Colin pursued the food throwers and parted ways with Heinrich and Elf as they disappeared into the crowd. Devlin only had a few days to come up with a plan to convince Nile and Zackly to let the Scouts keep Eren, and she had next to no information to work with.

 

*******************************************************************

 

“Ok, load em up. Eren rides in this carriage, and the rest of you are to ride in the other with us.” Devlin issued orders to the MP escorts that had arrived with a train of carriages to transport what they viewed as errant Scouts. A carriage was considered a luxury, likely secured by Nile who still refused to end all semblence of friendship with Erwin Smith.

Elfrieda gripped Eren’s arm and helped him up into the carriage. She hadn’t yet had an opportunity to say anything to Eren, and she wasn’t going to waste what might be her only opportunity. She clambered into the carriage quickly and pulled handcuffs off of her belt, sitting directly across from him. The boy kept his head low and stared blankly into his lap.

“Hey, Eren.” Elfrieda started. “ I’m really sorry we’re meeting again like this. I don’t want to do this any more than you do, but we have to play the game, you know?”

The boy didn’t move much, keeping his head low.

“I’m Elfrieda. I knew you when you were really tiny. You got a lot taller.” she tried to be cheerful, but the boy still didn’t respond. “Can you even hear me? Are you ok?” she knelt down in front of him to try to get a good look at him and make sure he wasn’t going to be sick. She studied him a moment and realized that something was off, but she didn’t know what. It was as if he was purposely avoiding eye contact. She reached out and carefully lifted his head by the chin and blinked when she realized she recognized this face and it wasn’t Eren.

“Jean?!” she hissed. The tall boy made a pained face and reached out to cover her mouth with his hand. Elfrieda put her hands up in surrender, her eyes wide.

“Don’t. Tell. Anyone.” he hissed back, biting back panic at being discovered. Elfrieda didn't miss a beat.

“Damn did you get lucky with me being the one to put you in here, Eren. Anyone else might have roughed you up or something. You’d be lucky to make it back to Stohess in one piece you monster.” Elf raised her voice to normal conversation levels. “I gotta cuff you.”

Jean stretched out his hands while Elfrieda placed the cuffs on him, sliding the key into his front pocket. She whispered to him before leaving the carriage, “Thank you, Jean. It’s a gamble for sure, but thank you. We’ll do what we can.” And with that, she winked at him, hopped out of the carriage, and closed the door leaving a bewildered Jean behind sweating in a chocolate brown wig. 


	13. Feather Fall: Screaming at the Wailing Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. Gore, torture, rape mention in this chapter. UNPLEASANT THINGS.
> 
> The Battle of Stohess remained a Pyrrhic victory for the Scouts, but for the residents and the MP stationed there, it was a price that many of them were not willing to pay. We follow Squad Shoughnessy through the fight and the aftermath, and we learn what happens to those who ask too many questions. 
> 
> Also featuring a little bit of Moblit as the secret badass he is.

**Screaming at the Wailing Wall**

 

When destruction came to Stohess, she flew in on bloodied wings and carved her name in stone and splintered wood. There had been no time to warn anyone or evacuate before the heavens opened in a flash of green fire and the ground wrenched and rumbled under them. Elfrieda was thrown from her spooked horse as the caravan bearing “Eren Jaeger” to the interior came to an awkward halt. Devlin fell forward from the driver’s seat of the carriage she was driving, but managed to stay in her seat as the team of horses jerked wildly to the left in a panic. The answering thumps in the carriage behind her indicated that Heinrich and Colin were being tossed about in the car itself.

 

“Elf! You alright?” Dev rubbed the part of her wrist that had been strained by the sudden jolt. Elfrieda pushed herself up from the cobblestones and inspected her scraped hands.

 

“Yeah, just scrapes and bruises I think. What was that?! It couldn’t be what I think it is, could it?” Elf limped lightly over to her frightened horse and pulled it close to her, speaking gently to soothe the poor animal.

 

‘The Colossal’, Dev thought to herself, swallowing down her fear. ‘Why is it here? How did it get this far out? Is wall Rose still standing? Don’t panic. Don’t you dare panic.’ She pushed down thoughts of Marco’s mangled body and the piles of corpses they left behind in Trost.

 

Heinrich and Colin untangled themselves and exited the carriage car bearing their weapons. The other MPs in the caravan were beginning to stir and panic, and that would quickly lead to people making rash decisions.

 

“Everyone please remain calm!” Devlin called out. “The people are going to need us very soon, so please take deep breaths and focus. You are the King’s own and we will show those other districts just how we handle things on our own turf.” She was surprised to hear her own voice sounded clear and controlled. The other MPs in the escort stared at her blankly. Uselessly. The turned away from her, some of them ran into pubs and others climbed into a carriage and drove off in the direction they came in. Dev felt rage grow within her.

“Alright you fuckin’ cowards! I have a job to do and I’m going to try to keep as many people safe as I can! Now either you do something to help or you get out of the damned street before I remove you myself!” Devlin wasn’t paid to watch her language.

 

Heinrich backed her up with a “That’s an order. If you wanna live you better do what she says.” He gestured to the feckless MP’s to haul ass.

 

Further ahead of her towards the very front of the escort, she heard Nile barking orders to the rooftop squad to investigate. That was all the encouragement Dev needed to release her cables and fly up to the nearest rooftop for a better view. Below, she could see Nile and Erwin speaking to each other, their body language a bit like two coiled snakes. She looked up towards the horizon and gasped. She’d seen titans, but not one like her, and this titan was decidedly female. She towered above the rooftops, muscled in ways the other titans were not. Her startlingly blonde hair concealed some of her face as it tumbled in the breeze. Devlin had never seen something something so beautiful and so grotesque at the same time. This titan stood in stark contrast to the ones she’d seen before, and all of a sudden she began to attack soldiers flying around her ferociously. She felt Colin and Elf touch down beside her and follow her gaze.

 

“Wow.” was all Colin could manage. A group of three MP’s zipped in front of them and pursued a path toward the female giant.

 

“That...whatever THAT is...female titan...has got to have a little person driving her. Look at the way she moves. It’s like she has hand to hand combat training.” Dev said.

 

“I agree. The gate’s intact so she had to be within the district already. Titans don’t just hop the walls. Why is she here?” Colin asked. The ground shook beneath them again with less severity than the first time as the Female Titan crushed something on the ground with a somewhat desperate looking kick.

 

“She must be looking for something.” Dev glanced back below to see Heinrich seeing off a squad of MP’s as they took to the rooftops. She did a doubletake when she realized the small man in the black suit standing next to Erwin was actually Levi, and was making no move to join the combat. There was no time to question as a second bolt of green lightning struck in the heart of the city, not far from where the female Titan was fighting soldiers. This time, all of squad Shoughnessy witnessed a titan form out of thin air, wrapping muscle and tendon around a skeleton which built itself instantly.

 

“Two?! There are two?! But if Eren’s down there, who is THAT?” Colin exclaimed before dodging a rain of bricks and debris. The squad regrouped on a rooftop a bit closer to the action.

 

“It’s Eren Titan. They used a decoy in the convoy.” Elf shouted over the sound of buildings breaking and glass shattering as the two Titans sent debris flying in all directions.

 

“WHAT?” Devlin shouted, both out of surprise and because she was having trouble hearing.

“Yeah. Look at him go!” Elfrieda turned her head to shield herself as pieces of glass plinked off onto the rooftop.

 

“Dev, if you stay up here you’re going to get hurt. We have to try to get residents to safety.” Heinrich joined them then.

 

“How can we predict which direction their fight will go?” Devlin watched the two Titans carefully.

 

“I don’t think we can; let’s just move to the areas we know are densely populated and try to clear them all out.” Heinrich shot his cables off towards one of the area parks. Devlin followed with Colin and Elf not far behind.

 

The square was crowded with people running and screaming. Devlin tried to shout over them but was only successful in being heard by a small group of people. She began to herd them towards the closest courthouse, deciding that marble would be more difficult to destroy than the other buildings. In true baby duck fashion, more people began to follow her group into the courthouse where she held the doors open widely. Colin lept up on the courthouse roof to shout to the square below and try to get their attention and draw them inside. Heinrich and Elfrieda were beginning to physically move people who were too terror stricken to do anything but sit frozen and stare. Just when things were beginning to move smoothly, events took a turn for the worse as the two fighting titans ran full speed for the square, turning sharply left before they hit the green and throwing more debris at the crowd. Elfrieda threw herself over two children, bracing for the impact of stone and wood that rained down on the crowd. People began to charge the door Devlin was holding open in desperation when Colin flew down to carry her clear. People entering the court room were beginning to slick the floor with blood  as they slid through the door and their wounds became more evident. The female titan turned nearby and dragged her hand through the side of a building to slow herself before facing her pursuer.

 

Devlin became so angry she had trouble focusing. Why would they bring a fight into a tightly populated area? Whose brilliant idea was this? Innocent people were going to die. The survivors were going to witness the grisly deaths of others right in front of them. None of them deserved this. Her composure broke free of it’s carefully crafted restraints and she growled in anger. In her rage, she began yelling openly at the Titans as if they could hear her.

 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!? THESE PEOPLE DO NOT DESERVE TO DIE! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BRING THIS FIGHT HERE! COME ON YOU GIANT BLONDE BITCH! BRING YOUR NAPE TO MY BLADES!” She wrested herself free from Colin and flew after them, nearly colliding with Hanji in the process.

 

“MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, GLASSES!” Devlin roared, hellbent on taking down the female Titan.

 

“Devlin STOP! You don’t know what she’s capable of!” Hanji called after her. “Don’t go that way!”

 

The Titans had other plans, though and the female titan was launched through the air in Dev’s direction and landed in a building, crumbling it to the foundation like a house of cards. The heat rolling off of the giants was unexpected and caused tears to form in her eyes as she braced herself against the sheer force of the titan flying through the air. Devlin narrowly managed to get out of the way before the male titan, Eren she assumed, ran her down. She dove into the relative safety of an alleyway before the shaking ground around her gave way once more to massive flying debris. On both sides of her, the walls of both buildings shook before the one on the left gave out and began to fall sideways. Devlin dove through a windowpane to avoid the falling wall as plaster, stone, and glass rained down around her. Time began to move slowly, moment to moment, and her senses expanded and hyperfocused. Glass glittered in the air, sparkling in the dust and slamming upon the unforgiving marble floor. She slammed into it and scrambled out of the way as the opposing building began to crumble against the room she was in. The air was jagged with the sound of groaning beams and snapping of bone as the occupants of the fallen building fell through their earthly belongings and the building collapsed around them. Their screams piled into her head, compressing into a solid stone of inescapable horror. Her arms were marred with cuts and glass as she stumbled to her feet to escape the building before it collapsed beneath the weight of the other. Her right leg howled and failed beneath her as she pressed onward through the pain. She didn’t remember how she managed to injure it, but it wasn’t working the way it should. It was the sort of pain that renders a person dumb and incomprehensible. It separates them from the world in a box of consuming sensation, and she pushed through on sheer adrenaline like an animal fleeing a hunter, unaware that it was already dead. She didn’t remember running (staggering) out into the street or the exact moment when Moblit scooped her off the ground, but her next clear memory was in the courthouse.  Heinrich was trying to force her to drink water, but she was struggling to stay conscious.

 

“Here, let me try this.” Moblit searched himself for a moment before he produced a small leather pouch. Inside were one-use sized bottles, headache powder, and a syringe. He assembled the syringe quickly with a fresh needle.

 

“You’re going to stick her with that?” She heard Colin ask. Good. He was safe. Two accounted for. Two more before she could sleep. “What is it?”

 

“Pain killers. Poppy derivative.” Moblit replied absently. Devlin felt a slight prick on her arm and a dull burning sensation.

 

“You just happen to carry those on you?” Colin spoke again.

 

“When you have my life, you do.” Moblit spoke seriously. “ But field medicine is my own sortof specialty and interest. It’s one of the reasons I’m in Hanji’s squad. Hanji can be maddening to work with, but we have access to some of the highest quality medicines in the known world.”

 

Dev began to feel a heaviness wash over her, and she struggled to continue listening to the conversation. She tried valiantly to fight the comfort of sleep. She could feel someone pulling glass from her arm gingerly, and washing the wounds as they re-opened.

 

“What happened?” she asked, sleep beginning to express in her eyes.

 

“Drink.” she heard Heinrich demand again, and she obliged him. The water was warm, but she drank it dutifully.

 

“What happened?” she asked again. “Is everyone ok?”

 

“Our squad sustained some injuries but nothing we can’t handle. Other squads suffered some serious fatalities, so we were lucky. Sleep and we’ll talk when you wake up.” Heinrich slid the drink onto a wooden surface; she could hear it but she couldn’t see it. She closed her eyes despite urging them to remain open. The pain gnawing at her leg and arms was beginning to melt away.

 

“Elf? Ailish?” her voice was papery and weak. She tried to lift her head to look around, but the room was darker than she expected. Nightfall?

 

“I am concussed.” Elf’s voice stated matter-of-factly somewhere in the room. Devlin relaxed some, resting her head back down onto someone’s lap. She opened her eyes and tried to figure out who they belonged to, but knees don’t really give much away. Male, she decided. Probably Heinrich.

 

“Ailish made it back from the capital an hour ago. She’s fine. She’s on cleanup duty now. She says she hopes you feel better and you stop making rash decisions.” Heinrich’s voice betrayed his disappointment with her, but to his credit he did not press the issue then. Devlin closed her eyes, blissed out with the aid of Moblit’s miracle painkillers. She could still hear what was going on around her, but movement wasn’t happening.

 

“I am concussed!” Elf repeated sounding slightly delirious. This was confirmed with a giggle and the sound of something flopping over.

 

“I’ll keep an eye on them.” Moblit said. Heinrich made an affirmative noise.

 

“And I’ll keep an eye on you.” Heinrich added.

 

“Me? Why?” Moblit asked.

 

“You came to our town to allow it to be wrecked. Forgive me if I’m a bit sensitive.” Heinrich responded bitterly.

 

“Oh.” Moblit managed. “Yes. It couldn’t be helped, and I hate that. No one wanted anyone to die. There wasn’t another way to capture the Female Titan.”

 

“Look what I can do!” Elf said. There was a pause before Colin told her to ‘Get down’.

 

Moblit continued. “I know this won’t mean much, but that Female Titan alone caused us grievous casualties. Unforgivable ones. She was responsible for the death of the entire Special Operations Squad except for Levi and Eren. Even Captain Levi was injured in the fight with her. Devlin is lucky to be alive having come so close to her.”

 

“That being what it is, and I’m sorry for loss of life, but I cannot see the justification for setting such a monster loose within this district. Surely you understand that this is a town, not a prime location for a Titan cage match.” Heinrich was upset. Rightly so.

 

“Yes. I understand that. But you must understand that there is information that you did not know and stakes that you are not aware of. We did not bring the Female Titan to you. She was already among you. She was an MP just like you. We couldn’t take the risk that she had other Titan allies. No one wants a repeat of Shiganshina here.” Moblit’s voice became more distant, as though he were speaking from the other side of the room.

 

“Oh yeah? Did I know her?” Colin piped up. “I’d remember a girl like that, I think.”

 

“I don’t know. Her identification is currently classified information.” Moblit was apologetic.

 

“We’re the Military Police. We deal in classified information. Just a first name, please.” Heinrich continued, his voice becoming distant as well.

 

“It doesn’t leave this room. So help me if it does, I will find you and I know 37 ways to render someone unconscious with three fingers.” Moblit spoke sternly, which surprised Devlin.

 

“You’ll have to teach me.” Heinrich responded. “Deal.”

 

“Annie.” Moblit stated. Devlin felt an icy wave wash over her body. She tried to speak.

 

“Heinrich...Heinrich...Annie from Trost...she...she took that gear remember? Isn’t she one of Eren’s classmates?” Devlin was struggling to make sense to herself, and her voice didn’t feel like her own. Whatever Moblit had given her was doing its job.

 

“Annie is a pretty popular name.” Colin said. “I have trouble believing that little girl could take out half of the scouts, the special ops squad, and wreck our town. Body count is ridiculous at this point.”

 

“If the Annie you know was one of Eren’s classmates, that’s her.” Moblit stated. “If there’s anything else you know about her, I’d like to hear it.”

 

Devlin couldn’t answer the question. She wanted to, but sleep was more important than anything else in the whole world right now, and she slipped into it effortlessly.

 

* * *

 

Whatever it was that was concealed beneath that tarp, Heinrich was going to find out. Any damage to the Wall that wasn’t standing sentinel between lost territory and occupied land was too minor in comparison to the shambles of Stohess for someone to bother mending already. He walked familiar streets; a shadow in a long coat to conceal his 3dmg. Around him the air was dank with the scent of gore and smoke. He was becoming familiar with the smell, but would never accept it as something he could get used to.

 

He imagined that it was likely more horrifying when it was your own town, and he told himself that he’d be kinder to the people of Trost the next time he was there. When he finally arrived at the Wall, he noticed that there were a group of MP’s camped out there, but he could not recognize faces. He wasn’t ready for them to be aware of his presence yet, so he walked in the opposite direction along the wall until its natural bend concealed his movement from anyone looking. For some reason, the Stationary Guard were nowhere to be found, which was unusual but worked in his favor for scaling the wall. Climbing these walls was never an easy task, but he was usually the first up in his squad to help pull the others up. He probably should have brought them along, but Elf was in no state to understand what ‘quiet’ means, Colin was too worried about Devlin, Devlin was sleeping, and Ailish was still cleaning up. If he was being honest, he was still upset with Devlin for losing her head the way she did earlier and winding up with serious injuries she probably wasn’t aware of yet. He should have left a note. Or something. At the same time, he didn’t want Devlin to catch flak for being aware of what he was doing. On any other day, his investigation wouldn’t have been difficult but there were blocks in his usual avenues of information and he wanted to know why.

 

He didn’t know how much time would stand between whatever damage was done to the wall and when it would be repaired, but there was something suspicious about it. For one thing, it was being guarded by MP’s he didn’t know and this was his territory. He wondered if their commander had any idea that this was going on. For another thing, there were over 20 smashed buildings, and the count was still rising on homes with property damage. Half of the city was still on fire, but they still managed to take time out to put a blanket on the Wall damage. He tried to ignore it, he really did, but there were too many things in his life that defied explanation for too long. He wanted to know.

 

He walked along the top of the Wall, noting that there were definitely no Titans moving about to the South which meant that the two that appeared had done so WITHIN his district. Irritating. Surely there had to be another way to smoke out a traitor than smoking so many innocent people up with it? The smoke was thicker up here and burned his eyes, but the firelight helped him see his destination better. The unusual MP encampment was far below, and he didn’t want to risk them hearing his 3dmg, so traditional rope would have to do the trick. He carefully attached the rope to the harness and began the dizzying backwards descent down the wall. The wind blew smoke in his eyes and waves into the cloth tarp someone had erected below. He’d have to move quickly or risk being spotted in the firelight. He froze when he heard commotion from below, but no one seemed to pay him any mind and he continued.

 

It was tricky; maneuvering himself so that he could peek beneath this makeshift curtain but it was almost too dark to see. He reached into his pocket and struck a match along the rough surface of the wall, and for a glorious few seconds the small shock of light illuminated the underside just enough to see into the hollow of the wall. He gasped and nearly dropped his hold on the rope supporting him when the light caught the eyes of a massive face not even 2 meters away from him. There was no way to prepare for such a thing; emotionally, physically....

 

_There were titans in the wall. Why were there titans in the wall._

 

The match burnt his fingers as it burned down and he flung it away, watching it blow out as it fell. Every bone, muscle, and survival instinct in his body told him to get as far away from this hole as possible. He would sort out the implications later. He climbed the rope quickly, finally aware of the aid that adrenaline was giving him and ran at top speed away from the hole as soon as his feet touched the top of the wall. Getting down from the wall always involved a leap of faith to sink one’s hooks in the right place and praying they didn’t jam on the way down. He took a set on the edge and waited to catch his breath before attempting the drop.

 

It was a long way down. He thought that every time he found his way up here. The view was fantastic, but the unusual shape of the walls and the air flow around them was disorienting. His thoughts finally caught up with him in rapid succession: _Titans in the walls. Why were titans inside the walls. Why didn’t they have skin. The ones without skin have almost always proven to be shifters so far. Why were there shifter people in the walls. How long have they been inside. How did they get inside._ There were too many questions and all of them pointed to singularly grotesque conclusions.

 

He was so deep in thought and so secure in his seclusion that he didn’t hear the person behind him until they’d already pushed him off the wall. He was falling; he knew this logically but his brain and his body were in different places. He turned in the air to get a look at his attacker, but instinct kicked in before he could register what he’d seen. He shot his cable hooks into the side of the wall and swung in a wide arc back towards the MP encampment. No way was he going to go away from where people were if he was being pursued. If he was going to be arrested, he wanted an audience.

 

He zipped his way to the ground and ran towards the center of the city. If he was lucky, Nile would still be in his office and no one would be stupid enough to try anything in front of the Commander. If he didn’t know about the wall titans, he needed to know. He kept his fingers on the anchor triggers, becoming hyperaware of his surroundings. He realized after searching his memories that the person that had pushed him was an MP. They weren’t wearing gear, which means they had relinquished it before they reached him. If they had wanted him dead, they should have killed him before the fall; pushing someone from a high place with gear on was just like cadet initiation. This was meant to scare him into silence, but it wouldn’t work. He didn’t intimidate easily.

 

He rounded a corner and was met with a cleaning party of Scouts and MP. Ailish. He spotted her instantly and ran to her.

 

“Hey!” he said, out of breath.

 

“Oh, hey!” she said, her gloved hands full of something flesh-covered. She didn’t seem enthused about the work, but her eyes lit up when she saw him. “Why the rush?”

 

“We need to talk right now. In private.” he breathed, avoiding the looks he was receiving from the others.

 

She blinked.” Okay, let me put this away first.” She walked over to the cart that was covered in bloodied white sheets, wrapped the contents of her armload and wrote the address on it, and gingerly set it in the cart. The lines around her eyes betrayed how tired she was. Heinrich watched her with sadness, wishing that no one had to perform these gruesome but necessary tasks. Suddenly, his arm was wrenched behind his back painfully and he was pushed to his knees.

 

“You are under arrest.” a female voice stated roughly.

 

“On WHAT charge?” he demanded, unable to move from the restraint. He was certain his arm may dislocate if he moved.

 

“Any charge his majesty wishes.” she replied, cuffing him. She pulled him to his feet, the eyes of the cleaning crew were focused tightly on him.

 

“A legitimate charge is necessary if you are arresting a member of the military police.” he growled. Ailish looked lost.

 

“Then perhaps a little behaviour modification is all you require.” The woman spun him to face her. He had seen the blonde somewhere before, but could not place it.

 

“You do not have the authority to dole out punishment without a crime.” He loomed over her.

 

“Use of 3dmg without authority is a crime.” she spat.

 

“Authority was granted this morning for our caravan.” he challenged.

 

“It was revoked hours ago.” she responded.

 

“By whom? My orders are the most recent.” he continued. He opted to make the biggest scene possible; witnesses would be valuable.

 

“By his majesty the King. Don’t forget who you serve.” she sneered.

 

“Then perhaps his majesty would be willing to clear up a simple misunderstanding without this display of dominance you’re dishing out.” Even in handcuffs, Heinrich was not going to stand down.

 

Ailish removed her gloves. “ I will escort him. You aren’t permitted to leave your watch at the Wall for such things. Those are my most recent orders, and yours.”

 

There was a moment of consideration between the two women before the blonde finally responded. “Take him directly to Sannes. Tell him...tell him that he was a successful spy.”

 

Ailish raised an eyebrow. “Very well. Return to your post immediately. I’ll take him from here.” She walked over and grabbed Heinrich roughly by the shoulder to push him forward on the path in front of them. The woman saluted Ailish and returned to wherever she had emerged from.

 

When they were far enough away, Heinrich spoke. “So, you have clout already.”

 

“They respect strength and skill. I have both.” she replied.

 

“Who is Sannes?” he asked.

 

“One of the Interior MP. They work independently of the brigades, as far as I can tell. Nile doesn’t seem to have any input or influence over what we do and I doubt he’d even know how to stop it. I’ve been busy. Yes, I really have to take you to him and I’m sorry.” she continued.

 

“Seems there’s a lot you know that you haven’t told us.” he replied bitterly.

 

She looked at him, her face softening. “There is a lot. I had no idea. But if I don’t follow orders, I’ll blow my cover.”

 

“What will Sannes do to me?” he asked.

 

Ailish lowered her eyes and bit her lip. “Be strong, Heinrich.”

 

“I beg your fucking pardon? I don’t care how far under cover you think you are; someone is going to know that we’re friends. Kenny knows. And barring that, you don’t turn your friends over to torture. That’s the kind of shit that forms a permanent break.” As he spoke, he noticed her eyes were glassy with tears building.

 

“I’ll try to think of something, ok? Shut up, shut up. I’m thinking!”

 

“Did you know there were shifter titans in the walls?” he continued quietly.

 

“SHUT. UP. I am trying to think!” she pulled him along as she passed a group of MPs who were filling out paperwork in the street.

 

“I just thought you’d like to know how deep this goes if the Interior is arresting me over it. Now you know it, too. Welcome to my hell.”

 

She stopped walking and slapped him. “I don’t remember giving you permission to speak. If you say another word before we reach HQ so help me I’ll cut your tongue out.”

 

He felt his heart freeze in his chest. Had she already done so to others? The thought drifted through his mind as his cheek burned from the impact. She had hit him pretty hard. This was serious. Heinrich knew then that his life was in danger. He remained quiet for the rest of the walk, running scenarios for escape over in his mind. He was still armed. No one had bothered searching him for weapons, and Ailish hadn’t taken any from him which was some small comfort. They walked into an unmarked building in a residential area. “HQ” was not what he expected it to be.

 

“Sannes.” Ailish saluted a tall man with dark hair that looked like if any man knew what a raw lemon tasted like, this man knew too well. “This man was arrested for being a successful spy. I am told you know what this means.”

 

“Ah.” Sannes looked at Heinrich. “He’s a member of the Military Police. I imagine there is some agreement we might reach here without rocking the boat.”

 

“Perhaps a simple behaviour modification is all that will be necessary, sir. No Scouts have been arrested this evening for similar crimes.” she continued. The room was lit only by oil lamps, but Heinrich counted at least six more MP in the room. No one he knew. He took a deep breath to keep his heart from racing. He could make a break for the door, but it’s likely he’d be shot.

 

“I don’t think any of that is necessary. I have no idea what any of that means and I have no idea what I’ve just seen. It doesn’t make sense to me.” Heinrich tried.

 

“Be that as it may, I’d prefer some added assurance that you will forget what you’ve seen. It’s not nearly as much fun for me to simply let you go.” Sannes crossed the room and stood close to Heinrich. He could smell cigar smoke distinctly on this man. And really awful cologne.

 

“What have I seen?” Heinrich asked, feigning innocence.

 

“Nothing. But just to be extra-specially sure, Ailish I’m putting you in charge of his behaviour modification. You could use the break from cleaning, right? And he is such a handsome boy, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Sannes walked to his desk and missed the face Ailish made at the suggestion. It was the same one she made the time she caught a fly in her mouth, but it was gone quickly when he looked back at her. “It’s true that repeated cranial impact will ensure some form of short term memory loss, but he’s an MP and we cannot afford to be messy.” He pulled a small wooden case from a leather bag that was sitting on the desk.

 

“Sir?” Ailish asked, as though confirming something in a code Heinrich didn’t understand.

 

“Follow me.” Sannes opened a door with a stairwell leading down, and Ailish followed as she pushed Heinrich in front of her. They found themselves in a stone room with shackles on the wall, and Heinrich grimaced inwardly. Sannes pulled a gun from the holster at his waist, and turned to face them both. “Strip him.”

 

“Sir?” Ailish was surprised. And uncomfortable. Heinrich was in trouble. Ailish hated formalities like “sir” and “ma’am”.

 

“The earmarks of the most effective torture methods are ones that resonate on a psychological level more than a physical one. We want him to equate his forbidden memories with memories of this room. I know, it’s the worst part of this job but you get used to it over the years. To be completely honest with you, it’s for his own good. Just remember that. Uncuff him first, and don’t worry. If he moves I’ll blow his pretty head off.”

 

“Rude…” Heinrich muttered. “This is completely unnecessary. Why would the King endorse this sort of thing?”

 

“Because it’s very, very, very important that the people do not know what you know. I’m sorry it has to be this way. I’m sure you’re a very good MP. It doesn’t matter how good you are in this line of work. In fact, it doesn’t even matter what you know if you know the right people, but son? I’m sorry, you don’t.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Sannes. I’m Heinrich. And I’m really fucking solid with keeping secrets. You don’t have to worry about this.” Heinrich could feel Ailish unlocking his handcuffs. He didn’t know this guy, but he was pretty sure that in a fight for his life, he could take him and win. If he did that, though, he’d have to take down Ailish too for her own sake. He wasn’t sure he could do that, but she seemed perfectly ready to do the same to him.

 

“Ah, hello Heinrich. I’m sorry about all of this, but it’s for your own good. Be a good lad and listen to Ailish. This is her first time down here but I’ve heard good things about her skill. In our world, this is a rite of passage. A promotion.” Sannes smiled. Heinrich felt nauseous. His hands were free though. He rubbed his wrists to test how much movement this asshole would allow him. The answer came in the form of Sannes drawing the hammer on his pistol back. “Strip him.”

 

Ailish obliged. She removed his jacket and his harness the way a surgeon might; cold and without investment. She stood eye to eye with him, her eyes were indecipherable. He had known her his whole life and he could not read her. She dropped her eyes away from his and unbuttoned his shirt. Everything about this was wrong. She had to be feeling something, he thought to himself. This had to be upsetting her, but she’d grown a mask that he didn’t recognize. It was almost as if he no longer knew the girl standing in front of him. She knocked him over with a fist to his stomach as she would have done to a drunk that harassed her in a pub. She hated that sort of behaviour, and here she was doing the same to him.

 

Detached. That was the word for it. She was detaching herself from her actions. She was operating on autopilot.

 

This was torturing her as much as it would torture him. He couldn’t let her do this, but he also didn’t particularly want to be shot. He coughed from the blow to his gut, and let her take off his shoes and trousers. She was careful enough to keep his weapons concealed in every garment she removed. This gave him the slightest glint of confidence.

 

“Good lad. Your cooperation is appreciated.” Sannes pushed Heinrich against the wall and held him with a hand to his throat while Ailish shackled him. “You’re lucky. If you were a lady, we’d have approached this differently. You wouldn’t believe how many guys jump at the opportunity to modify the behaviour of female prisoners. It’s disgusting. So’s the reverse if I’m honest, but hey. Equal opportunity extends to the military, does it not?” He released the chokehold.

 

“Why the fuck do you do it, then? I already told you I wouldn’t say a word.” As mild a complaint as it was given his situation, Heinrich was cold.

 

“Because the world is cruel, and if you want to stay on top you do whatever you need to do to get there. I’ll let Ailish take over from here. Do what you want with him; he ain’t movin. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been with a man, Ailish but if you wanted to ain’t nobody here gonna say nothing.” He tossed her a keyring. “Don’t come up here until he’s done, and if you use the drug make sure you stick to 10ccs. Show me something good, girl or you’ll need some modifying yourself.” He holstered his pistol and walked back up the stairs as if this was just another day of work for him. The door closed above them.

 

Ailish nearly crumbled in front of him. “I am so sorry, Heinrich. I’m so sorry. They’re going to need evidence or I’ll be in serious shit. You see the kind of people they are.”

 

“What drug is he talking about?” Heinrich tried to keep his cool. He wanted to hug Ailish, but he also wanted to stab her. The second of these emotions were new to him.

 

“It erases memory. I’m not sure how. I guess it goes after a certain part of the brain or something, but it comes with a lot of risk. It will also render you useless for a while. Like a noodle.” She sniffled and tried to regain her composure.

 

“I guess you’re lucky it’s me.” He said slowly. “I dare not think about how dealing with others would affect you.”

 

“Honestly, it’s a million times worse. I don’t want to lay a finger on you, but it’s better for both of us if I do. Please try and understand this. Search your heart and see if you can find forgiveness in it one day.” She took the box and assembled a syringe.

 

“If we’re being honest, that will depend on how worth it this little charade of yours will prove to be. What happened to getting us an appointment with the King?” He tested the strength of the shackles on his wrist, trying to see if he might be able to slip out of them.

 

“You getting caught greatly lessens our chances of that. In which case, you’ll all have to rely on me to meet the king in our stead. But I will, Heinrich.” She walked to a small table in the room he hadn’t noticed before and picked up a scalpel.

 

“So what are you actually required to do to me?” he said, eyeing the knife in her hand.

 

“Whatever I want, so long as the treatment is effective. They want you to believe that I drugged you and raped you, but the shit part about it is this: you know I’m not going to do that but when I give you this drug, you won’t remember that I said this and that I didn’t. I need you to believe in me, Heinrich. You know I’d never do that to you. And it’s this faith that I hope you have in me even now that I’m gambling on.” She walked over to him carefully, holding the scalpel in her hand. “And unfortunately, I have to tie this into the atrocities committed today by the Scouts. I’m learning that only half of the things the Scouts do are accurately blamed on them. “

 

“You sound bitter.” he commented. His stomach was turning knots because he honestly had no idea what she might do. He trusted Ailish with his life, but this woman in front of him was not the girl he knew. What had they done to her? He searched her face for answers and found none. She was frightened. Her hand was shaking. One screw up and she’d be compromised. He collected every ounce of bravery he had available to him and uttered, “Do what you need to do. Whatever you need to do.”

 

She bit her lip and answered him with the searing, white hot pain of a scalpel being dragged across his chest. He heard a voice scream, and realized that it was his own. She continued carving on his chest, with tears streaming down her face. The pain was great enough that he began to drift somewhere out into the room, watching the two of them from above. “Freiheit” she had written. His blood was dripping down the front of him and staining his undergarments. It covered her hands. He watched her as she picked up the syringe and knelt down next to him.   
  


“I’m so sorry, Heinrich. I am so, so sorry. We’ll get out of here one day. As soon as we can. All of us. We’ll go home. Please hold on. Please come back to me. If you don’t, I will never forgive myself. Ever. I don’t want to become the type of person that hurts other people. I don’t want to do this to anyone. I’ve learned; I can’t pull the trigger on a person.” She was stalling, he realized. Whatever was in the syringe scared her, or at least it scared her more than what she’d already done.

 

He felt vibrations in his throat, and watched his lips move which in hindsight was the weirdest sensation he’d had to date. He heard his voice say “I’ll forgive you if you promise me something. Promise me you’ll never kill another human being.”

 

He watched her consider for a moment. “Even if I’m ordered to, Heinrich. I’ll refuse. I’ll refuse and you’ll know I kept my promise.”

 

This seemed to satisfy at least the part of him that was the heap of bloody human on the floor with his arms shackled up, because he nodded. She injected him quickly with whatever mystery drug was in her syringe. He began to see through his own eyes again for a moment, watching her face as she quickly tossed it aside and began putting clothing back on him. He couldn’t move at all. His skin tingled when he was touched, but his vision was beginning to fade.

 

He fought it with all his might, desperately seeking consciousness only to find himself chasing it’s coattails. All of a sudden, he felt nothing. He wasn’t sure where he was, but that was ok. The only thing he could feel was velvety darkness and the lightest brush of softness against his lips before he slid into the void.

  
  
  


When he awoke, he was in a hospital somewhere. It looked impossibly clean. The air smelled clear, and a glance out the window revealed a bright blue sky. He looked down at himself to see that he was wearing a hospital gown.

 

How did I get here? He wondered. The last thing he remembered was falling, but the details were fuzzy. How long have I been here? What day is it? He felt something in his hand which revealed itself to be a ball of crumpled paper. He sleepily uncrunched it and read the words “I promise. -Ailish”

 

What? Promise what? He balled the paper back up and held onto it as a nurse made his way over.

 

“You’re awake! Great! I wasn’t sure  you were going to wake up after how much blood you’d lost.” he pulled out a thermometer and stuck it in Heinrich’s mouth without ceremony. “While you’re just sitting there sucking on this, I thought I’d tell you. You’re still in Stohess. You’ve been here about a week. Your friends say get well soon. My name is Mark and I’m your nurse for this shift.”

 

He removed the thermometer. “Looking good, hooray! I think we’ll be able to let you out in a day or so. Depends on if you understand important things like your name and where your feet are.” He was loud, Heinrich decided.

 

“Uhh...I know my name. What happened to me?” Heinrich asked, his throat unwilling to participate in this speaking exercise. He sounded like a frog might if a frog tried to speak English. Mark, the enthusiastic young nurse, handed him some water to drink.

 

“Jury is out on that, but it looks like a hate crime. Witnesses say they found you in an alley with writing on you. You took an awful long time to regain consciousness, so I’m willing to bet they drugged you too.” Yes, this nurse was louder than he should be. Heinrich’s head was pounding.

 

“Hate crime? Why? I don’t hate anyone.” Heinrich didn’t bother hiding his confusion.

 

“Seems you might have made an enemy of some loose cannon in the Scouts.” Mark nodded. “Or you agreed to a really sick body modification to allow the word “Freiheit” to be carved into your chest. Bold statement, though. It’s a little tiny bit badass.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Right. You just woke up. I’ll let the front desk know and check back in a while to help you to the bathroom. Sound good?”

 

“Sure…” Heinrich rubbed his head. He felt the corners of his mind struggle against some kind of mental wall that was staunchly against him recalling any memory of what this young man described. He did have to use the bathroom though. He wondered if Devlin was doing alright. Mark had said that his friends seemed to know, but was he talking about his Squad or? Too much thinking. He relaxed and looked back out the window, desperately trying to recall something. Anything. He knew that information was in there...he could feel it struggling to surface but they just couldn’t push through. _What the hell did they do to me?_

 

 


	14. Feather Fall: Light of a Fading Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the battle of Stohess, we catch up with the shambles of Squad Shoughnessy as they fight to regain their bearings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are, Chapter 14. That's unreal. You'd think my writing would improve by now but naaaah. Thanks for sticking with me! This Chapter dives a bit into the recovery processes of people who have exceeded their personal levels of how much trauma they can take in a week. Devlin and Nile face off with some uncomfortable facts, Colin and Heinrich have some bro-time, and Elf goes on her own little adventure. Some aaaangst.
> 
> Also as a note, in the first chapter I refer to Heinrich's original name having been "Eoghan". The rough pronunciation is the "Owen" many of us are more familiar with, which is why I chose to use "Owen" in later chapters.

**Light of a Fading Star**

 

_Tick. Tok._

 

_Tick. Tok._

 

Devlin was seated across from Nile in his office, and both of them were hesitant to break the awkward silence. Devlin crossed her leg gingerly, as it was still tender from the wound she received. Moblit was able to remove the wooden stake she’d impaled herself with, but wounds like that take a while to heal. It was fair to say that Devlin was in pain. It wasn’t just a little pain; rather it was an aching, anxious, pain that would not relent without the aid of painkillers. To make matters worse, she had to rely on a walking stick for another couple of days.

Disgruntled. Annoyed. Disheartened. Concerned. Angry.

 

All of these things adequately described Devlin’s mood and the look on her face. Nile wasn’t faring much better, but all of his wounds were of the emotional variety. He hadn’t shaven in at least a couple of days and the dark circles under his eyes spoke volumes on their own.

 

“So.” He began.

 

“So.” She replied.

 

“You’re looking much better,” he said, without a hint of levity.

 

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” she replied flatly.

 

“Permission reluctantly granted.” Nile poured himself some rye and braced for impact.

 

“Do we even understand what just happened to us these past few weeks? Are the dead and wounded all accounted for? Will the Recon Corps be footing the bill for the destruction to the district and making reparations to all the families who lost loved ones? We’ll start there.”

 

Nile shot back his whiskey and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

 

“We were able to smoke out a spy. Having heard the entire situation, as dubious and disgusting as it was, I understand why these choices were made. I am not decided yet on whether I feel it was the right choice. As to destruction, the merchant’s guild is helping them rebuild. Some of the fallen buildings are being funded by nobles to replace them.” He leaned back in his chair. “As to the lives lost, the only thing I can think of is to do our best now so that they didn’t die in vain.”

 

“That’s a pretty high cost to catch one spy.” Devlin spat. “They deserve better than that.”

 

“I know. I’m seeing to it that all of the fallen military have been taken care of. Most of the funerals have already been paid for. The Scouts don’t have those kinds of funds. And this isn’t even the worst of it.”

 

“No?” Devlin raised an eyebrow. “How could it be any worse?”

 

“Erwin was right. There were more spies, but not in our ranks. In his ranks.” Nile watched Devlin as if he was trying to get her to tip a hand at poker.

 

“And how is that our problem?” she asked, not fully comprehending.

 

“When I say that Stohess paid the price for having one spy, you can imagine the price the Scouts paid with two other shifters in their number.” he continued.

 

“What are you telling me? ...Are...are there any Scouts left?” She felt the gooseflesh on her neck rise, as she realized what the implications were. Nile hadn’t taken his eyes off of her.

 

“There are. Erwin is in critical condition right now. He lost an arm. I don’t know how many of them you know, but my report says that Mike is missing and feared dead and his squad is also deceased. Eren was stolen by the two traitors, but was returned after a hard fight. Erwin is in his current state because of the lengths he was willing to go through to protect the kid.” Nile poured himself a second glass of whisky, slowly this time, and waited for Dev to process this information.

 

Devlin didn’t know how to react. On the one hand, the loss of an arm was a small price to pay compared to all of the death in Stohess. On the other, he had risked life and limb to protect Eren. Erwin, for all of his cold-heartedness, kept his promises. This also meant that when he regained consciousness, she’d be expecting a summons from him.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that. I know they’re your friends. I can’t imagine what this must be like for you. To be so angry and so concerned at the same time; I mean I sortof grok it given how my squad is doing right now. Knowing that Eren and Armin alone are in the Scouts is enough to raise my blood pressure.” She thought about the two boys, but her memory betrayed her. Instead of the teenagers riding back from war, she saw them as toddlers riding into battle in the back of a wagon. That image hurt. It was also bizarre.

 

“There’s more.” Nile sighed, and stood up with his glass. He began to pace as though he wasn’t sure how to progress the conversation. Devlin shifted her weight in her chair to try and abate her discomfort.  

 

“Just tell me, Nile.” she said. She was surprised when he filled a second glass and handed it to her. This was serious.

 

“I’ve been told that you’re from outside the walls. All of the traitorous shifters are also believed to come from outside the walls. In fact, there’s a rumor now that your entire squad is from outside of this hellhole, and if that’s true I also want to know why you didn’t bother to tell me.” If Dev wasn’t mistaken, he almost looked hurt.

 

“Ah.” Was all she could manage. She wanted to tell him everything, but had no idea where to start and also wasn’t aware of his sources. “Who told you that?”

 

“People I reluctantly trust.” he responded. So, someone in the Scouts most likely. “Is it true?”

 

Devlin took a drink of the whisky she had been provided, searching for a way to explain herself. “Yes. It is. And we joined the MP to get close enough to the King to get some answers about what was going on. Why these walls. Where did the titans come from. Where did the plague come from, did he know. All of these things. Honestly, it was Grisha’s idea. Eren’s father that is. He uh...found all of us on an expedition beyond the walls a long time ago. By found us, I mean we survived the brutal massacre of our families and our people. I’ve not decided yet on whether survival was the wiser of the two choices.”

 

Nile struggled to digest the information, but Devlin knew when he was trying to suppress his anger. He’d want to know why she kept it from him, if that wasn’t obvious. This was personal.

 

“And are you a shifter also? Are you hellbent on the destruction of mankind?” His voice actually began to crack and shake.

 

“You don’t believe that I am or you wouldn’t be plying me with alcohol and confronting me about it in your office.” Devlin replied. “I’m not. My squad isn’t. We’re immigrants only. But Nile, we do remember a little...some of us more than others...and I promise the outside is worth fighting for. I dearly hope that you get to see it one day.”

 

Nile nearly choked on his tears. Devlin hadn’t realized how close these past few weeks had brought him to cracking. He’d believed it all; that the interior wouldn’t see what the outside districts did. That he was safe and secure, and in less than a day every sense of security he had was ripped down brutally by the Scouts and a traitor in his own ranks. “And do you have any proof of that, Devlin Shoughnessy? I need something. I need to see proof. I’d like to hear it from you, and that will be enough to convince me of your squad’s innocence.”

 

Devlin thought hard. Nile drank more. She got an idea.

 

“Titan blood evaporates and their wounds heal more quickly than most, right? The fast healing might be slowed if the body is stressed, so my leg alone might not be enough. You can ask Moblit if you’d like; he dressed all of my wounds with no signs of healing,” she said.

 

“Is that the best you can do? Moblit’s word?” He was simply pretending that he wasn’t affected at this point; carrying on normal conversation even though he’d allowed a couple tears to escape. Nile was a far more emotional man than people gave him credit for. Dev thought for a moment, then pulled out one of her knives. She squeezed her bare hand around the blade and pulled it out quickly, dropping blood in splatters on his desk.

 

“Devlin?!” Nile fumbled around his office, looking for something to wrap her hand with and settled on a roll of gauze he kept in the bottom drawer. Her blood wasn’t evaporating. There was no sign of steam from her wounds, and even though it’s possible that an advanced shifter might be able to control such things, blood simply doesn’t lie.

 

“I wonder why Erwin or Hanji didn’t simply order a blood test be done on all of their scouts to eliminate this problem. Routine blood test; it wouldn’t have been hard. Could have prevented quite a few deaths, I imagine.” Devlin mused, her brain swimming a little from the adrenaline as Nile wrapped her hand and put pressure on the wound.

“Now that you mention it, I’m not sure why either.” Nile was silent a moment before asking, “Do you think that you might tell me about it sometime? The outside I mean.”

 

“Yeah. I’d be happy to, but Elfrieda is the one you should ask about details. Since we got here, most of us have forgotten them. It’s strange, but the further to the interior we travel, the less we seem to remember about the outside. Elfrieda seems unaffected by it, oddly enough.” Dev carefully removed her hand from his grasp and held it above her head to help stop the blood flow.

 

“That reminds me of something else I meant to talk to you about. You should know, but the Interior MPs are not within my jurisdiction. By joining them, even nominally, your squad mate is getting wrapped up in something I don’t fully understand but am not comfortable with.” He kept his voice low, as if he didn’t want to risk being heard through the door.

 

“No shit, really?” She couldn’t stop her sarcasm, inappropriate as it was. Nile scowled at her and folded his arms across his chest. She sighed and offered, “ Sorry. It’s just been a horrible time trying to figure Ailish out. Every person I’ve met from the interior units are pretty much horribly corrupt, shady as all get out individuals. I know she can handle herself, but I don’t like how much power they are amassing. She indicated that they were building new types of weapons for ‘peacekeeping’ purposes. No one builds weapons for keeping the peace for peace’s sake; they only do it to assert control.”

 

“I see. And are there any other things about the interior MP’s Ailish has been able to impart to you that I should know about?” He made a note to himself.

 

“Why, Nile. Are you asking me to glean information from our informant for you? You realize that’s a dangerous business, yes?” Devlin sat up in her chair a little.

 

“I’m aware of the risks, Devlin. I’m willing to take them, and clearly so is your squad mate.” His eyes bore a cold light she had not seen in him for a while. More often than not, Nile’s gambles relied on the elimination of a handful to save a whole...but on a much smaller scale than Erwin’s ideas. Nile would do anything to keep the peace in his town, and it was becoming more evident that he couldn’t do that alone while the Interior MP’s rose in power.

 

“I can ask her, but it’s probably best that I do the relaying of information. It could be bad for her if she’s spotted speaking with you, even if it is perfectly reasonable to expect that a soldier would speak with their superior. We are not dealing with reasonable people. However, this is a lot to ask of someone even as a personal favor.” She paused. “ I’ll make you a deal.”

 

“A deal? You realize I can simply order you to perform this task, yes?” Nile replied flatly.

 

“Yes. A deal, seeing as you want good information and not vague information.” she replied. “The deal is this: you don’t go throwing us into the fire because of where we’re from and we’ll give you all the information we possibly can. I don’t want to be used as a bargaining chip and no part of me is a titan shifter or even remotely involved in any of these coordinated attacks on humanity. I assure you I was just as surprised and horrified as you were. I worry, though, because now Erwin knows. And now you know. And it’s only a matter of time before someone cries liar and we become subject to an old fashioned witch hunt. And if you’re not careful, knowing that you knew this as well might paint you into a corner also.”

 

“Which is why you had better be telling me the truth.” he stated. It was almost a threat. “Besides, they are far more likely to believe me if I say I knew nothing about your origins. I have a long record of allying myself with the will of the King. So much that it would be unlikely that I would have allowed you to slip through my fingers had I known.”

 

“Don’t make this personal, Nile. I doubt it would come to that.” Devlin felt a familiar chill run down her spine. It was the one she always felt when someone discovered a flaw in her armor.

 

“It’s not personal already?. You deceived your commanding officer for as long as you’ve known him. You’re asking him to continue the deception despite the risk of panic your exposure might cause in the district and in the interior.” Nile was standing now, and speaking about himself in the third person. For the first time, Devlin felt well and truly alone.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure you can parse out the reasons if you stop to think about it, the biggest being the one you just mentioned. We wanted to maintain order and would rather be judged for our service and dedication than where we came from or who our parents were. I don’t want to live in a world where that is true.” She forced herself to her feet, her leg still resisting any desire to move as she leaned on her cane. “If you want to blame someone, blame me, but only if it comes to that. Bring my squad into it and you’ll only make the problem bigger and more widespread. If you need a scapegoat, fine. Whatever alleviates your sense of obligation to justice. Promise me you won’t bring them into it.”

 

Nile stared at her for a moment, processing all that she had said before he exhaled and took a seat. “That was really inappropriate of me. I’m sorry.”

 

“It was. But I know that thought is still in your head filed away under contingency plans. I know you.” Devlin stayed on her feet, shaky as they were. “I didn’t get this fucking wound because I was totally cool with all the death and destruction out there. And despite it I’ve still been running around on your orders to the Garrison to help us bury our dead. Yes, I’m loyal to my squad, but I’ve only ever been loyal to you.”

 

Nile waved his hand. “I know. I know. I’m an asshole. I can’t seem to stop myself from voicing the worst case scenarios anymore. I’ve never felt so powerless and it’s really driving the point home that I have to hear from others about my own subordinates. Ones I counted among my friends, mind you.”

 

Devlin lowered her head. The line between commander and friend had been crossed far too many times between the two of them, and that made this situation particularly tricky and unfair.

 

“I’ll make it up to you, Nile. Just remember what I told you. I’ll get information from Ailish and back to you as soon as possible. Kenny cannot be happy about the fact that I continue to reject him. Heinrich knows something, but he’s having difficulty with his memory. I’m worried that they did something to him. Memory alteration seems to be a thing within these walls. I’ll keep working on him and let you know what we find out. The risks do not outweigh the benefits in this situation.” She saluted him formally. He stood and responded in kind. “I won’t let you down, sir.”

 

“Be careful, Dev. I mean it. The interior MP are dangerous.”

 

“I know. I’ll get the squad working again on those gangs of thieves you tasked us with two days ago. We hit a dead end, but I think I know where to look again and we’re all feeling better than we did two days ago.”

 

“Thank you. I hope you will have a report in soon.” He settled back into his seat again, though he wore a strange expression on his face. Strangled? Apologetic? Frustrated? All three?

 

“I will make a point of having a report on your desk every morning, whether or not they are substantial. Anything could indicate a pattern.”

 

“That works. You are dismissed.”

 

Dev nodded and limped her way out the door, replaying every bit of dialogue in her head. Nile was a friend, though a dangerous one at times, and her desire to help him get back on the right track returned to her with renewed vigor. She wouldn’t give him a reason to regret befriending her.

 

* * *

 

“Agh! My dogs are barkin’!” Colin complained, stacking another pile of firewood. “Why do they ask us to do this extraneous stuff in these awful boots? Isn’t this what the Garrison is for?” He looked to Heinrich, who punctuated his sentence by splitting another log in twain.

 

“You could bitch about anything, couldn’t you?” Heinrich wiped the sweat off of his brow with his forearm.

 

“I am a professional.” Colin wiped the dirt off his hands by clapping them together. “It’s like the surface of the sun out here. Why are you still wearing your shirt?”

 

“One, I’m not sold on entertaining your boyish desires to relieve me of my clothing. Two, I don’t particularly want to accidentally reopen these cuts or get debris in them. Devlin will be pleased when she sees how sunburnt you’ll be.” Heinrich adjusted his sleeves and rolled them up again.

 

“Ew, practicality. How are we supposed to put on a show for the ladies if we’re afraid to flaunt our physique?” Colin picked up the log Heinrich just split and stacked it on the pile outside of HQ. Firewood was a necessity year round; not just for cooking purposes but for keeping water heated as well.

 

“I’m not particularly interested in what anyone else thinks.” Heinrich balanced another log on the base stump and wiped his hands before grabbing hold of the axe.

 

“No, I guess you aren’t. But we have two of the most badass battle scars ever in the history of the world and you’re denying it access to our majesty.” Colin took a few steps back so as not to get hit with any flying debris. Heinrich brought the axe down with incredible force, in so much that he got it lodged in the base log. He groaned and tried to wiggle it free.

 

“Are you listening to yourself? We’re MP’s with horrific scars bearing the marks of the Scouting Legion. Ones we clearly didn’t sign up for, at that. Why would I feel obligated to display them?”

Heinrich finally removed the axe with a grunt.

 

“Oh. I guess I didn’t realize you were so self conscious. I always figured you didn’t have anything to be self conscious about... ever.” Colin picked up another piece of firewood to stack it.

 

“What are you talking about?” Heinrich leaned on the axe handle a little.

 

“Of all of the guys in our training days...it was one of those awkward guy things I guess that everyone secretly compared themselves to you. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.” Colin rubbed the nape of his neck, making a face at his friend. Heinrich raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

 

“Nope. Didn’t know that. Not sure what to think now that I do except to consider how indescribably stupid that is. We’re all different people for a reason.” Heinrich steadied himself and brought the axe down on another log.

 

“Eh heh..heh heeeehhh…oops.” Colin cleared his throat. “But that’s all ancient history now I suppose since I’ve clearly given you a run for your money these days.”

 

“Please. It’s not a competition.”

 

“Ohhhh but it is.” Colin chirped. “Within the hearts and minds of every human being is the unrelenting need to be accepted and desired. At every level of life, even. We are all quietly competing against one another to achieve this.”

 

“I’m not competing with anyone. I don’t have time for that, especially not now.” Heinrich flung a towel at Colin, which hit him on the side of the head and draped over one eye.

 

“Now that you’re imperfect, you mean?” Colin asked seriously. Sadness painted itself on Heinrich’s face, mixed with a fine hue of anger and frustration.

 

“It’s not the scar, Colin. It reminds me, though. I got marked for a reason and I have no idea what the reason was. My memory feels like a broken mirror; just flashes of shapes and feelings and they’re gone. It sounds weird, but I really feel like Ailish was involved.” Heinrich put the axe down and took a seat on the ground, his back leaning against the wood pile.

 

“What makes you say that? We haven’t seen Ai in over a week.” Colin sat down next to Heinrich and pulled out a bag containing a picnic lunch. He handed Heinrich a sandwich.

 

“That’s the damndest thing. I don’t know. I just know.” Heinrich rubbed his temple with his free hand. “I mean...I know..but I don’t….know? Ugh. I’m not making this any better.”

 

“I get what you mean. It’s not something you have hard evidence for, but you have a gut feeling over it. “ Colin offered.

 

“Yes. Like that. But what’s worse is there are other things I can’t remember. Half of the projects in my workshop don’t...they don’t make sense to me anymore. I don’t know what I was doing with them.” Heinrich stared at his sandwich, focusing on it to keep himself from getting too wound up. Elf probably made it; if he opened it up he might find a mangled smiley face in condiments. It calmed him a little to think about it.

 

“Shit, Heinrich. What did they do to you?” Colin’s voice was a whisper as his eyes scanned the vicinity for potential eavesdroppers.

 

“I don’t know, Colin. But I’m going to ask Ailish as soon as I see her.” He bit into his sandwich in utter defiance of the lump in his throat and his quagmire of nerves. As stupidly prideful as it was, he was still the oldest in his squad and had difficulty accepting care from them. He’d always been the one to look out for them, but he knew in his heart that a part of him had been broken and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get it back. He didn’t even know what “it” was.

 

“Good idea. She’s been a mess since you’ve been in the infirmary. I think she visited you once but she cried for an hour afterward. They kept her busy in the Interior Squad.

 

Heinrich’s stomach lurched and he covered his mouth, forcing measured air into his lungs to calm himself. Colin instinctively put a hand in the center of Heinrich’s back, as he would have done if they’d overdone it at a pub.

 

“Whoah! Owen...you really aren’t ok are ya?”

 

“Don’t call me that. Ailish calls me that when she’s doing something she shouldn’t be. I don’t…” Heinrich paused, choking on the reality of his thoughts. “I don’t think I can save her, Colin. She’s gone someplace I can’t reach and I don’t understand how she got there.” He put his sandwich down and covered his face with both hands.

 

Colin watched him for a moment before he wrapped an arm around his friend and pulled him close into a side hug. “I understand. I don’t know if Elf’s rubbing off on me, but I’ve had a really awful feeling about this from the beginning. My memory has been destroyed since Trost. I think one of those MP’s that was hanging out with me did something. I remember very specifically telling Dev that I was beginning to remember things about the people that attacked me and then they were gone the next day. Nothing in my brain but noise and fuzziness from the painkillers.”

 

It was Heinrich’s turn to be surprised. “You’ve been suffering all this time and didn’t tell anyone?”

 

“You’re one to talk, you know that?” Colin side-eyed him. “I just figured I would remember eventually. I hadn’t tried picking it apart as much as you have. And I didn’t want Dev to worry; she’s got enough going on without me making it more complicated.”

 

“She’d be upset you were keeping it from her.” Heinrich observed.

 

“I have to keep things from Devlin from time to time. Call it a survival skill.” Colin took a bite of his own sandwich.

 

“That isn’t really fair. You know she cares.” Heinrich swiped Colin’s lunch bag and relieved him of one of his two apples.

 

“Yeah, I do. That’s the problem. There’s nothing quite like giving your heart to a girl when you’re young and watching her hold it like it’s going to do a trick. A lot of waiting.” Colin said.

 

“I know. She’s doing her best, though. I think she’s really been shaken up lately. Probably enough to shake her free of all the hangups she’s selected for her role as Squad Leader. You ought to tell her about the extent of your injuries.” Heinrich polished the apple with his shirttail.

 

“You too. And we need to take Ailish back. I’ve a mind to walk in and just take her, like. ‘Boom. Now what are you going to do about it?’ You know? It’d be glorious.” Colin said.

 

“They’d kill you.” Heinrich stated automatically. A few seconds passed before realization washed over him. “Oh…”

 

“Oh what?”

 

“No, that’s right. They really would kill you. I wondered why I was so certain that these MP would kill a person, and I just now remembered that they did this to me. I can see a man with Ailish in a building with other MPs. I can hear him telling her that what they were doing to me was standard procedure.” Heinrich’s face twisted a little in disgust.

 

“Ok, but what did you do to get yourself in such a state? There has to be a reason.” Colin was having difficulty maintaining his composure. He absently twisted one of Heinrich’s curls to give himself something to focus on before he realized what he was doing and unhanded his friend.

 

“That I’m not sure of, but if Ailish was there she would be the one to know. We are going to have an uncomfortable chat after this.” Heinrichs eyes glassed over while he tried to explore the depths of his mind.

 

“We’ll both talk to her. I need answers, too and I think it would be beneficial for both of us to be present in case one of us mysteeeeeeriously ‘forgets’ the details of our conversation.” Colin crossed his arms, then realized he couldn’t eat his sandwich that way and went back to consuming it.

 

“Good plan. Thank you, Colin.” Heinrich said quietly.

 

“Always, brother. I gotta say though, we’ve depressed ourselves rather quickly. I’m fixing that straightaway.” Colin got himself to his feet and set his half eaten sandwich down on the woodpile. Heinrich watched him with curiosity.

 

“...What are you doing?” Heinrich took a bite of his apple.

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Colin climbed up the outer perimeter wall of HQ so that he could see below onto the street. There were a couple of squads of MPs laying around down there, doing next to nothing. Colin rolled his eyes.

 

“No, I’m afraid it isn’t immediately apparent.” Heinrich stated. His question was promptly answered as Colin began to dance around on the top of the wall; leaping and spinning and tapping out a rhythm with his boots. “Oh my God.”

 

“Yes! Hello residents of Stohess District! I am now officially doing more work than any of you down there!” Colin hammed it up, eventually pulling other inebriated MPs up onto the wall with him. “There ya go! Dance off that alcohol! There’ll be plenty in the pub later. Keep at it!”

 

Colin spotted Nile and two other MPs making their way to the gate long before the drunk-dancing MPs did. He hopped down lightly and grabbed hold of Heinrich. “Don’t ask, just run.” He laughed.

 

“Why? What?” Heinrich grabbed their personal items and beat a hasty retreat to the interior of the building. They had just passed through the doorway before hearing Nile’s loud admonitions ringing out over the courtyard.

 

“Ooohhhh shiiiiiittt…they’re getting nailed.” Colin laughed.

 

“OH MY GOD, Colin! You eejit” Heinrich ran after him, unable to keep a smile off his face for the first time in weeks.

 

* * *

 

“Hello. I see you’re still counting stars somewhere.” Elfrieda slipped into Erwin’s hospital room unnoticed by the guard. She took a seat by his bedside and watched him breathe for a bit to convince herself that he was still among the living. “No need to answer. Just lay there if you can hear me.”

 

Silence.

 

“Good.” Elfrieda pulled a book out of the bag she was schlepping and opened it to a bookmarked page. “Now, it’s probably true that you’ll never remember any of this and that’s ok. I figured that you could use the company and since my buddy Heinrich’s been released I thought I’d pay you a visit. Oh, our squad is a shambles at the moment but we’re all okay enough. Not as bad off as you for sure. Where was I? Oh yes. Stories from the Outside. I figured you’d appreciate a nice little bedside heresy to look forward to.”

 

She looked at him and waited. Nothing. Still breathing, though.

 

“As you wish. I’ll translate it so you can understand it. Yesterday I read you the story of King Nuadha and how he lost his arm and all of the crazy nonsense surrounding this ancient belief that a King had to be physically perfect to lead. Mind you, these people can’t measure how intact a King’s brain is, so even if he’s mad it wouldn’t matter because he isn’t misshapen. Turns out a lot of these ancient kings were a little mad, yah? So long as you weren’t a douchebag though your body parts didn’t get lopped off and turned into property boundaries. Wow I think I’m getting off topic. I’ll focus. Anyway I figured I’d tell you a story about another wounded leader that you may actually know if you know anything about your ancestors. Stop me if you’ve heard this one.”

 

She waited, then continued.

 

“Always a pleasure to present new material for your consideration. Alright, this is the story of the god Tyr and the binding of the great wolf Fenrir. I’ll paraphrase for time. The God Loki had three really unusual offspring: a giant serpent that circled the world called Jormungand, a death Goddess named Hel, and a gigantic wolf named Fenrir. The other Gods had disturbing premonitions regarding all of Loki’s offspring, believing correctly that they would bring about the end of the world.” Elf lowered the book. “Whether or not Loki and his offspring were any more responsible for the end of the world as the rest of the Gods is up for debate in my opinion. They all took turns being friend and foe, but whatever. For the sake of our tale, we’ll just assume that the world ending is bad news. Why not start where we can relate directly?” She raised the book and her eyes searched the page before beginning again.

 

“The bigass snake and the death Goddess were dealt with easily enough to assuage their fears temporarily, but Fenrir made the Gods shake in their knickers and wring their hands. Nothing they did could tame or capture the beast, because Fenrir had the consciousness of a mythical being with intellect. He wasn’t always large; the God Tyr was the only one with the courage to feed the puppy regularly as they raised it up in Asgard. As such, the pup grew to be of fearsome size, but by and large the Gods feared him by virtue of the doom he represented more than his physical form. Because of the devastation they knew he would be responsible for, the Gods tried binding Fenrir repeatedly with chains but he broke free every time. Eventually, they ran out of options and decided to approach some dwarven smiths who could create an unbreakable chain that would bind the wolf to a place where he could not bring about the end of the world. In every way, the wolf’s existence represented the balance we also struggle to maintain between humanity and titans. Anyway. The Gods presented Fenrir with this feather light dwarven masterwork chain, which was leagues better than any of his previous leashes. They named it, too, because the ancients named fucking *everything*. Fenrir was immediately suspicious (probably because it had a name) and challenged the Gods by saying he refused to be bound with such a chain unless one of the Gods was willing to place their hand in his open maw as a show of good faith. Naturally, none of the other gods were willing to make this sacrifice even if it meant the survival of the world and all that they knew. Tyr alone, having fed the wolf for years, volunteered and did so knowing full well that he was doing so in bad faith as far as the wolf was concerned. In a sense, it was a betrayal of the wolf, but also needed doing regardless of affection or concern. When they bound Fenrir, the mighty wolf bit Tyr’s arm clean off and chomped it down. The end result was that the world’s end was delayed for a bit longer thanks to the immense and righteous sacrifice of one.”

 

Elf lowered the book and stared at the sleeping Erwin. “Surely if you cannot see the greatness of Nuadha in yourself, you will shine with the light of Tyr. Humanity may not understand the gravity of what you’ve done, but there are some of us that do.” She smiled softly, clutching the tome to her chest. “The balance was kept, for a while at least. So thank you.”

 

Erwin’s eyelashes fluttered lightly as Elfrieda got to her feet. His eyes opened a little and stared ahead, still unseeing. Rather than linger, she exited the room quickly and called for a nurse to check out the change in his condition. She stopped in the waiting area on her way out and noticed Hanji and Levi leaning on one another as they slept.

 

“Hey Scouts. Look alive. “ Elf stated clearly. “I think your commander is waking up.”

 

Levi’s head shot up as though he’d been shocked, but Elf had already left the room before he realized she was there. Before long, she’d already mounted her horse and was heading back to the barracks in Stohess.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize in advance for the chapter that will follow this one. I've known it's coming since day one, but ugh. Wine for all.


	15. Feather Fall: Whistles the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Squad concocts a plan of escape, but of course plans are things the gods giggle at before they take your life elsewhere.  
> OR: The Chapter where the author loses all of her readers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. 
> 
> I am so sorry. 
> 
> I am so very sorry.

**Whistles the Wind**

 

Dev carried four beers by the handle and set them down lightly on the hefty walnut table her squad mates were seated around. She did her level best to make her reliance on her cane less evident by hanging it on the back of her chair and climbing into her seat without assistance.

 

“Ah, an angel has brought to us an offering of fermented grain, and lo our open communication with the heavens was established.” Colin pulled a mug toward himself with a cheesy grin. Ailish rolled her eyes and pulled one to herself as well.

 

“What’s the occasion?” Heinrich asked.

 

“I’ll tell you when Elf arrives.” Devlin smiled into her beer before drinking deeply of its promised oblivion.

 

“Never look a gift beer in the mouth.” Colin said.

 

“Beer really shouldn’t have a mouth...that makes this whole thing a little awkward don’t you think?” Ailish stared down into her mug.

 

“Nah, I don’t think so. If beer were a woman I can only begin to fantasize about the sensuous things I would do to her.” Colin spoke wistfully, his eyes fixed upon the imaginary beer Goddess somewhere in his mind.

 

“Things I don’t need to hear about. Ever.” Ailish smiled and raised her mug only to see Heinrich staring off in the same rough vicinity as Colin. She fought to keep herself from spewing the drink all over the table. “Heinrich! You too?!”

 

“What?! A woman made of beer is awesome!” Heinrich recoiled a little, finally pulling a beer to himself. At the end of the table, Devlin bit her lip. “Now leave me to my date please and thank you.”

 

“I don’t want to see either of you making out with your beer mugs.” Ailish shook her head. “Hey Dev, where’s Elf anyway?”

 

“She’s on her way back from Stohess I think. She should be here shortly.” Devlin explained.

 

“Ah. What’s she doing in Stohess?”

 

“Beats me. I’m more interested in hearing about what you’ve been up to lately. How’s the meeting with the King coming along?” Devlin leaned to the side to allow the waitress to deliver a basket of rolls for their meal. Ailish’s smile quickly faded, and Dev immediately regretted asking.

 

“If we’re being honest--” Ailish started, and was interrupted by Heinrich.

 

“And we always are in this squad.” His eyes held a warning in them that didn’t quite escape with words. Ailish shifted in her seat a little before taking another sip of her beer.

 

“Yes. We are.” she confirmed. “It isn’t going well, Dev. Every time I ask, Kenny always replies with a cryptic ‘the King is dead, long live the lie.’. Then he laughs and tells me that he will put me in touch with a man named Rod after our mission tomorrow.”

 

“What’s your mission tomorrow?” Dev asked.

 

“We’re running security in town. There is a threat rolling through that I’ve been asked not to specify.” Ailish spoke carefully.

 

“Aren’t we all technically running security in town? Forever and ever until our watch ends?” Colin spoke up.

 

“Yes. But our unit is a bit more like His Majesty’s Elite and Secret Service; we have these unusual side projects and even more bizarre weaponry.” Ailish drank more beer, easily avoiding direct answers.

 

“What sort of bizarre weaponry?” Heinrich’s curiosity was piqued.

 

“You’d hate it, trust me. I shouldn’t really say, though.” Ailish responded.

 

“I think you should say. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” Heinrich challenged.

 

“Sure we do. Everyone has something they keep close.”

 

“Not like this. Ailish, what are they making you do?” Heinrich’s gaze fell on Ailish with unrelenting laser precision. She opened her mouth to answer him, then closed it. “We can run to our room upstairs and talk about it if you’d prefer the privacy,” he pressed. Her face grew red and she huffed.

 

“You’re asking me to betray an oath I took. My word is very important to me. Don’t ask me to break my own code of honor.”

 

“What about your debt to us? Your oath to our squad? You said you’d give your life. What is it about this other squad that awards them your silence and priority?” Heinrich set his drink down with more force than usual. Colin lowered his drink, but Dev watched Ailish in hopes that she would answer Heinrich’s brutal line of questioning. Ailish stared at him for a moment before growling through her teeth.

 

“How dare you. You can accuse me of disloyalty and yet not one of you has taken up the torch for Colin. None of you have determined who the attacker was yet. You’re all too afraid of who that might be and what it means for you. For Devlin at least I understand; it would put her in a uniquely difficult situation being our squad leader and having to accuse a fellow military member. Not once though have I intentionally put your lives in danger. In fact, you have no idea of the hell I went through to keep you alive and...mostly unharmed.” Ailish tripped her tongue over the last few words as she grasped her mug tightly, unable to meet Heinrich’s eyes any longer.

 

“What does ‘I promise’ mean, Ailish? If your word is of any value, then you are obligated to tell me don’t you think?” Heinrich smacked her rolled note onto the table top. Ailish's eyes rested on the paper and darted away quickly.

 

“Heellloooooo everybody. Is this a bad time?” Elfrieda appeared beside Devlin in such a way that Devlin appeared to be the victim of a personal haunting rather than joined by a friend. Ailish’s back was heaving as she struggled for breath between her anger and simultaneous surprise at Elf’s sudden appearance. Devlin slid over in the booth to allow room for Elf to have a seat.

 

“On the contrary, Elf. You’re right on time.” Heinrich continued, not removing his eyes from Ailish. The brown haired girl was cowed, water gathered in glinting pools on her eyes. Her voice escaped her mouth with a painful edge, barely above a whisper.

 

“It means that I promise that so long as I’m in the anti--” she swallowed back her words and tried again. “In Kenny’s squad...I won’t kill another human being. Even if I’m ordered to. I’ll refuse. Because I am loyal to you. And I love you all and could not give up my integrity just because someone ordered me to.”

 

“You sure you’re in the right line of work?” Colin meant it to be lighthearted, but Ailish collapsed into sobs, hiding her face in her arms. Colin looked around the table with panic in his eyes, concerned that he had broken her. Heinrich slid closer to Ailish and tried to pull her close to him, but she resisted.

 

“No.” She choked. “ I don’t deserve your sympathy. I will make good on my promises to you. All of them. Tomorrow I’ll meet with this Rod guy and we’ll get our answers. I’ll happen tomorrow.”

 

“Jaysus, Ailish. You’re one of us. How can you go throwing around words like ‘love’ and not even let us comfort you?” Colin muttered. “Heinrich of all people.”

 

“Maybe he shouldn’t have been such a bastard about all of this, then.” Ailish retorted.

 

“Got news for ya, born out of wedlock or otherwise has nothing to do with his attitude. He’s been through some serious shite, and so have you. We’re still here. Talk about what you need to as you need to.” Colin continued.

 

“His parents were married. Your insult is invalid.” Elfrieda stole a roll from the table basket.

“Good to know.” Heinrich mumbled. “I’m sorry, Ai. That was a little harsh.”

 

“Yes. It was.” Ailish sniffed. “Not as harshly as I’ve treated you, but please understand that mercy can look like cruelty.”

 

“What?” Heinrich eyed his beer, wondering at its strength.

 

“I don’t deserve your hugs or your comfort, but I certainly wouldn’t mind them.” Ailish spoke quietly, trying not to bring further attention to their table. Sobbing women have a tendency to draw stares and glares. Heinrich rolled his eyes, his question lost for the time being, and put an arm around her. She hid her face in his chest almost instantly, and he struggled to conceal his discomfort. Colin winced from across the table.

 

“So, in good news, we have some options. Given the state of our squad and the injuries we’ve sustained, Nile has graciously made me an offer to share with the lot of you. We can be reassigned for a week doing “field research” in the northernmost districts as we continue to heal, or we can take a week of paid leave and stay here. The way he made it sound was almost like he was pitching us a vacation at the seaside.” Devlin shook her head.

 

“I do miss the seaside. Do you think he’d let us head to the North Sea from here if we hopped the wall and kept going?” Elfrieda looked around the table, suddenly full of excitement.

 

Ailish pulled her head away from Heinrich’s chest and stared at her. “There’s a sea up there? AND it has a name? Elf I really hope you’re writing all of this down because I’d give a limb to have half of the memory you seem to have.”

 

“With great memory comes great responsibility.” Elf didn’t seem interested in expanding upon that point. “Yes, it’s the North Sea.”

 

“North Sea aside, there are still Titans between us and them and we didn’t fare at all well last time.” Devlin reminded her. “And I think that’s called desertion.”

 

“Vacation. Desertion. Whatever. Tomayto Tomahto.” Elf shrugged. “I pick northern adventures. What about you guys?”

 

“I can’t leave yet.” Ailish sighed. “Not until after tomorrow. I’d prefer to go north, also. I miss seeing snow.”

 

“See? We all have selective memories.” Elf grinned.

 

“Alright.” Devlin continued. “We can stay here for a day of paid leave and *then* head north for temporary reassignment. Sound good?”

 

Colin and Heinrich exchanged glances and nodded. “We’re in.” Colin grinned. “No way in hell are we going anywhere without Ai. Kenny will just have to deal with it. I’ll kick his ass personally if he tries anything.”

 

“He did that once already.” Devlin said quietly. “Or rather, we have plenty of evidence to support that he was responsible for the attack on you, Col. It isn’t that we didn’t take up the torch for Colin, Ai. It’s that with you under Kenny’s control we were unable to accuse the squad for fear of what he might do to you.”

 

All color in Ailish’s face drained. “What evidence?”

 

“Firsthand witnesses.”

 

“Who?”

 

Devlin sighed. “One was Annie Leonhardt.”

 

“Because SHE is clearly someone to be trusted and only has our best interests in mind, right? How’s your leg?” Ailish rolled her eyes, but Devlin knew that the seed of doubt had been planted in her mind.

 

“It’s getting better. I don’t need the cane as often.” Devlin answered as though it was not intended to be a dig at her judgment. “Besides that, we’re convinced of his guilt. I guess it’s up to you to search your heart and see if any oath you made to that group was really worth making.”

 

“Obviously, he’s a creep. If he’s guilty then I’m gone, but I need more evidence than what the Female Titan claims to have seen. I don’t understand what would motivate a man to attack someone in the MP. It just seems so random.” Ailish was quicker to respond than usual. For a few moments, Devlin understood: Ailish wanted to escape but was bound by a sense of honor she’d lived by her whole life. She was also too proud to admit that she might not be able to fulfill her promise to get them an audience with the King, and thus was doubly bound in her mind. So, Devlin lied.

 

“We spoke to a number of people that had been out on the street that night. They all reported seeing him. Plus, I believe he’s been following us for some time.” Devlin was certain that Ailish would see through the lie, but if she was desperate enough for an out it might not matter.

 

“And there’s also my own testimony.” Colin spoke up. “I remember a lot more than I did before, but I didn’t want to bring it up then. That blonde buddy of yours was one of the group that attacked me. I’d recognize her anywhere, but it was better for my health to pretend I had no idea.”

 

All eyes were suddenly fixed on Colin. He shrugged. “What? It’s the truth. You want out, Ai, that’s a good enough reason as any, right? You trust me yah?”

 

“She...what? Colin if you’re lying I don’t know what I’ll do…” Ailish’s voice returned to trembling. “Oh my god what have I gotten myself into…” Heinrich, sensing an impending freakout, pulled Ailish closer to him.

 

“Some pretty crazy shit, I’m sure.” Heinrich tried. “You couldn’t have known, Ailish. Colin just dropped that bomb on all of us. Maybe we should head up to bed and you can take some time to process things?”

 

Ailish nodded quietly. “I need some time. It’s all well and good to say “I quit” but how do you quit Kenny Ackerman?”

 

“I’m telling you. Heinrich and I will make history of him. Easy peasy.” Colin nodded. “Anyone can be surprised if you know how they tick.”

 

“I’m taking Ailish to bed. I’ll be back down in a few minutes.” Heinrich said as he slid free of his chair and helped Ailish to her feet.

 

“Olright. I have a fantastic idea for a new drinking game when you get back.” Colin smiled. Heinrich nodded and helped Ailish up the stairs to their rented rooms. Colin waited until he was out of earshot before speaking.

 

“Yeah, right. He isn’t coming back tonight.” Colin smirked.

 

“You think they?...” Elfrieda trailed off.

 

“No way.” Devlin asserted. “He’ll be back if he said he will. Besides, there’s nothing between those two. Not like * _that_ * anyway.”

 

“He isn’t coming back. I bet you a beer.” Colin challenged Devlin.

 

“I bet you two that he is.” Devlin countered.

 

Elfrieda eyed the stairwell in thought before offering. “Nah, he’s down for the count tonight. Sorry, Dev.”

 

“You have a wager attached to that assertion?” Colin asked.

 

“Matching Devlin. Two beers.”

 

 

 

Devlin bought everyone beer that night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Should we really be following her around like this?” Colin asked, his back pressed to an alley wall.

 

“Yes. She might need our support, and at the very least an escort away from this squad. Plus we're on vacation technically, so we can act on our own discretion.” Devlin loaded her revolver with six bullets, each one a grim promise.

 

Heinrich and Elf dropped down next to the two, having gained permission to use 3dmg because Nile had said not to underestimate Kenny and his squad.

 

“Hey. We got a look at their weaponry. Ai wasn’t kidding about the gear; they actually fitted firearms to them. It is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Two shots only and then what; they’re wide open for attack. Hopefully whoever they’re running security for doesn’t figure this out.” Heinrich actually sounded more angry at the design of the weapons than concerned at the level of danger they were in at the moment.

 

“Seriously.” Elf offered. “I don’t think Ai is going to be able to avoid shooting at people at some point. She’d rattled off some non-lethal locations before we left, but I’m worried.”

 

“We’re all worried.” Devlin sighed.

 

“I mean because I’ve never seen her like that. She kept saying that she promised Heinrich that she wasn’t going to kill anyone, but that she’d never wanted to end a life so badly before. She’s got a future written in blood and that blonde chick’s name is written in it.” Elfrieda continued.

 

“That may be, but she promised.” Heinrich said.

 

“Sleep well last night?” Colin wasn’t even trying to hide his smile.

 

“Er..yes? Once Ailish settled down and cried for a while I was able to retire to my room. Thanks for asking?” Heinrich was genuinely confused. Colin sagged.

 

“SERIOUSLY?!” Colin shook his head. Devlin crossed her arms, proud of a partial victory.

 

“Ok, Elf. Heinrich. Back to Recon. Colin and I will hold down the street over here. See if you can determine what we’re up against here.” Devlin commanded. The two saluted and flew off in the opposite direction down the street.

 

“Hey Dev. You’re shaking.” Colin said quietly. Devlin raised her hand to gauge its steadiness and was surprised to discover that she could not hold still.

 

“Oh. Weird. I must have had too much coffee.” Devlin hunkered down in the shadows, her eyes fixed on the street. Twenty minutes later, gunshots echoed throughout the street. Colin hit the ground and covered his head instantly, but Devlin was frozen in place. This wasn’t like Trost; these were not the deep roar of cannons but the tiny, obnoxious sting of bullets as they ricocheted off of buildings.

 

“Dev! Get down!” Colin pulled her cloak hard, but Devlin’s knees would not cooperate. In a flash, Heinrich dropped down beside her with a wild look in his eyes.

 

“They’re shooting Scouts, Dev. They’re actively shooting Scouts.” He gasped, trying to catch his breath. The gunshots increased, growing closer and more threatening.

 

“NO. They’re not allowed to do that! That’s bullshit!” Devlin snapped back to reality and pushed through her fear.

 

“I can’t find Elf. She took off the moment the shots started.” Heinrich continued.

 

“She’ll probably see if she can prevent any deaths on either side.” Devlin shook her head. “We have to retrieve Ailish now. I’m done with this shit.”

 

Colin nodded. “Alright. Extraction plan B, then?” Devlin confirmed with a nod and ran out into the street to get a better idea of what was happening. She was able to spot Elfrieda on a grocer’s rooftop, lying on her stomach and carefully aiming her rifle.

 

“PLAN B!” Devlin called out to her. Elfrieda looked at Devlin for a moment, then focused back to her shot. A moment later, she fired, and a lanky looking MP fell from the opposite roof and landed in the street with a crunch. Devlin did not realize that her mouth was hanging open until Elfrieda took another shot: this time, a female fell to her death below.

 

“What the hell is she doing?!” Colin yelled.

 

“Killing people?” Devlin responded, unable to form a proper response. It was true, but the ‘why’ was currently escaping her. Elf never acted outside her orders. Ever.

 

“We’re the Military Police. From where I stand, these Interior MP’s are the aggressors and thus they are to be considered armed and dangerous. We swore to keep the King’s peace, so we’d better get cracking. I’ll get Ailish.” Heinrich shot his cables to the nearest rooftop and pulled his rifle off his back to load it.

 

“This is civil war.” Colin muttered in disbelief as he fumbled for bullets. “Nile is going to be so pissed.”

  
Devlin’s mouth was dry and her body was trembling with adrenaline. There was no true safe space around in which to hide; not from this squad. The only thing they could do was hope that they wouldn’t be shot. It was a strange feeling; one she’d never expected to have to confront while she was in the MP. Kill or be killed? Her life was not currently in danger, but if it came to that...what would she do? Could she take a life? She didn’t have much time to think about it when a couple of Interior MP’s swooped down in front of her, one of which was Ailish.

 

“AI! OVER HERE!” Devlin called, but Ailish paid her no heed. It didn’t seem possible given their proximity that Ailish did not hear her. Blessedly, the Interior MP that noticed her paid her no mind. A short distance up the street, Devlin could see horses approach pulling a wagon behind them. Suddenly, there were many soldiers in the air, some with flesh paring blades and green cloaks and some with guns and hats. A deadly aerial dance began, piece by piece, as though some moments were frozen in time and others continued in an unrelenting march.

 

Devlin saw Elf shoot an MP out of the sky before they could shoot a Scout. Red scarf? Mikasa?

 

There was no time to react. Her thoughts flew at her in rapid succession.

 

Mikasa.

Eren.

Scouts.

These are children.

_They are killing children._

Who is in the wagon?

Is Eren in the wagon?

Where is Levi?

_Why can’t I see anything?_

They are shooting at Elfrieda now.

Why can’t I lift my gun?

Armin is driving the wagon.

Ailish is aiming her gun at Armin.

_I can’t breathe._

These are our friends.

Ailish, your promise.

YOUR PROMISE.

 

Devlin breathed a small sigh of relief as Ailish passed over Armin and landed in the wagon behind him, and choked on the same breath when she leveled both of her guns at Jean. He was armed. He was aiming his gun at her poorly.

 

They were all armed. Heinrich landed in the street behind the wagon just as it passed.

Ailish hesitated.

 

And then Devlin knew. It tore through her heart like a reaper’s blade. It would be one of them. Ailish’s eyes conveyed multitudes, but she could not pull the trigger. She would keep her word.

 

It was Armin that did so.

 

Armin of all people.

 

Devlin screamed as the wind was painted with the blood and ichor of her squadmate. Heinrich was caught in the spray. She screamed as the cart rumbled past. There was no surviving a shot like that. Beside her, Colin was frozen in grief. All of time stopped in this narrow street to encase squad Shoughnessy in their own personal hell. Everyone else had swooped out as quickly as they’d swooped in and left only grief in the wake of several deadly seconds.

 

Heinrich ran to Ailish, who lay crumpled in the street and unmoving. The shot had been brutal, and the look on Heinrich’s face conveyed a singular pain. He tried to pull her up, but the remains of her head were too grotesque for even a man of Heinrich’s mettle. He vomited in the street and collapsed onto all fours, unable to control his sobbing. Devlin ran to him and tore off her cloak, doing the best she could to cover Ailish without looking at her directly. That memory of her was not what she wanted to carry forward with her, and she became acutely aware that this was likely not Heinrich’s preference either.

 

Devlin pulled Heinrich into her arms violently, holding onto him with all of her strength, as if he’d evaporate if she dared to let go. Heinrich appeared to be of a similar mind, grasping at Devlin’s clothing and repeating “Why” over and over.

 

But what choice did Ailish have? She made a choice: the children or her, and she chose death on her own terms and by her own word. Devlin knew this logically, but logic was so far distant that it provided no comfort.

 

Boots padded lightly on the cobbles near Devlin, and she lifted her head to determine if this was friend or foe. Elfrieda looked down at her, a soft look in her eyes as she squeezed Devlin’s shoulder.

 

Devlin could only croak weakly. “Ai’s gone.”

 

Elfrieda nodded slowly, her eyes hardening. “Ai is free now.”

 

Elf touched Heinrich on the head lightly before crouching near Ai’s cloaked body. Devlin felt a chill wash over her when Elf lifted a corner and gazed beneath. The color drained from Elfrieda’s face and she stared for what Devlin felt might have been too long.

 

“Elf? You ok?” Dev was still holding Heinrich, who had entangled his fingers in her hair between sobs. The blonde sank to her knees, leaving Ai’s ruined face exposed to the sky. Elf’s uniform was soaked through with blood, but the source of which was unclear.

 

“Elf?”

 

“Everything will be fine, Devlin.” Elfrieda fixed her eyes on Dev, a fey look upon her face as the darkness behind her eyes blossomed into full view. Elf pulled the ties out of her hair and shook it free; a storm of blonde and wild eyes. Devlin watched with horror and concern as Elfrieda dipped her finger in the blood of her dead friend and smeared a careful line of it on her own forehead.

 

“Okay, Brighid. You are terrifying me right now. Please, stop. I can’t take much more. Please. Are you hurt? I don’t understand.” Devlin could not reach Elfrieda, and Heinrich was far away in his grief. Colin was watching; she could see him as he took shaky steps toward the group.

 

Elfrieda covered Ailish completely in the cloak. “I know. It’s grotesque, but we do what we must to seal the deal. She’d do the same for any of us. This is very old magic. Kenny has trifled with the wrong group.” And with that, Elfrieda stood and called out in a voice that felt distant and unfamiliar to Devlin. Her eyes were alight with rage and her jaw was set with purpose.

 

“Kenny Ackerman,

Here stands Brighid

who stands to accuse you

of unforgivable crimes.

I curse you in the name of the fallen.

I curse you in the name of all lives you have taken.

I stand beneath the heavens

and upon the earth as my witness

That the Sky Shall Fall Upon You

That the Fire of Your Aims be Snuffed

and that the Very Earth Shall Swallow You Whole

to repay the life debt that you here owe.

So it is.”

 

And with that, Elfrieda collapsed into sobs over the body of her lifelong friend until she too lay still and silent.

  
“....Elf?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession Time: 
> 
> This chapter was actually the one I knew I'd have to write at some point, because the entire story was based around telling the story of that poor girl Armin wound up emptying his stomach on a tree over. She must have been a good person, he'd thought. She hesitated, he thought. 
> 
> So, I knew I had to write about it. And I cried a lot of very angsty tears over this as I was writing it, because you know you get attached to fictional characters and the struggle is very real. The rest of the squad formed around the idea of fleshing out this girl and her struggles, and the story developed itself from there. 
> 
> I am sorry for the cliffhanger. I am sorry for the wait. But I'm not sorry for breathing life into a throwaway character who had so profoundly impacted the lives of some of the 104th. Stay tuned for the aftermath in the next chapter.


	16. May the Living Be Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squad Shoughnessy recovers from the devastation they suffered from Kenny's troops of devoted MP's and is assigned to investigate reports of foul play in the Underground worrying enough to attract the attention of their Commander. With the government in upheaval over the reveal of the puppet King, the unbroken squad of MP's begins to learn that the rules were made to be broken. The Military Police have fight left in them yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I'd be able to recover from the last chapter. After all, that was the entire point of me telling this story was to give a story they might imagine for a character they probably don't think much about. 
> 
> And yet, there were still so many loose ends that needed tying, I decided to continue and see where the squad ended up. Things took a pretty interesting turn. 
> 
> Thank you guys for staying with me thus far. Who only knows where this is going, but I promise it's surprising me too as I go.

The light was loud and roaring when Devlin opened her eyes. She squinted and covered them with the back of her left hand to shield herself. Her throat was a desert and every breath was sand. She began to feel her body again; registering fingers and toes and wiggling them. 

 

Suddenly, the world went dark again with a slight screech as curtain slid to cover the bright window, and Dev knew she wasn’t alone. 

 

“Who’s there?” She croaked and around, but her eyes struggled to adjust to examine the figure in the corner. 

 

“It’s me.” 

 

“Who’s me?” 

 

“Nile. How are you feeling?” The silhouette of her commander handed her a glass of water, which she drank cautiously.

 

“I think you already know most of the answer to that, but the rest will depend on what happens when I have the information I need.” Devlin pushed herself up to sitting, surprised by her own weakness. “How...long have I been out?” 

 

“Three days.” He replied. “My turn. What do you know about Kenny Ackerman’s Anti Human Defense Squad’s hideout?” 

 

She closed her eyes and scanned her memory, pushing through fog and blankets of grey until settling upon images she desperately wished to unsee. Her body jolted involuntarily and she clasped her hand over her mouth to keep from yelling, but she was already well into tears. She couldn’t stop them, no matter how hard she tried to cling to any vestiges of professionalism that remained in her. She could not even reach herself. 

 

Nile pulled his chair to her bedside immediately, unsure of what to do but certainly not prepared for this reaction. He waited and watched, and Devlin could feel his eyes on her. Occasionally he would avert them to stare at some blank spot on her sheets, but it was as though Dev was watching the entire scene from somewhere on the ceiling rather than right where she was...which...incidentally, looked like a hospital room. Again. 

 

After some time, she watched herself slow the tears and begin breathing more evenly. Her commander crossed his legs and looked at the floor. 

 

“I’m sorry, that was a bad idea. I know you have questions. We can talk about those first. I’m...very sorry, Dev. I’m not very practiced in the art of consoling the bereaved...not like Erwin I guess. We don’t have as much call for it. I’m not leaving here until I know you’re alright, so that will take as long as it needs to.” Nile spoke in a low voice, but clearly enough that she could still hear. She calmed further. 

 

“I know they’ve been making weapons specifically to kill people in the Survey Corps. I know it’s an inside job among the MP, as we discussed before. We know they are above the law but I was never given any location as to a stronghold or whereabouts. I just assumed they operated directly from the King’s palace. I don’t know much about Kenny himself other than the fact that he had a thing for...for Elf. Where is Elf?” She swallowed through the question, her final memory of her friend being a bit hazy. 

 

Nile exhaled, then nodded to the other corner of the room. “She’s there. She’s in bad shape, Dev, I have to say. She’d been shot twice, and I think one of those bullets came from the Survey Corps. From what I understand, it was a quagmire. I won’t ask you about that. She’s been clinging to life in this room but every time the doctors try to move her she worsens, so they’ve just kept her here with you.”

 

Dev leaned forward in her bed until she could get a clear view of Elf in her bed. Her long braid was undone and combed around her, her hands were folded calmly across her abdomen. Her eyes were closed and dark, and her skin was pale where it was exposed and bandaged in several places. It was strange seeing her this way; only the palest hint of life suggested itself when she breathed in and out. “Is she going to make it? What do the doctors say?” 

 

“They aren’t sure, but she’s fighting pretty hard and still manages to have the presence of mind about her to not want to be far from you. She’s deceptively tough.” Nile said.

 

“Of course she is. She’s Irish.” Devlin mumbled. 

 

“What does that mean?” 

 

“It’s complicated but...it’s where we’re from. I mean originally.  Éire it was called. It’s probably still called that if anyone still lives there. Depends on if Titans can swim.” Dev began to wonder if she’d gone a little strange speaking freely like this. “That brings me to my next question: why am I here? I don’t feel any new wounds anywhere.” 

 

“That was part of the mystery. We found you on the street during cleanup along with your squad, and no one could remember what had happened. Heinrich said you just sortof...fainted and stayed that way. He and Colin are well, mind you, if grief stricken. I’d asked them to take some time off but they said they wanted to get to the bottom of this thing immediately. They’ve been sent underground.” 

 

“Underground?” Devlin drank more water, thinking. Nothing she’d ever heard about the fabled “Underground” was good. While the nobility built their glass and mortar kingdoms on the surface, they did as they always did to those less fortunate and pressed them down on bended knee. Those whom they relied upon to do their dirty work out of the watchful eye of the sun were forced below into underground tunnels and cities. Many who scraped by in this subterranean world were hardened by the harsh realities of their lives as throwaways. Still, the world beneath also bore whispers of a life before the walls; unusual objects and people in hiding. She had been curious to seek others like her squad, but knew better than to wander into the underworld without proper preparation. 

 

“There’s something else you should know. Actually quite a few things I’ve had to hold back from you for reasons, but I see no sense in keeping it from you now. Erwin has been arrested and sentenced to die for treason, but wouldn’t you know the truth has a funny way of exposing itself when you least expect it.” Nile shook his head a little. 

 

“Sounds complicated.” Devlin narrowed her eyes. “What truth is that, Nile?” 

 

“How can I put this. While you were out, we may have overthrown the government and removed a puppet king from his throne, as much of the nobility was deemed to not have the best interest of humanity in mind...rather the thickness of their wallets. I never believed I would be saying this out loud, but here we are. And to be quite honest, there’s a lot I did not realize I should have known; information that was kept from me. I’m not standing for any of it anymore, and Devlin neither should you.”

 

“Wait, Nile, wait. *YOU* deposed the King? Or..helped? Holy shit. Really?” Devlin blinked. Nile’s face did not reveal any sign of levity. His eyes were hard and resolute. “Or...well..ok if that sad sack of bones wasn’t the King then where the fuck is the monarch?! How am I supposed to find answers?! That’s why any of us were here in the first place. Ai died trying to have that opportunity!” 

 

“We all served the King, Dev, and were all collectively and devotedly duped. We serve the ideal of a protector of humanity at least, but wouldn’t you know it was probably the military all this time that was truly its spear? We know who the royal family is, the Reiss family, and we are seeking them right now. Our intel suggests that Reiss and Ackerman are working together with their anti-human defense force and we’re not terribly sure where that is. That’s why Colin and Heinrich have gone underground; they have accepted my mission for them. I will explain this plainly.” Nile slid his seat close enough to lower his voice so that Dev could hear him, but not loud enough that the walls could hear him. “Erwin has his own special operations force consisting of many of the 104th recruits you know, plus Levi and Hanji. They are the brains and the brawn of the survey corps. While I was busy being a fucking pawn for the so called monarchy, the interior MP built a force up against the very people our orders were sworn to protect above all and ultimately. I decided that I’m tired of being in the dark and playing by the rules of the sedentary. A portion of my forces are now keeping an eye on some unhappy jailbird nobles, and I’m not entirely certain what all Zackley has been up to. From what I’ve seen, I don’t need to know the extent of his influence.” 

 

“So that’s why you sent Colin and Heinrich to the Underground. You are establishing your own special operations unit.” Devlin surmised. 

 

“That’s correct. Several units, actually. To serve various purposes. I never want to be broadsided in a courtroom ever again the way I was the other day. I want very badly to give this opportunity to you; your squadmates only complied on the condition that I would assign you to the same squad. They demand your leadership.” 

 

“Yeah one fine leader I turned out to be. Ai’s dead, Nile. She’s gone and ripped right from me on false promises and false-er hope. Kenny promised her an audience with the King. That’s the only reason she did any of that. For us. For honor. She was an exemplary soldier and did not deserve what happened to her.” 

 

“As it happens, Kenny wasn’t lying. He’s the one working with the true royal family; he alone could have given you that access probably. Ai wasn’t far off, and I promise you her funerary expenses were taken care of. As will the needs of anyone else in your squad should the worst happen. My promise to you: you take on this assignment from me and I am willing to make any compromise you might require. I will turn a blind eye when needed; I trust your judgement.” 

 

“I’m really not worth that caliber of trust, Nile.” 

 

“Are you already plotting your trip underground in your mind?” he countered.

 

“Of course. I need to be with Colin and Heinrich. And Elf as soon as she is able, because I know she won’t stay in this prison forever.” Devlin sat up and smoothed her hair down.

 

“Then I trust you more than I trust anyone else in this rinky dink military establishment, and know that my judgement is not misplaced. Devlin when we re-establish a monarch, we will need the support of the people. The media is an unexpected ally in this moment, but we will need more than a newspaper and kind words to persuade those living underground that they can return to the surface if they want. That we’re loosening security on the checkpoints and redistributing wealth properly. We will need them on our side if the Nobility decides to reach to them to rise against our newly established government. Call it a pre-emptive strike.” Nile’s eyes never broke contact with hers. 

 

Devlin considered a moment before continuing. 

 

“You’re asking me to rally criminals, thieves, and the severely impoverished to the cause of a new monarch we haven’t located yet. That’s a hell of a tall order. What kind of authority will I have underground? What assurance is there that I won’t be swallowed by those who disrespect authority altogether?” 

 

“If you think about it, it isn’t much different at all from what our job has been on the surface. You’ll be given authority to run your unit as you see fit. You needn’t wear the MP uniform or insignia in a way that endangers your life; I leave you to make that call. Does this mean you are already considering my proposal?” Nile fidgeted with the end of his sleeve, as he was unaccustomed to making shadier deals intentionally. Usually he just turned a blind eye to some of it, or didn’t really know what was going on beneath his own nose most of the time. 

 

“You’re creating your very own group of loyal outlaws.” Devlin was amused. What would Ai have thought? 

 

“I am asking you to be my highly trained, loyal to the ends of the earth, specialized strike force and recon squad. I trust that you will not abuse it; I trust that more than I trust anyone who knows of your existence as one who came from outside the walls to not take advantage of you. I will handle all of the paperwork, Squad Shoughnessy. You will be our eyes and ears underground. Do you understand all that I am implying?” 

 

“ I do. How much longer do you figure I will be in here?” Devlin rubbed the back of her neck. 

 

“I’m not a doctor, unfortunately. I will leave the assessment to them. And Dev, I’ll look after Elf. Rather, Marie has volunteered to watch over her personally. Meet me in my office when you are prepared to receive your assignment from me.” Nile stood and adjusted his jacket. 

 

“Heinrich and Colin have accepted? Just to reiterate.” Devlin looked up at him. 

 

“They have, conditionally. If you join them, they’re all in. If you choose not to, they will be placed in reserves until such a time comes that their expertise is required. I will do my best to secure a safe passage for you four beyond the walls if I am able and if it is your desire. But Dev? I need you underground.”    
  
“Then I accept the mission. I will see you in your office soon.”  Devlin saluted her commander. 

 

“I will brief you later, then.” Nile returned the salute. “Farewell for now.” 

 

With that, he took his leave, and Devlin was alone with her thoughts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Devlin walked alone, stepping over debris in the partially ruined underground tunnel. She knew she didn’t have far to walk; the air was already stale and reeked lightly of sewage. There were no illusions that remained; she was already in hell and was about to face the worst of what this ringed circus had to offer. She wore brown breeches, a white linen shirt, a long black coat and black boots. She carried a bag slung over her right shoulder that was filled with her personal affects, some food, and some survival gear. She was also armed with knives she kept up her sleeves and along the length of her boots. Two pistols were secured within the lining of her coat, so that they were not immediately apparent. Nile had fitted her with a brass badge that she concealed on the reverse of her coat lapel and would allow her access through every security checkpoint. Gone was the familiar feel of her 3dmg; the blade boxes no longer thudding against her thighs. She kept a spare harness in her bag, should she require it. 

 

And still with every step she took, she was aware of the increasing distance between herself and Elfrieda. She’d sat at Elf’s bedside, explaining the situation to her as she slept. Dev didn’t understand the link that she shared with this girl, but somewhere in her gut she knew that Elf would hold on for her while she went Underground. She had seen images in her mind; whether they were her own wishful thinking or her imagination overworking it was hard to tell. They were images of the four of them reunited, above or below ground was more difficult to discern. The where didn’t matter. The slim candle of hope it granted her was everything. She hummed to herself as she approached the guards at the final checkpoint. The tunnels opened into a vast cavern as far as she could see; buildings hewn into rock, chunks of destroyed buildings that had been made into living spaces, people moving like shadows through the streets below, and the rancid smell of dirt and refuse that lifted itself on a breeze. 

 

“Squad Leader Shoughnessy, be careful out there. You go past this point and you’re on your own. They make the rules down here beyond these stairs. I trust you are prepared.” The guard checked her badge. 

 

“I’m prepared. They’re just people.” 

 

The guard gave her the once over and nodded. “I hope you are. Good luck, officer. If you don’t find your place by sundown, come back to me. You don’t want to sleep without cover down here.” 

 

Devlin walked past him and down into the depths of the Underground. A black slimy substance seemed to exist in every crack and crevice, outlining every misshapen cobblestone. She didn’t dwell long on imagining what it might be. Despite the general uncleanliness of the edges of town, someone was clearly doing upkeep in the main thoroughfares. 

 

She followed the flow of foot traffic through town, around a fountain that smelled like piss, and tried not to let her eyes linger too long on things that might make her stand out as a newcomer. She kept her eyes low and kept tabs on her peripheral vision for anyone that had their interest drawn. She stopped to rest on a stone bench and pulled out a biscuit to eat as she watched people pass by. This might be what was considered the center of town, she decided, as there was a circle of benches around an open area in which the streets spurred off like spokes. In the center, stood a damaged statue of a lost goddess covered in birds. Someone had blindfolded her. 

 

These people wore clothes that appeared handmade. They were loud and prone to fighting one another. Several men and women were playing dice against a far wall. Across from her, she became aware of a dark shadow that seemed to be watching her with intensity. She pretended not to notice, and casually finished her biscuit. To her left, there were a group of children playing with a hoop and stick watched over by a tall woman with a pistol at her hip and a musket on her back. She kept her back to the wall, and enough of her skin was exposed that Devlin could see that her skin was heavily tattooed. When Dev looked back, the shadow watching her was gone. She frowned. She decided there was better safety in numbers, so she walked to the woman guarding the children so that they could play. 

 

“Hi.” Devlin said simply. The woman moved her hand to her pistol unapologetically and leveled it at her. Her hair was short and red like Colins. Her eyes were kind, but the look on her face was serious. 

 

“The hell do you want.” 

 

“Nothing in particular. I’m being followed and figured I stood a better chance near you than any of these assholes.” 

 

“Give me cash.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“You want my protection you better get used to the idea, newbie.” She pulled the hammer back on her pistol. Devlin removed a sum from the bandages she was using to bind her chest and handed it to her.

 

“Whose protection am I buying?” Devlin crossed her arms as the woman holstered her gun. 

 

“Name’s Rusalka. I’m a Card.” 

 

“Sorry about the boob sweat, Rusalka.” 

 

“It spends the same. What are you doing down here, plant?”

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

“Oh, you might be a spy. I don’t care about that. You’re a plant because you live in the sunlight like the rest of the surface dwellers. Better get used to the name.” Rusalka pocketed the cash.

 

“Ah, so you hate me already.”

 

“Maybe. You’ve got a head on your shoulders, though. You singled me out from all of those people you could have chosen, which means you’re smart as fuck. Where are you staying?” The tall woman crossed her arms and relaxed her stance a little.

 

“Down here. Where else.” Devlin watched one of the kids run face first into a wall. The other children laughed at them. Instead of crying, the child rubbed his head and laughed and went right back to playing.

 

“See? Smart as fuck. I could have robbed you in your sleep if you’d told me.” Rusalka smirked.

 

“You would have tried, but I’m not ready to be without that protection I just paid for.” Dev said. 

Rusalka had a musical laugh that did not quite match her appearance, but her eyes sparkled when she did so. “You’re alright, plant.”

 

“My name is Devlin,” she said.

 

“Not down here it isn’t. You’ll get a new name soon enough. Better hope it’s a good one, or the people that name you are the good folks.” 

 

“So Rusalka isn’t your given name.”

 

“No. It’s my Card identity. We’re a gang. We protect those who can’t protect themselves.” 

 

“So you still made me pay?” 

 

“Honey you’ve got more weapons on you than some of these people have teeth. You can protect yourself, and now you’ve bought these kids food for a month. Not bad for a first day. Just don’t get caught looking alone as pretty as you are.” 

 

“I’m afraid that’ll have to wait until I find my crew.” Dev wasn’t used to being called pretty. 

 

“Listen, you paid me pretty well so let me give you some advice. Most of the people down here will do anything to make their living. If you see a woman alone, she’s either looking to sell herself or get killed. If you see a man walking alone, it could go either way but you can bet you don’t want to meet one walking alone. These other gangsters like to think so, but the Cards own this trash heap of a city and we’re not about to let them forget it.” Rusalka rubbed her wrists as her eyes darted around the town center. “No one down here cares where you’re from or why you’re here. They only care that you’re standing behind them when you’re both being chased.”

 

“Glad I found you then. I might be looking to have a word with some of these gangsters. Especially the variety that fly.” 

 

“If you meet me back here tonight when the fires start, I’ll see about getting you a name.” 

 

“Deal. I better go.” Devlin wondered where Colin and Heinrich had gotten to in this mess. She had no idea what the fires were, but she figured it would be obvious. Dev walked down the street labeled to match the one her lodgings were located on. Out of her peripheral vision she could see a group of children standing outside a building panhandling. To her left, she saw a group of adults watching the children from a distance, but who were not too subtle about glaring at her as she passed. One of the children ran to them and pointed at her, and a woman nodded. 

 

Devlin picked up her pace and kept pace with the other foot traffic. She decided to keep her hand on the handle of the pistol in her pocket, just in case. Her lodgings were a few blocks away when a young child ran up to her and pulled on her coat. 

“Miss! Miss!” A small girl with chesnut eyes pulled on her coat. “I’m hungry!”

 

“Ask your mother for some.” Devlin tried to push on. 

 

“My mother is dead. My father isn’t home and I can’t cook for myself. He says I’m too little.” She kept tugging. 

 

“Alright, here. I only have a biscuit, so don’t ask for more. And don’t send your friends to me, either.” Devlin handed the girl a biscuit, and the girl grabbed her hand tightly and stabbed her forearm with a syringe and injected some burning fluid into her. Dev was too shocked to function for a moment, and her arm began to tingle until she slapped the syringe away. The girl had taken the biscuit and left, and Dev’s vision began to blur. 

 

“I can make it a few more blocks,” she thought and broke into a panicked run, her leg still aching a little from her previous wound. She knew then that people were following her. She slowed her run, realizing that it would only circulate whatever she’d been injected with faster.  She wove between people as calmly as possible, breathing evenly and fighting the sudden lethargy she was faced with. She rolled her sleeve up to look at her arm to find that it was red and puffy at the injection site. She estimated that she had a few seconds, but she might make it through the door. 

 

When she had only a block to go, a strong arm jerked her into an alleyway. She went to remove a knife from her sleeve to defend herself, but found that she had lost significant coordination. The cloaked figure pinned her to the wall and leaned close to her ear.

 

“Devlin, it’s me. I’ve got you. They’re still hunting you so I’m going to ask you to trust me now, follow my lead, and forgive me later.” His voice was familiar. She stopped resisting and forced herself to keep her head up. 

 

“Colin?” Dev squinted to see red hair and a mischievous smile in the shadow of his hood. 

 

“They’re coming. Don’t talk.” Colin wrapped both of them in his cloak and kissed her. Devlin had been through far too much to care about how appropriate this was or wasn’t, so she let him. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been as happy to see him as she was right now. The wheels in her head were moving slowly, but she understood what he was doing. It took all of her effort to pull him closer, not entirely sure what to do but cognizant enough to mirror his movements to play along accordingly. She saw a crowd move past the entryway to the alley, and Colin relaxed a little and pulled away from her. 

 

She laughed a little. “Oh my god. Hello to you too.” Her knees felt weak, but she wasn’t convinced it was the drug alone. Everything was suddenly funny, and she decided that was definitely the drug. “What if they come back! I didn’t say stop!” She pulled Colin back to her and kissed him again before her knees gave out and everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

 

She woke up with a small light in her eyes, and she swatted at it but her arms were full of lead. 

 

“Bright. Stop. Dumb.” She flailed. 

 

“Oh good. You’re not dead,” Heinrich said and blew out the candle he was using to check her pupils. 

 

“Nope. They keep trying though. How’ve you been?” Dev tried to sit up. Heinrich was sitting at her bedside and helped her. 

 

“Feckin’ awful.” Heinrich was wearing a simple linen shirt, suspenders, a pair of brown breeches and boots. 

 

“Me too. Elf is stable. Boss says she’ll be a while. He might send her down here too in a couple weeks. The hell did they hit me with?” 

 

“Hard to explain. An anesthetic used for surgery, but it seems that’s all it was. That’s how they abduct a lot of people into the trafficking industry down here. I’m surprised they’re using kids now, though. Bastards.” 

 

“I think I remember Colin found me. Is he ok?”

 

“Yeah, we had a run in with the same people when we got here but he shot the guy that jabbed him, so those people have left us alone since then.” 

 

“Effective.” Devlin shivered a little at the thought of Colin killing anyone. “Where is he now?”

 

“Getting groceries.” Heinrich smirked.

 

“They have groceries down here?” 

 

“Sure do, but it’s expensive as hell because most of it is either contraband or given as payment to gangs by the nobles that hire them. We’ve been able to make rice and barley last a long time so I hope you like it.” 

 

“I’ll make it work. How long have I been out?”

 

“Only about two hours. It’s like your own personal best.” Heinrich got up and walked over to what she assumed was his workbench. The whole room had four hammocks, several locked chests, and a lot of random pieces of junk that Heinrich was probably working on. 

 

“When are the fires?” 

 

“How do you know about that?”

 

“I met a Card who wanted me to meet her when they started, and I feel like I should.” 

 

“Wow, already? We’ve been trying to get in with the Cards since we got here, but I don’t think they trust us yet,” he handed her a glass of water. “Savor that, clean water is expensive too.” 

 

Devlin drank it gratefully and realized she could feel her limbs again. The drug wore off as quickly as it took effect. 

 

“I am back! Be proud, for this day I have brought forth many much sought items from the market and I present to you a bounty!” Colin set a large sack down with a grin. “I bring cheese, vegetables, grains, soap, and ..wait for it…beef jerky.” 

 

“Welcome back! I’ll cook dinner. Colin, Dev is going to need you to join her when the fires start; she managed to score a Card contact.” Heinrich began to make a fire in the stove. 

 

“Oh, dammit. And I thought beef jerky would be the big news. Overachiever.” Colin ribbed her a little and put the groceries in the small cupboard near the stove. 

 

“Oh, the fires are when the dead are incinerated once a week to keep the plague from breaking out down here. You can imagine, they have a lot of dead and a lot of disease.” Heinrich remembered.

 

“That’s...really awful.” Devlin processed. 

 

“No, what’s awful is the smell. It smells like grilled steak and you feel sick when your stomach rumbles. I wonder how many people have actually resorted to cannibalism down here, but I don’t actually want to know the number.” Heinrich said. Devlin closed her eyes in disgust. 

 

The three of them ate dinner together and traded stories to catch up with each other. The one thing they all seemed to share in common is that each of them professed to have some sort of link to their other squad members. Colin said that he’d somehow known when Devlin had come to town and had gone out searching for her. Heinrich knew that Elf was still among the living, and hadn’t worried much in the meantime. They’d each had dreams about their past beyond the wall, and also appeared to share the same image of them in the future. It kept them all going, but especially the two men in the darkness of the underground. 

 

Heinrich handed each of them a cloth face mask to shield their faces when Dev and Colin headed out to the town center together. Dev realized with creeping horror that a lot of the black slime and grime she saw around town was soot from all of the lamps that needed to keep burning to illuminate the town, and also the fires from the mass cremations they performed regularly. She shuddered. They found Rusalka in the spot Devlin had left her in.

 

“Who’s he?” Rusalka demanded. 

 

“A plant like me. He’s part of my crew.” 

 

“He didn’t pay me. Why should he be here?” Rusalka slid a knife from her boot. Around them, other women dropped from the rooftops and stepped out from the crowd to surround them. 

 

“Ah, they’re the Queen’s suit,” Colin stated. “But which one I wonder.” 

 

“Spades. We can put it on your gravestone if you’d like.” Rusalka was unamused. Colin pulled a roll of coin from his boot and held it out to her. She nodded and took it from him, tossing it to a blonde girl to her right with bright eyes and long bangs that fell in her face. 

 

“He’s fine by me,” the blonde said, counting out the coins. “Hell for this amount he could take me home with him.” 

 

“You cannot buy all of the men in Underground.” A shorter girl with curly dark hair spoke in an exasperated tone. 

 

“Not with that attitude.” The blonde replied. Devlin observed that these women looked well nourished and tough. The blonde had a small spade tattooed just below her eye. In fact, now that she’d noticed, all of the women surrounding them also sported spade tattoos in various places. Some of them also sported tattoos with numbers on them, or shackles around one ankle worn like a bracelet. 

 

“Ladies, save it.” A tall girl with long brown hair, half of which was shaved off on one side, shook a club at the other two in a manner that suggested she was serious but not going to hit them. “Now’s not a time to discuss hobbies. It’s going to start smelling like a fried corpse out here real soon so we ought to get moving.” 

 

“Tlachgta has a point. As usual,” Rusalka gestured to the others. “Lamia, Kore, escort our new patrons to the house. We’ll do introductions there.” 

 

The women blindfolded Dev and Colin, then started walking and guiding them along. They processed as a group through the city until they came to a row of houses where their blindfolds were removed. They walked to the door of a house made of grey stone and some type of red clay. The only thing to mark it as different from the others was the Spade branded upon the heavy door and the fact that parts of the building seemed hewn from the surrounding cave wall. Rusalka unlocked the door and led them all inside, down a circular stone stairwell and deeper into the earth to a room that glowed on it’s own power. It was constructed of a strange looking crystal material which formed the walls. There was a shelf of scrolls and books, a wall of weapons, and a heavy wooden table surrounded by chairs. 

 

Tlachgta, the brown haired girl, spoke up first. “Everyone please take a seat. We have a lot to cover.” 

 

Rusalka nodded. “We do. It seems we have a common enemy. Tell us more about this flying gang you seem to have bad blood with. The tall woman sat and kicked her feet up on the table and folded her arms. 

 

“No really.” The blonde Lamia said, sitting on the table next to Colin. “ _ Tell us everything. _ ” 


End file.
